Recently I started learning to play an instrument. I am always careful not to practice early in the morning or late at night, but the other day around noon, a neighbor complained that the noise was disturbing her while she was out on her deck. She wasn’t particularly rude or mean and took the approach that I surely was not aware that the sound traveled so far. I asked her if there was a better time of day, but she did not offer one.
My street is usually extremely loud: barking dogs, blasting car stereos, a couple of sports bars, and frequent construction noise. There is seldom any peace that could possibly be disturbed, and half the time the high-decibal noise comes from her own house, where her husband frequently cuts metal with power tools for his business. I was surprised by her complaint or I would have questioned her further, but none of her proposed solutions are feasible, so should I just carry on practicing or what? I’m definitely not violating any laws, nor did she claim I was, but of course I don’t want to be a bad neighbor or give up my instrument.
I have no intention of installing any soundproofing, as I will ultimately be able to move my instrument to a different area of the house, but I won’t be able to do that for a while.
The rule I grew up with was no loud noise before 10 am and no loud noise after 8 pm (loud noise being anything your neighbor could hear). That way you don’t offend people who wake up later or those that go to bed earlier.
Really, if she objects to it within those times, you are perfectly entitled to tell her to go stuff it.
If you want to be a good neighbor though, you can try to find a time to practice that won’t disturb her too much. I think you handled it well by asking for a better time. If she didn’t give you a time because she really doesn’t want to hear you practice at all, then she’s being unreasonable. If she says she’s going to be out on the deck for an hour, and you don’t mind waiting an hour, then no biggie. You are taking the effort to accommodate her. If she’s not willing to accommodate your practicing as well, then she’s not being a good neighbor. So, make the effort to work out a time between the two of you, but don’t let her stop you from practicing.
That’s my 2 cents anyway.
What instrument is it, by the way?
I don’t know, but this reminds me of that episode of Two and Half Men when Steven Tyler was practicing his vocals or something and Charlie could hear him and was annoyed and they ended up getting into a fight.
Oh, and on a note related to your question, who votes we that we eliminate leafblowers! I’m tryin’ to watch my soaps, ya know Mr. Leafblower!! 
She had a right to ask you to stop, and you have a right to completely ignore her, assuming you’re doing it not too early or too late and you’re not so loud that you are breaking any noise violations.
We had a similar thing happen many years ago, when Mr. Athena was heavy into his bagpipes. He’d occasionally play outside, along our very loud driveway or behind the house because 1) it’s nice to play outside and 2) he had to practice marching, which is hard to do inside a house. He’d never play before about noon or after maybe 6pm, and rarely was outside more than 30 minutes. Our house is on many acres, as are the houses around us. The neighbor’s house is far enough away that you can’t see it through the trees.
We got complaints from one neighbor, left via a note in our mailbox. There’s no way it was overly loud - when he plays, I can hear him if I’m inside the house, but it’s not so loud I can’t read or work (I work from home.)
As it turns out, Mr. Athena’s bagpipe teacher is a lawyer. We ran the complaint by him, and he basically said “Too bad for her.” He went on to say there are no noise regulations in our area, and if he wanted to play at 3am, there really was nothing the neighbor could do.
That said, he did stop playing in the part of our yard that is closest to the neighbor’s house and we heard no more complaints.
Where I live they run a leaf blower right outside my window for 30-45 minutes EVERY SINGLE NIGHT around 9pm but sometimes later, in all weather.
I have no fucking clue why they would do something like that, other than to piss me off, because there are exactly 0 trees. It’s a parking lot. I guess they’re trying to get rid of garbage but that makes no sense because they’re just blowing it around.
I’m totally on the OP’s side . . . unless the instrument is bagpipes. I get annoyed just thinking about them.
But seriously: You did everything you can to accommodate your neighbor, and the ball’s in her court to let you know when would be a good time. If she won’t do that, it’s her problem.
It’s a drum kit. Basically, I think she wants me to not play it at all if I can’t keep the noise contained. Her first suggestion was that I “turn down the amp,” but of course no amp is involved. Then she thought I could relocate it, but seemed to accept that finding a better place for a whole drum kit wasn’t much of a possibility. I’m sure she can’t even hear it inside her house, which is built like a university building.
I’m sure I’m not as loud as a stupid leaf blower or the concrete saws another neighbor had going last Saturday at 7 am or the multiple garbage trucks that stop by every day to clang the dumpsters around. It’s like she puts this in a separate category of noise for some reason.
At my last apartment, my neighbor began to play his drum at about 2 pm on a Saturday afternoon. It seems he liked to participate in drum circles and he wanted to practice. It was beyond fucking annoying, and I asked him to stop. He did, thankfully. I lived next to him for a long time, and we were cordial, but far from friends.
