I’m not talking about unemployed Dopers. I assume you are either looking for a job, or trying to get one by starting your own business, or getting educated.
I’m not talking stay at home parents and home-makers; parenting is a full-time job.
I also don’t want to hear about fulltime students and people who do more then 25 hours a week of volunteer work.
No, I’m talking stay-at-home spouses without kids where the other spouse makes decent money and is okay with you staying home.
People on mental or physical disability who are not bed-ridden and not in too much pain.
People who made peace with having an education that ensures being unemployed, and decided to just keep themselves busy.
Heirs.
Healthy retirees.
So, people who, for some reason, don’t have to work in the jobmarket, and whose time is their own.
Questions:
Are you happy?
That feeling of emptiness that most working people say hits them when they have been at home for two months or so, did you have that? Did it pass?
Do you feel you have to justify your position? To others? To yourself?
I’m healthy retired.
Never had any empty feelings about missing work. I did not hate my job (any of them) but I LOVE not having a job.
I go to the gym five days a week and walk for an hour; three days I lift a few weights.
I knit quite a bit, and read blogs written by knitters. In this way I have gotten to “know” people in Australia, Scotland, Toronto and Ontario.
I read a lot, mainly murder mysteries.
I watch hockey and baseball and some football. We have a minor league hockey team in town and AAA baseball nearby so we go to games. We also go to the symphony.
I am married and my husband is also retired. He does most of the same things but for knitting. He works on the yard and has built a workshop. He hunts and fishes. He also says he has never missed working.
Thanks for asking! You made me remember how lucky I am!
Are you happy? -Yes. I am fully content doing what I do.
That feeling of emptiness that most working people say hits them when they have been at home for two months or so, did you have that? Did it pass? -What feeling of emptiness? My days are now busier than they’ve ever been either at an outside job or at college…
Do you feel you have to justify your position? To others? To yourself? -For the longest time, it was somewhat of a sore tooth. Convincing myself that I didn’t need a ‘job’ was harder than convincing others, ironically.
What do you do with your time? Take care of the house/too many houseplants/cats, do volunteering for a few local art organizations (various committees and public outreach, as few as 0 hours one week and up to 10 the next.) and spend the rest of my day-time painting+doing the necessary legwork to get the said paintings sold. Also spend a lot of time with the hubby (who works full time, though he does work from home half of the week), read, and watch too many horror movies.
Anything else you can share? For me, the guilt of not “having a job” has been enormous initially. It got better once I’ve regimented my time into “Monday 9-5=cleaning+recreational painting day, Tuesday-Friday 9-5=serious work days”. Then the weekends are free and I can plan a social/volunteer life around that.
It’s… basically like having a job, but with more stress and a less predictable income.
Would like to echo** kayT** with thanks for the questions-- it’s nice to reflect on the fulfillment of it all sometimes.
Hard to stay busy at times. Really have to focus on projects around the house/yard. Luckily, there is always something that needs improvement or fixing.
Lots of TV gets watched, lots on interweb gets surfed. I take the dogs off-roading nearly every day. They love to run. When the sun gets low, the beer comes out.
I guess I’m pretty happy. People look at me funny when I claim to be “retired”.
I’m disabled (mental health issues) but in fairly good physical health.
Are you happy? Not at all. I’d so much rather be working.
That feeling of emptiness that most working people say hits them when they have been at home for two months or so, did you have that? No, not really. I did a slow transition on my way to disability, so I went from full-time outside work to full-time work at home to part-time work at home, then nada.
Do you feel you have to justify your position? To others? To yourself? I don’t see/talk to anybody, so my justification is all to myself, and I’m a pretty judgmental bitch when it comes to me. I do occasionally have to explain myself to health care providers, especially because I don’t have an immediately obvious disability.
What do you do with your time? I sit around a lot and stress about things I should be doing but can’t get done. I’m able to do some work around the house but not up to my Finnish mother’s standards :D. I read as much as possible, watch TV a little, play video games. (Note: I’ve been undergoing a transition to a new medication, so my activity level has been significantly impacted for the last several months.)
Anything else you can share? LikeWaxwinged, I feel a tremendous amount of guilt about not working. My husband has to carry all of our financial needs on his shoulders while I’m mired in the appeals process for Social Security, and that’s almost unbearable. I’d been self-supporting since I was 16 years old and it just about kills me to be dependent on somebody else.
I’m on disability for now - there may come a time when I have to go back to work but I dread it. I’m so much happier not working. Sure, I get bored sometimes but the boredom is infinitely better than the stress of working. I have a few friends who either don’t work or work part time so I go hiking, have lunch/coffee or go shopping with them. I read a lot, watch too much tv and browse the Straight Dope message board.
Not really. I prefer to work part-time rather than be off work altogether, but I don’t have a part-time job at the moment.
I do feel a bit of a need to justify myself, to myself and others. My husband works a full-time job - why should I not work, when he has to? I earn my keep around here (housework, paying bills, keeping the household running, etc.), but I still feel like I should be bringing money in, too.
I look after the house and household and all that entails. I have a fairly large yard, and every summer is dedicated to outdoor projects that keep me pretty busy. I prefer to work in the winter when I can’t be outside all day.
I watch some tv, but not a lot in the day (mostly just while eating a meal).
I would like to have a career, but it just hasn’t worked out for me yet (at 46). At this point my job is temping, and I’m able to take summers off that way. Ideally, I’d prefer a part-time job year round, but that hasn’t worked out, either. I am good at looking after my household - maybe I should turn that into a career.
I do feel very lucky that I am able to be a temp and have jobs come and go, and still have a good income from my husband’s work. Part of it isn’t luck, though, I have to say - there has been a lot of planning, decision-making, and hard work from both of us that has brought us to this point.
That feeling of emptiness that most working people say hits them when they have been at home for two months or so, did you have that? Did it pass? Never had such a feeling; enjoyed it from day one.
Do you feel you have to justify your position? To others? To yourself? * Not at all, to anyone.*
What do you do with your time? I care for my granddaughter 5 days a week. I go to the gym a couple times a week. I cook meals, clean up, read, visit the web, spend time with my husband.
Anything else you can share? I was able to save up enough in 401K, IRA, etc. that with social security plus my husband’s pension and social security we can live quite comfortably, travel and are both enjoying life immensely. We especially enjoy being able to spend a lot of quality time with our granddaughter.
1)Not happy, but ATM content
2)If you mean that I intellectually know I’m capable of being somewhat productive, yeah it bothers me.
3)People see me, and it lowers their expectations of me, which I dislike
4)Take up space
That feeling of emptiness that most working people say hits them when they have been at home for two months or so, did you have that? Did it pass?
Never had it.
Do you feel you have to justify your position? To others? To yourself?
Nope.
What do you do with your time?
Read STD, watch curling, read a lot (New Yorker, Scientific America, American Scientist, NY Review of Books, science fiction/fantasy, science books) and, above all, do mathematics research. I am also TeX editor for an online math journal.
Anything else you can share?
I am still, after 49 years, in love with my wife and I enjoy visiting my three kids.
