I wouldn’t go as far as to blind someone. I also wouldn’t want to cause a man to be impotent for the rest of his life.
I have heard of men getting pain killers for testicular injuries. True, some hits aren’t as bad as others - giving birth might be about the same every time. I once heard of a man jumping on a trampoline and going off the side on to the springs. He hit squarely on the sack. He lost a testicle that day. I think that is worse than most natural births. I am keeping in mind that this is not a contest, and I have never given birth. But, from what I’ve experienced and from what I’ve heard from my mother and other mothers, a good kick to the nuts is worse in most respects.
I also think you should never hit someone in the balls. Even in a situation of self-defense, there are better places to hit.
When I taught a bit of self-defense to my GF, I explained the following: If you hit a guy in the balls, you might very well incapacitate him, but in some cases you’ll just make him furious so don’t even try it. I have seen it happen. Once in Karate class, I saw a fight between a guy and a girl (both yellow belf) in which the girl kicked the guy in the balls out of the blue. The guy went ballistic, and it took the sensei and his assistant to get him under control. He says he blacked out and only came to when the sensei managed to restrain him. The girl was banned from class after hitting another guy in the balls two weeks later.
My point is: kicking someone in the balls could have the opposite of the desired effect. There are many more efficient things to do. Kicking someone right in the middle of the shins can break a leg and if it doesn’t, it will cause incredibly intense pain. Kicking someone in the side of the knee can break that person’s knee and disable them. Kicking someone in the inside of the thigh, a couple of inches below the crotch will cause so much pain that the person’s leg will be useless for maybe 10-20 minutes, and then even if the person can move, they won’t be running anywhere… And so on… All of these are more efficient than a kick in the balls, IMHO. Thinking that a swift kick in the 'nads will get you out of any situation is a recipe for great disaster, I fear.
Hitting someone in the balls is NOT funny. Let’s be real, hitting people anywhere is not funny, but hitting them in a spot that is a top contender for Most Amazingly Painful Bodypart is even more unfunny.
If you’re talking about self-defense, especially self-defense against a substantially larger/stonger oponent, ball-wacking can be an viable option, although it is not always the best option.
If you’re going to zap someone’s nads be sure you hit your target. 'Cause if he wasn’t going to kill you before there’s a good chance he will now.
Only once have I ever targeted someone’s testicles. At the time he was trying to rape me. I actually missed the target, but my foot impacted his leg hard enough to break a bone. I might also mention that at the time I was quite the little jock. I am not at all certain I could do that manuver again, being 25 years older.
As far as “leaving someone impotent for the rest of his life” - why the FUCK should I care about the hypothetical future sex life of someone trying to commit violence upon my precious body? The only sex life a rapist “deserves” is to be his cellmate’s bitch. I value my personal safety enough to be utterly ruthless in my own defense.
Here’s the deal - don’t commit any acts of violence towards me and I won’t have a reason to kick you in the happy sack, OK? I don’t start nuthin’, but for damn sure I’ve finished the game on occassion.
By the way - if a man is attacked by a woman he is allowed to defend himself. Chivalery is all very well, but let’s not get stupid about it.
A “testicular injury” is far different from just the average kick to the nuts. Any sensitive body part impaled on the springs of a trampoline would hurt like hell (testicle, vagina, eye, mouth, etc.) Comparing it to child birth, however, is still not helping you come off as credible. While in college, I worked for two OB/GYNs and assisted in Labor and Delivery (yes, it was perfectly legal). There are few things in this world that compare to the pain of child birth, and while I’m sure that losing a testicle to the trampoline was painful, I’m just not prepared to say that it even comes near the pain experienced during childbirth.
I think you’re just suffering from a case of pain envy.
By the way, giving birth is NOT the same every time. It is different for every woman, and different each time for individual women.
I spent my formative years as the youngest, smallest kid in my class.
You know, the kid who was a head smaller than everyone else, the kid who was a little further behind in every way.
My nads seemed to have a psychic bullseye, which only bullies and their toadies could see, but it was bright enough for them… From the time I was about seven till I was sixteen, getting thwocked in the nads was something I could get used to happening to me once a week or so.
By about seventeen I had developed a sort of a numbness to the pain. Oh, yeah, it still hurt, but I had dealt with it so many times it had begun to feel abnormal if my balls weren’t a bit swollen.
The payoff came around senior year. I had begun to sprout, I mean really get big, and even though my classmates were used to me, a new kid that year showed up in my class and decided to take me on, thinking, hey, I’ll beat up the big kid and assert my dominance over the class.
He walked right up to me the first day of my senior year and kneed me squarely in the scrotum. I stood and smiled, and ripped out a handful of his hair while he stood staring in disbelief.
His scalp was bleeding and he went running to the prefect- I got a day’s suspension but I also got named “Iron balls” and nobody ever kicked me there again.