I can see how a drum kit would cause a similar reaction.
If you’re just learning to play, you’re likely going to get a lot more complaints. Certainly, even as a musician myself, I’d find it a lot more irritating to hear an 8yo in his first months of learning the trumpet for school band than I would to hear, say, a professional drummer practice, even if he’s louder.
As for ettiquette, I think it really depends on the neighborhood. For me, I’ve only ever gotten one complaint where I’m living now, but it was understandably because I was playing a bit louder than I should have at like 2AM (though, I’d played at that hour plenty of times). I have gotten more than a few compliments too, so I sort of figure most people probably can hear it but don’t really mind.
That all said, if I had a cranky neighbor, I’d try to find some sort of compromise. I’d look to practice freely at reasonable hours and if it’s an instrument that can work with headphones, try to use those as it got to later quieter hours.
To be fair, drums are pretty much the most annoying instrument on the planet (right up there with bagpipes). But you–as well as the OP’s pointlessly adversarial neighbor–do not have the right to silence 24 hours a day. 2pm is a perfectly reasonable time to practice. If peace and quiet is that important to you, buy a house in a rural area on 100 acres. Or get a white noise machine or loud floor fan. Or buy into a rabid HOA that legislates things like this. Prepare to abide by all of their stupid rules, though, not just the ones you care about.
I can too.
I live next to an expressway. It’s not a very busy stretch of expressway (more like a glorified on-ramp), but occasionally I can hear the traffic. Sometimes the semis make the whole house shake and I think it’s an earthquake.
But the thing is…it turns into white noise after awhile. I’ve always lived on busy streets, so this kind of “tuning out” is second nature to me. But a drum kit is probably too variable to habituate to. At least for me.
However, this doesn’t mean you have to stop. As you said, your neighbors don’t consider your feelings when they’ve got their noisy leafblowers going, so they should suck it up when it’s your “turn”.
You may want to close any windows, though (if you ever leave them open). Sometimes on my walks I can hear folks drumming from a block away, and 100% of the time it’s because they’ve got their windows wide open.
I think drums are louder than you think, and carry farther than you think. They don’t sound that loud when you are the one playing them, but they are. I would be very surprised if she couldn’t hear them inside her house when you are playing, even if her house is built like a university building. Keep that in mind when you are considering her point of view.
Drums also can’t be silenced very easily.
Knowing the instrument doesn’t really change my advice. In the interest of being good neighbors I would recommend trying to work with her to find a time that’s mutually agreeable, but if you can’t work that out then she’s just going to have to learn to deal with it.
Just tell her it could be worse. You could have taken up bagpipes. 
I think she’s going to be disappointed if she doesn’t want you to play at all. I wouldn’t even have entertained her suggestion to move the kit to another room. What you could do is put towels over the drumheads and stuff an old seat cushion in the bass drum.
Oh I’m sure they are loud and potentially annoying, but she did only mention not being able to use her rooftop decks, plus she’s across the street, not sharing a wall or even next door. The knowledge that the sound bothers her makes me feel guilty to play, but then I think I’m overreacting and should just not worry about it at all because her request is unreasonable anyway. Personally, I enjoy most of the neighborhood noise and it was one of my favorite things about living here.
If she is directly across the street, I can totally see how it could be really loud, especially if you are performing towards the front of your house with open windows. She’d be receiving the brunt of your sound waves. And what’s worse, there may be interference if the sound waves are ricocheting off her house. What sounds like rhythm to you may sound like cacophony to her.
I used to work off-hours (evenings and weekends) in a large office park. We’d often see a brass player there, giving full voice to his trumpet or trombone, and stop a while to listen to it echo off the empty buildings, bothering no one and entertaining a few of us. Hey, it was one solution…
…and with a low brass player in the house (sigh)…
But how much should we expect others to give up for our comfort? I don’t like that she is unhappy, but I’m abiding by society’s prevailing “quiet hours”; must we all simply be quiet all of the time because there will always be someone bothered by noise? I like when others are noisy and to hear the sounds of the city, so why should silence be the default? This is a city street, not a library!
I believe there are rules against street percussion here, alas.
You haven’t explained where exactly in your house you perform.
If it’s in a front room, think about moving out back.
If you’ve got a basement, consider going down there.
If you can’t do these things, don’t worry about it.
And what’s “street percussion”? That term makes me think of the kids here who play on inverted buckets at all hours of the day (for spare change) and drive everyone nuts.
You shouldn’t feel guilty about practicing. You offered to play at a different time, and she didn’t come up with any. That’s all you should be expected to do.
If she does approach you again, ask her for a one or two hour blackout time (in addition to not too early or late). I wouldn’t agree to a specific time slot you’re allowed to practice, because then you’ll have your hands tied if your schedule changes, or you’re just running late some day.