With The Dark Knight almost upon us, I thought it would be interesting to speculate as to where the franchise will go from here. These latest Batman movies have existed very much in their own universe, a far cry from both the campy TV series, and the day-glo mess of the Schumacher movies. Nolan’s Bat-verse is a much more gritty, realistic place, with it’s inhabitants as rooted in realism as much as possible. Gone are the garish costumes and scenery chewing performances, and in are more realistic attire, with the focus more on crime and criminality, all played out by the right man for the right job, as opposed to stunt-casting lead roles (seriously, whoever dreamt of Ledger as The Joker before it was announced?). To whit, I now give my thoughts on further possible denizens of Gotham City, with the style they might be portrayed, and a suitable actor for the job. Join in!
The Penguin
The Penguin was never a physical match for Batman, so why try portray him as such? Much better to have him as a Mob Boss of some standing, with many henchmen at his beck and call. Danny De Vito gave great penguin in Batman Returns, but would a deformed testicle with legs, controlling a flock of Penguins really wash in Nolan’s version of Batman? Instead, I propose a ruthless Arms Dealer, connoisseur of fine wines and cigars, complete with Monocle and, if you must, webbed hands, who crosses paths with batman when ol’ Batty starts turning his sights on the gun trade in Gotham. Sword in Umbrella has GOT to stay. For this job, I propose Jim Broadbent. Too old? Ok, Ralph Fiennes.
The Riddler
To me, The Riddler was a strange one; asking questions for no good reason. His outlandish crimes of old now seem silly in this gritty new take, so why not change him to say, a Kidnapper? Then he can leave as many creepy riddle clues as he likes. Or better again, if the censors would allow it, a Serial Killer, the likes of Seven’s John Doe, or Jigsaw of the Saw movies. Bats would have to solve riddles to try to save people trapped in nightmarish traps, to a ticking clock. This would really play up to Batman’s Detective skills, and would probably leave the movie a lot slower paced than matinee audiences would care for, but hey, I’d pay to see it. For the part? Well, for creepy serial killer types, we can’t always go knocking on Leland Orser’s door… Let’s have the guy that plays Ben from Lost.
Poison Ivy
Where the new Batman movies differ from say, Spider-Man, is that not many of their villains are as a result of toxic/nuclear/genetic mutation. The new Joker didn’t fall in a vat of chemicals, he’s just a nutcase with a cut up face and warpaint. As such, Poison Ivy can’t emerge from a Lab accident… must better to have her as portrayed in the animated series; as an environmentalist (or enviro-mentalist) hugely distressed at city officials who intend to level a sizeable portion of woodlands outside Gotham. She then goes about knocking them off one by one… Poison Lipstick is cool, it can stay. Of course, she can’t look like one of those new-age traveler chicks that stay up trees that are about to cut down, she’s gotta be smokin’ hot. I would say Maggie Gyllenhall, but she’s already cast… Selma Blair wouldn’t be bad.
Catwoman
None of this brought-back-to-life-by-cats bullshit; the new Catwoman just needs to be a Cat-burglar, of considerable skill. La Parkour free-running over rooftops in slinky skin-tight black clothes, complete with whip… all that is fine. Communicating with actual felines? Lose it. She’s gotta be a good Selina Kyle too, to arouse the interest of Bruce Wayne. She’s built for speed, so I’m afraid that rules out the bustier of actresses… Step forward Bryce Dallas Howard.
Any other thoughts about updating other characters to fit into Nolan’s new Bat-Universe?
