Not one person responded to my e-mails. (Lame rant)

The BBQ Pit
#1

Okay. Over the course of the last two weeks I have e-mailed the following people:

My brother
My best friend
Two different guys I knew in college
Two former coworkers I was very good friends with
A girl I am/was (it’s confused) sort-of dating
My parents
A cousin I am on good terms with
Several people I know from the SDMB
The result? Not one reply! Have I managed to alienate everyone I know? Am I such a lousy friend? Do I send too many e-mails? I don’t have a job with a lot of human contact, and right now I am living in the middle of nowhere, so I don’t get to socialize much in the ordinary course of events. So e-mails are one of the few things that make me feel connected. The result of the above-mentioned shunning (real or imagined) is that I feel very disconnected to humanity.

What the hell can I do? :frowning:

#2

There’s the obvious response of “Why don’t you just call them?” but I’m not a phone person myself.

Then again, I’m horrible at answering emails. Maybe your list of people is also bad at answering emails.

Or maybe your email isn’t working! Try sending yourself a test email. And if that doesn’t work, send them something they have to respond to…like a greeting card from kinkycards.com :slight_smile:

#3

That sucks, Lizard. I definitely know what it’s like to feel disconnected and alone – in my life, I’ve spent lots of time there myself. That being said, you’re doing the right thing in reaching out to people. It’s the best thing to do when you’re feeling down. Why you’re not getting responses, I can’t answer. Whatever it is, I’m sure it’s not due to being a lousy friend or human being – from what I’ve seen of your posting, you seem like anything but.

If you need to talk or want some friendly input, my email’s in my profile. And I promise to write back.

(And on preview… also what Harli said.)

#4

I’ve found that people are very bad when it comes to email correspondence. I wouldn’t take it personally.

#5

While I’m personally probably better about e-mail correspondence than I am at any other sort (I’m especially bad about calling people), I would have to say that I fall into this category as well. I currently have several personal messages that need replying to, and yet I haven’t done so.

Too busy posting on message boards or something, I guess. :wink:

#6

Sorry, i would reply to your OP, but i have something better to do right now. :slight_smile:
Seriously, though, if they’re anything like me, you shouldn’t take offence. There are times when i’m too busy, or just can’t be bothered responding to emails. Then, i’ll get a twitch of guilt and sit down and send long, informative emails to a whole bunch of friends and family. It never worries me too much if they don’t respond straight away, becuase i know that they, like me, have other things going on. I only stay in contact with people who i consider close friends, and if we happen not to speak or communicate for a few months it doesn’t put a dent in the friendship.

#7

[initiating canned guilty response]

Oh crap I’m sorry I meant to write you really I did but I’ve been so damn busy lately and every time I even have a chance to sit down at the computer I just don’t have the energy to actually compose anything and I end up just surfing the same three web sites over and over waiting for updates and I miss you too really and…

[pauses, inhales]

…I promise to e-mail you more often because I’m trying to get more organized I really am I mean I actually remembered to take out the kitchen garbage before it overflowed this time and…

[pauses again, gets a hold of himself]

Oh wait…you didn’t e-mail me, did you? Sorry. Never mind.

But anyway, I gotta agree with World Eater on this one. It’s not you, it’s them, 'cause 99% of people with e-mail are e-mail flakes. Chin up, Lizard.

#8

I’ll foreward my spam to you if you wish.

#9

Don’t take it personally.

I think there’s something about email. Like Avalonian, I’m better about answering emails than pretty much anything else. But sometimes I get in a sort of slump–I don’t post much to my regular boards, and I put off answering emails, I have no idea why exactly. Everyone you wrote may just be really busy, or not feeling up to composing an answer. And some people inexplicably don’t check their email more than every few days. I find that insane, personally, but there it is.

And I’ve got about four emails in my box I should answer, but somehow I just don’t feel up to it tonight. Maybe tomorrow…and it’s not that the emailers aren’t valuable to me–they’re close friends, or else people I’d like to get to know better. It’s just…a slump, I guess.

#10

Send some more. They’ll still want to hear from you, and it might remind them to respond :D.

#11

Were they genuine letters via email? Or did you spam them, with “hey I saw this neat thing on the net, so I’m sending it to everybody on my address list!”? The latter gets deep-sixed real quick with me

#12

I answer each and every one of my emails promptly and in full.

Well, the ones where they want to give me money, anyway. :slight_smile:

#13

Sorry jin, I’m not that desperate for friends yet! But thanks for the offer. :smiley:

#14

Offering people money doesn’t always work. This friend of mine in Nigeria tried it, and nobody replies to his emails… :frowning:

What else can he be doing wrong? :confused:

#15

Try this trick that Dale Carngie wrote in his book (How to make friends and influence people).

“Oh, I hope you enjoy the little gift that I send you by post. I know it will be just the right thing for you!”

or

“I hope you enjoy the gift voucher that I have sent you…”

But don’t send anything over until they reply to your email ;-D

#16

I never get decent replies (except from two people, my best friends) via email. Either they don’t respond at all, or they forward me glurge and chain letters and other bullshit that I really don’t care to read. I really prefer they just not answer at all if they’re going to forward a hopping bunny as an answer to a question like, “Do you know if Sue has had her double by-pass surgery yet?”

I have begun to think they don’t even read my letters at all.

I am very good about responding to email, but like others, avoid the phone. I will answer it, but I always check caller ID first. If it somebody I have just emailed, the first thing I ask is, “Did you get my email?” They usually say, “Yes, but thought I’d call you instead.” Whatever. And they all know I hate phone calls, and am a computer junkie. (I know…at least they did respond, but still…)

These people are otherwise very smart and I like them, but I’ve learned who to send “real” emails to, and whom to skip.

#17

Do you ever IM people? I find this a much easier way to keep in touch with people (and keep un-bored) that email.

#18

I’m right next yo you in the boat.:slight_smile:

#19

Gee, wouldn’t it have been surreal if no one responded to this thread? :slight_smile: