Taunton, MA
The worst place in the world to live for 3 years, trust me.
And I understand it smells worse inside than it does on the outside.
New York City, without question.
Q: Why did the New Yorker pawn his $250,000 Rolex?
A: He needed the money to buy a hotdog from a street vendor. 
And I haven’t even mentioned Catherine Genovese. Stabbed to death on the front porch of her NYC apartment building, and the neighbors did nothing. Poor girl bled to death; it took her about 30 minutes to die. Everyone there just watched it as though it were the Late Show on TV, then went to bed. I always tell that story to the New Yorkers who talk about how “kind and generous” their neighbors are.
I’m only sorry that the Soviets didn’t make good on their threat to nuke that hellhole. One good solid 50 megaton punch to America’s anus would have done the US a world of good.
My old home, Greenville, TX?
Town of about 25,000 people, most of the employed work through temp agencies like Kelly and working for a little over minimum wage at local factories. At least 13 crack houses (because that’s how many a crackhead friend of mine personally knew of), gateway to Dallas for most of the methamphetamines cooked around Lake Tawakoni to the south. Most of downtown is abandoned, it used to be a big cotton producing town and it’s population was twice what it is now in the '50s when things started to go downhill. Frighteningly corrupt courts, one unpopular fellow got one of the highest ever sentences for a non-injury DWI (25 years) because everybody in town was pretty sure he was getting away with other crimes. Dry city, but several bootleggers and it supports a town of 168 with two liquor stores 5 miles outside of town. Frequently has the highest per-capita murder rate in the State of Texas, had that dubious distinction two years in a row a few back.
I miss it.
I don’t get it. Street vendor hot dogs cost $1.00. Maybe occasionaly $1.25. Now if you wanted to make a joke about NY’s horrible rent rate…that would make sense.
**
So you’re saying…what?..your friends are wrong when they tell you they’ve experienced kindness and generoistiy at the hands of their fellow New Yorkers?
The Catherine Genovese story is a horrible one and the people who let it happen should be ashamed. But, are you saying they did that becuase they were New Yorkers? Or that the kindness and genrosity of millions of other NY’ers is meaningless because her neighbors were assholes? Like indifferance doesn’t happen everywhere?
I have a New York story. It involves getting mugged. It also involves two different people- one of them a homeless guy hanging out in the park by where this happened, one of them a guy riding by on his bike- who stoped, chased the
guy off, and then saw me to my destination. Muggings (and rapes, and every other horrible thing) happen in New York but human beings happen there too. Just like anywhere.
**
I was trying to come up with some kind of response about about standing up for human decency by suggesting the death of 8 million people, and why that was…let’s say, silly. But I think I’ll just let the quote stand.
bete “I love New York” noir
I came to this thread to specifically make the case for Pine Bluff, AR but I see it has already been done so I’ll second that one. Armpit would actually be too nice of body part for that place.
Badtz Maru - I never lived in Greenville but I always remember it as a nice place to buy gas between T-Town and Big-D. Careful not to speed while coming around that big curve on 30 though SPEED TRAP.
I just drove through Yazoo City, MS. Oh man, and I thought Pine Bluff was bad…
Yes, that is the very same Gene Weingarten who not only is a close friend of Dave Barry, but in fact is the one who pretty much discovered Dave Barry while working for the Miami Herald a number of years ago.
And for those familiar with it, it’s also the same Gene Weingarten who doubles as The Czar of the Washington Post Style Invitational contest. He gets around.
I haven’t seen a whole lot of the US, so my experience may be limited. Having said that, though, I’d have to nominate Tulsa, OK. I flew in for a relatives wedding and thought I had landed in one of the outer rings of Hell. It was hot, which isn’t so bad - I like hot weather, but also unbelievably dusty and dirty. The wind blew a gale all the damn time I was there and that just picked up the dust and dirt and moved it from here to there. A layer of grime seemed to cover everything - even the people. I’ve never seen so many pickup trucks in my life (and I come from VA), most of which seemed to consist of equal parts rust, body filler, and beer cans, and which were driven at ungodly rates of speed by Cleetus the Slack-jawed Yokel and his pretty little woman Boreen. The dirty-caked little ones reminded me of a litter of puppies crawling all over mama - only they weren’t anywhere near as cute as puppies (even puppies with mange).
Gertrude Stein said, “There is no there, there,” in reference to Oakland, CA. She obviously had never been to Tulsa.
Do you use the Manson murders for LA? They were after the Genovese murder, as were most of the Doper’s births. That instance was 1964.
I once heard a comedian say that he was pulled over in Gary (I was in Merrillville at the time). The cop busted him for speeding, and the following exchange occurred:
“Step out of the car, please.”
“Alright.” (Comic gets out of car)
“Son, I’m taking you downtown.”
“What? You’re taking me downtown for speeding?”
“Nope, son. I just don’t want to go alone.”
to continue where I accidentally hit ‘submit’…
If there exists an odor that is not manufactured in Perth Amboy, fear not, for it shall waft across the water from neighboring Staten Island, NY’s giant garbage mountain, like the perfumed emissions from Satan’s very own anus. No place on earth combines foul odor, bleak, dismal vistas and uninspired, pig-eyed and ignorant citizens like this backwater of the “Garden State”.
There is, however, a bright spot. Due to Perth Amboy’s strategic geographic locatiion at the mouth of a rancid waterway called the Arthur Kill, erosion will, EVENTUALLY, carry it into the sea. I’ll look forward to the moment eagerly!
One of my favorite palindromes is
“Tulsa nightlife: Filth, gin, a slut.”
As long as you’re running Google stats, I thought I’d try out my nominee, Fresno, CA.
+fresno +hellhole 100
+fresno +crime 30,700
+fresno +poverty 10,100
+fresno +armpit 307
Sounds like a contender, especially with crime and poverty. I just remember it being hotter than blue blazes there, and not much worth seeing. Of course, this was probably over 10 years ago, so I can only imagine that if it’s like the rest of California, it’s probably a sprawling metropolis now. Still hotter than hell, though. You can’t change that.
I have to defend Tulsa. I have to admit I stayed in a very upscale area but the city was clean, had culture, good schools, oil money, and fairly low crime.
Compare Tulsa to Little Rock whose idea of Fine Culture (think art museum or symphony orchestra) is Monster Trucks or a Lynard Skynard concert.
Whoa there with the Google searches, folks. I contend that you have to take into account the size of the city when you look at the number of hits. Naturally, a bigger city is going to be mentioned on more webapges. Let’s look at the hits normalized by population (I have El Paso = 564,000 and Fresno = 428,000 in 2000 from http://www.fairus.org)
On a per 100,000 population basis:
+city +crime: Youngstown=8744, El Paso = 4450, Fresno = 7173
+city +poverty: Y=3280, EP=1950, F=2360
+city +hellhole: Y=13.4, EP=18.4, F=23.4
+city +armpit: Y=116, EP=36.9, F=71.7
Clearly, Youngstown is the biggest armpit of the three, but Fresno wins the hellhole award.
I guess this leads to a question: Are we talking cumulative repulsiveness or density of repulsiveness? If you’re talking cumulative, then NYC or LA is going to win hands down, just based on sheer size. I would also argue that once a city exceeds a certain size, say 500,000, it’s hard to judge overall badness because good parts and bad parts will emerge.
I’d like to cast my votes for numbers 2 and 3 for Pine Bluff and Gary. Anyone know if they ever got all those junked insulators and PCBs out of Lake Pine Bluff?
Whoa there with the Google searches, folks. I contend that you have to take into account the size of the city when you look at the number of hits. Naturally, a bigger city is going to be mentioned on more webapges. Let’s look at the hits normalized by population (I have El Paso = 564,000 and Fresno = 428,000 in 2000 from http://www.fairus.org)
On a per 100,000 population basis:
+city +crime: Youngstown=8744, El Paso = 4450, Fresno = 7173
+city +poverty: Y=3280, EP=1950, F=2360
+city +hellhole: Y=13.4, EP=18.4, F=23.4
+city +armpit: Y=116, EP=36.9, F=71.7
Clearly, Youngstown is the biggest armpit of the three, but Fresno wins the hellhole award.
I guess this leads to a question: Are we talking cumulative repulsiveness or density of repulsiveness? If you’re talking cumulative, then NYC or LA is going to win hands down, just based on sheer size. I would also argue that once a city exceeds a certain size, say 500,000, it’s hard to judge overall badness because good parts and bad parts will emerge.
I’d like to cast my votes for numbers 2 and 3 for Pine Bluff and Gary. Anyone know if they ever got all those junked insulators and PCBs out of Lake Pine Bluff?
Houston. But with any luck, all that rain last month at least temporarily washed away the horrible stench of no zoning and petrochemicals.
You talking about Tyler or Terrell?
Gary, of course. Though others are up there too–Terre Haute for sure, and Cairo IL, Sharon PA, and Benton Harbor MI for sheer hopelessness. I haven’t mentioned East St. Louis because the last time I drove through it the place seemed to have become overrun with prairie, with an occasional weedy looking crack house.
If we are looking strictly at the question of pollution and god-awful odors, then I defer to Grandma Snac, aged 93 and still kicking, who traveled the length and breadth of the lower forty-eight back before clean air acts and factory abatements, back when pollution meant something, by golly. She very nearly wrote a magnum opus entitled Places I Have Smelled, featuring Gary, Charleston WV, most of New Jersey, a truckload of pulp mill towns in the South, and of course a certain town in eastern Iowa about which she wrote the first two (almost) lines of a limerick, viz.:
“There was a young girl from Dubuque,
Who said, ‘The smell is so bad I shall–’”
Decorous to a fault, that was as far as she ever got.
I think Buffalo, NY should get at least an honorable mention and although not very big Pikesville, Ky could be used as a benchmark for undesirable larger towns and cities.
I second any motions concerning New York City, Gary, Indiana and especially El Paso, TX.