Everything still works, despite the years of abuse, I have a beautiful child. One thing, though, my nads are about twice what you’d consider “Normal” size- I have used enough public showers to know that- and it’s been commented on by many people. Pity that kind of abuse couldn’t make your dick grow.
shrew: I shall point something out. Childbirth is meant to happen. Obviously, seeing as we have over 6 billion people, it works properly the most of the time. Now, nature would seem to have an interest in making a kick in the testes hurt as much as possible, so as to make men go to any lengths to avoid it. Women don’t seem to have any qualms about going through childbirth several times. Now, I am willing to concede that the average kick in the balls that I and other male dopers have recieved is not necessarily a massive impact, nor would it cause serious injury. However, any injury sufficient to cause the LOSS of a testicle is going to be freaking INSANE. We’re talking passing out from the pain if you’re LUCKY. Might I also point out that at the end of child birth you get a nice cute baby to take home, while a man has the lovely prospect of MAYBE a little less pain to look forward to.
I’m not trying to say childbirth is a walk in the park, but seriously. You have no idea how much getting kicked in the balls could possibly hurt.
[sub]Let the flames commence…[/sub]
Once, a friend of mine (female) was talking to someone behind her while walking and as she turned, she hit her solar plexus on a parking meter. When describing the pain, she said that it was radiating through her body, that she was entirely unable to breathe in or out, and that as her legs grew rubbery her vision started going in and out (flashes of light and black spots). This would be close to what happens when you get kicked in the balls.
I am not saying it hurts more than childbirth, and it would make no sense for me to make such a comparison, since I have never given birth, being male and all. However, I do believe that there is a major difference between both pains in the concentration of it. Meaning: childbirth probably hurts for a long time, whereas a kick in the balls is an immediate explosion of pain. It is not at all rare for guys to pass out or become ill (vomit) because of the intensity of the pain. The way I see it, the shock to the system is probably more sudden with a kick to the balls. A graph of ‘pain’ over ‘time’ would be sort of a spike followed by a slow letdown (the subsequent throbbing).
Having neither balls nor children, I’m by no means an expert in either being kicked in the balls or childbirth. But this whole thing of equating them just seems wrong. Childbirth, at it’s best, lasts for 2-4 hours. At it’s worst, it can last for much longer - 24 hours? 36? I don’t know what the record is.
I just talked to Mr. Athena, and although he is not, thank God, an expert in having his balls kicked, he says that the sharp pain and shock goes away in 3 or 4 minutes, and if it’s a really bad kick, that area might be sore for a while afterwards but the soreness is not anywhere near the pain of the initial kick.
In contrast, contractions go on for hours. Over and over again. How can one compare to the other at all? Maybe if you were comparing, say, a kick in the balls every 5-10 minutes for two hours I’d say that overall that might be more painful than comparable contractions. But 12+ hours of childbirth compared to maybe 5 minutes of ball-kicking? If it were me, I’d take the ball kicking every time.
Obviously, the discussion of nut crunching vs childbirth could go on forever. Luckily for you, Wisest Novel has the resolution. Let’s go to the Teeming Millions and find a transsexual who has done both, and ask him/her. It’s the only fair comparison I can think of…
After hearing all the stories of crotch attack on this thread, I think I’m the only person here who is lucky enough to have never known a psychopath or two. Geez.
Regarding the above, a) is certainly true. People talking about going for the knads in a fight must not be planning on fighting anyone experienced at fighting. Everytime I’ve ever been in a fight I made sure my nuts were always never in harms way.
Bart Simpson (on phone):“Hello? Is this Moe’s?”
Moe: “Yeah.”
Bart: “I’m looking for a guy name Mike. Last name: Rotch.”
Moe (to bar): “Hey, has anybody seen Mike Rotch lately? Anybody seen Mike Rotch?” laughter
I couldn’t disagree more. I dread childbirth more than anything else I can imagine. I fear getting pregnant because I know that for nine months, I will live in constant fear and anticipation of the worst pain I will ever feel. It goes beyond paranoia. I fear I will want to rip my baby out of my womb to protect myself from the pain he/she will bring. I know other women who feel the same way.
You are correct that I have no idea how bad it hurts, but as someone else pointed out, the average kick to the nuts causes pain for mere minutes, maybe soreness for a few hours or days. Childbirth leaves a woman incapacitated, for at the very least a few days, in many cases weeks. Stitches are involved, loss of much bodily fluid, many many drugs, a myriad of horrible and torturous surgical instruments such as forceps and scalpels, nausea, hemorrhoids, bladder infections, monthly or weekly pelvic exams, not to mention a pesky syndrome called Post-Partem Depression…it ain’t no walk in the fucking park.
Of course you’re welcome to your opinion, but it pisses me off that anyone would even assert that a wounded nut would hurt as bad as childbirth. It’s insulting, belittling, and offensive. Women deserve the respect and acknowledgemet that comes along with carrying the burden of reproduction. We do it, and we do it gracefully most of the time, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t rip us to pieces. This is one time when I will not allow a man to play pissing contest. It’s not the same. It’s not even comparable.
ummmm can I throw in my two cents worth?
2-4 hours for childbirth? Oh that would be heavenly! A tiptoe thru the candy store… try 72 hours… thank god the second one was only fractionally over 17 hours… a breeze…
Okay I am goin back to lurkin
I’ve taken it in the nads numerous times, in sport, fights, tree climbing etc, but its been a long time since. What I recall most of all is the severe naseau that immediately follows, yet no-one has described this aspect. Was it just me?
In my generation, it wasn’t considered cool to kick someone in the nuts or when he’s down, but I see today that that no longer applies.
TMI Alert: to Guys for sure; not sure about women.
No, it wasn’t just you, but frankly, I’ve been just a wee bit afraid to post a male comment in this thread lately. When I was a newbie Unarmed Combat instructor, a much more senior guy (who’d seen combat), told me that that was the normal reaction to the full-contact, kick-'em-up-to-his-chin attack. [Cringe]Usually with a ruptured testis or two, they guy would (mercifully) pass out from the pain, or would yerk up his spleen.[/Cringe]
Ah, the joy of being slammed in the crotch. Once in sparring for a Karate class I was in I sneezed when I most likely should not have. Ever taken a spinning back kick to your unprotected balls? I can’t describe the pain it caused. My vision whited out, and I couldn’t even cry or make noise. Ever throw up while clenching your teeth and trying to breathe all at the same time? Great fun for all! Nothing compared to a guy my roommate in college had on his football team; the dude got hit so hard that his scrotum exploded… Anyway, as others have said the nads still isn’t the best spot to aim in a fight, and I’m not even gonna touch the birth/nut smashing debate. All in all, slammed in crotch=not a good time. Back to lurking for me!
NO ONE is going to ever say childbirth is fun and games, but it’s not quite the horror story you portray. Yes, a woman is tired afterwards (that’s why they call it labor - duh!) and she may not want to get up out of bed, but I wouldn’t call her “incapacitated”. After a normal childbirth a woman is capable of standing, walking, moving around, taking care of herself and her child… better, of lcourse, if she has help, but it’s not crippling. Heck, my sister who had to have all her kids by ceaserian was able to get up and walk around afterwards and she had both pregnancy AND major abdominal surgery to contend with.
Stitches, scapels, etc are NOT automatically involved, nor are “many many drugs”, and involved less and less these days. Forceps are almost never used these days. Post-partum depression is not universal, nor is it usually Andrea Yates caliber.
Bladder infections and hemerrhoids can be acquired without pregnancy, and most women I’ve known who have been pregnant have escaped without infections of any sort (the one exception being one of my sisters, who really was sick the whole nine months). I probably know more men with hemorrhoid problems, and they sure as hell didn’t get 'em while pregnant!
Pelvice exams suck, yes, but they shouldn’t be painful. And properly done, those prenatal checkups can either prevent problems or give you enough lead time to plan the best way to deal with them.
Like I said, no one is ever going to say the process of childbirth is wonderful (well, a few nuts might) but niether is it the horror some young women think it is.
Back to the topic - I think it’s pointless to compare kick-in-the-nuts with childbirth. It’s like discussing whether breaking a leg is more painful throwing your back out or having a heart attack. There are different levels of intensity for both categories, and what one person defines as unbearable will be different from what someone else will.
To all of those who are debating whether being attacked in the testicles or child-birth hurts more well… you must remember pain is a relative thing that is extremely different from person to person (and gender too).
If childbirth or testicular injury could be measured in pain the results would be inconclusive because of the drastic differences in pain threshold between people. It would also seem different to people who have vastly different life experiences of pain.
Sure a stubbed toe will not hurt as much as a broken arm but when you dive into intense pain, pain is pain. Recalling past experiences is irrelevant, and will only fuel confusion.
BTW I think It is strange what people can get worked up about, pain, I mean come on just let it go :).
Beats me why I’ve felt like trying to reconcile in the Pit today; guess I’m just morose and masochistic with my daughter visiting her mom. But since my subtle “transsexual” hint didn’t go over, I’lll try something more direct.
Two postulates:
Childbirth is pretty dadgum painful. Heck, I darn near asked for an epidural when my second daughter got hung up on the umbilicus and my petite little wife dang near split herself like a wishbone getting her out to save her (did I also mention it was damn brave?). And that was just the contact agony. In fact, I distinctly remember saying I’d give my left nut to be able to take some of her pain away (Remember that tie-in!).
Nard trauma is pretty dadgum painful. Show me a man who’s seen it happen to another guy that doesn’t still cringe at the memory today, and I’ll show you a man who’s a)Had way too much fun through pharmaceuticals, or b)Has had far too many management lobotomies. Same’s maybe true of women who’ve observed this, but I have no data there.
Lookie! These are both incredibly painful acts, so heinous that even onlookers are violently affected. Common ground! Quod est dementia, or something like that.
