I am tired of the holes in my fence, the trespassing, the damage you wreak, the threats you make when confronted.
Non-violence has not worked. Sweet reason has been ineffective.
I have gotten the drop on you, forced you into the car, driven miles into the country, and released you only because I abhor bloodshed.
But I’ve had it now, you ravenous, chittering, tick-ridden pests. Derby Day is coming, and the next one of you I capture will be the centerpiece of a big pot of traditional Kentucky burgoo.
They seem more anarchist in orientation. I can visualize them parading under the black flag. (Actually, I could see myself taking action under the Black Flag if it weren’t for the environmental consequences).
Speaking of nazi influences, my own state university recommends euthanizing nuisance animals (well, chipmunks anyway) by gassing them in a CO2 chamber. :eek:
I would probably be on safer legal ground disposing of them on my property, as opposed to transporting them as if they were 19th century felons exiled to Australia. I can picture an Alice’s Restaurantesque scene in prison:*
Jackmannii, out in the exercise yard warily notes an approaching convict who resembles a biker version of Shaquille O’Neal.
Menacing Con: “And what are you in for??”
Jackmannii: “Well, uh…um…violating Section 301c, part 6b.”
Menacing Con: “What’s that?!”
Jackmannii: “Er…transporting a pest animal across township lines to the detriment of the public commonweal.”
Menacing Con: (Eyes Jackmannii with disgust).
Jackmannii: “Oh, and creating a nuisance.”
Menacing Con: (slaps Jackmannii heartily on the back, dislodging part of a lung) “Heeeey, you’re all right!!”*
I dug up my old thread wherein I recommended this system to Scylla. Essentially, you pump the burrows full of a mixture of propane and oxygen and then trigger an underground explosion. It claims to be very effective. I wonder if scorched earth syndrome is the real reason Scylla had to move from his farm?
And since there’s a natural gas line running nearby, I can take out that ugly housing development down the street at the same time as the woodchucks! I love technology.
Jackmannii, have you heard about the high-frequency sound pulsars that are supposed to keep unwelcome animals from your property? I’m not sure how well they work, but apparently, they send out a piercing sound that animals can’t stand, but which is inaudible to humans. I’ve seen them in a couple of places, and they don’t seem very expensive.
I’ve also heard scattering dried blood will keep animals from certain parts of the yard, but I don’t know where or how one would go about obtaining dried blood! :eek:
I believe the sound devices can also be purchased with the ability to create ground vibrations for burrowing animals, but I’m not sure if that would cause damage to your yard or not.
