nobody wants to play with me!

how come I can’t get any e-mail pen pals?
What the heck? It can’t be halitosis thru the net can it? I try and I try but nobody wants to play with me!

“I was being honest, @$$hole, I would expect YOU to know the difference.”
~~John Bender in The Breakfast Club.
Talk to me, baby!

What have you tried? If you’re serious about getting your mailbox filled up, go to and join one of their groups.

I’m on HorrorLit (fans of horror books and movies), as well as a list of folks discussing the new fantasy series by George R.R. Martin, and a Science Fiction list.

I usually get about 100 messages a day – no spam, not much flaming, just good on and off topic discussions. Nothing too deep, mind you.

If you don’t see anything that interests you, then you can start your own group.

Or heck, just e-mail me. I’ll answer ya.

You can e-mail me too, and I’ll respond. I’ve e-mailed a few posters but they didn’t seem interested in maintaining a correspondence.

Just type in Pen Pals in your websearch and check 'em out. I did the e-pal thing for a time, but it was kind of hard to be selective – meaning I didn’t want kids, preferred to chat with women and chose to not e-pal with Americans. I mean, I am American, but I wanted people from other countries.

Damn! It took me months to develop a list of about 10, not including the AMERICANS who wrote me anyhow. Most of those dropped off after a while. If they e-mail you something funny and the SEND TO box is chock full of scores of others they also mail it to, then you’re just one out of a hundred or so, which means you’ll not actually get anything special going with them. Most of those types dropped out.

Plus I had to wade my way through the pay traps, especially for Chinese e-pals. I found several great spots where they displayed pictures of lovely Chinese women wanting e-pals BUT, after you wrote the e-mail – they pointed out that there was a fee to send it. China does not have much in the way of PCs. It went to a business, who hard copied the e-mail and then mailed it to the recipient.

I did find that many Korean, Vietnamese, Puerto-Rican and Russian women want e-pals who are willing to help them come to America. (The Russian babes will steam you up and if you pay their entry fees, will probably marry you, get their citizen ship, and dump you fast.) Brazilian women are willing to come over here also, for a fee.

The Japanese don’t seem all that interested, though there are some sites.

Now, Americans clog up the e-pal mailing lists by the ton! I estimate that for every one foreign poster for an e-pal, there are at least 10 Americans.

Plus, you might e-mail 5 prospects and get one reply. Good luck.

Smak D, there are any number of reasons you may be having difficulty finding e-pals. You replied to my Shel Silverstein topic on MPSIMS, and you seem like an articulate person. But I can tell you one thing about me and emailing (besides the fact that I’m terrible at keeping up with it), and that is that nothing annoys me more than corresponding with someone who is either illiterate (can’t spell, can’t use upper case letters when appropriate) or uses too many “shortcuts.” IMO, if U use 2 many of those, I can’t read what you’re writing because it hurts my brain to try to figure it all out. I don’t know your writing style, so I’m not saying that’s the reason, I’m just saying that’s one possibility that exists.

Another is the subject matter you choose to discuss. If it’s not something that’s of interest, or is blatantly ignorant, people won’t want to talk to you any further. For instance, if you came to the SD boards and said how much you’d like it if your girlfriend would poof up her hair, be sure to douche before sex and keep her toenails painted for your visual pleasure, you wouldn’t find too many people interested in corresponding with you. Also, if you meet someone in a discussion forum that was all about frogs and you emailed them about cows, unless you were discussing your shared title of god or godess of those species, you’d really be hopping into the wrong lily pond, so to speak.

Now since all of that was said purely as examples and not based on anything I know about you specifically, I’d also like to make a recommendation. I notice that you are new to the SDMB (you have fewer than 10 posts according to your profile). Perhaps a good thing to do is to hang out for a while, reading and responding to various topics of interest. As you click on things that are eye-catching to you, you will find others in those very topics who had an interest in that subject matter as well.

Read, read, read. The more you get to know people here, the more likely you are to find those with whom you have common interests and who might be interested in striking up conversations off the boards. If (when) you find someone you’re consistently agreeing with, if they’ve posted a link to their email address, that’s a clear indication that they’re open to receiving correspondence and then you can email them about one of their postings that you’d like to expand on.

That would be my suggestion du jour. Give it a try and see how it works. And good luck!

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” - Anne Frank

Yep…stick around and check people out…I have only been on the board a couple of months…but I’ve received emails on posts…and I alway respond to them…and I do carry on a few conversations with board members…most of the time I forget to check my email…so it might be a couple of days before I get back to people…but they don’t seem to mind…

“Do or do not, there is no try” - Yoda

You wanna know something about me…ask me…not my friends…