Non-U.S. Dopers: What Are Typical "American" Traits?

[Cat_Whisperer]

I take it back - this is what we are all like.

[ChrisBooth12]

I am an American here but it seems to me most Europeans tend to mind their own business more then Americans do. For example I went to europe with a group of people on while we were in Paris I believe we were walking and this guy came and grabbed this womens purse from her shoulder and took off. Many people were around but most kept walking like they didnt even notice something. Two people I was with took off instantly after him and caught up and got the purse back. Anyways a cop happen to see this and caught up to the people I was with and started speaking to them in english before they spoke first. He said he figured an american would do something like that. Dont know if its a good thing or a bad thing but its something i witnessed

[pravnik]

@Walpurgis

So, in short: All American guys seem like they’re hitting on you, but don’t let it get to your head. They’re just being polite.

That is a lovely font! Is that a new keyboard?

[Hello_Again]

@ChrisBooth12

I am an American here but it seems to me most Europeans tend to mind their own business more then Americans do. For example I went to europe with a group of people on while we were in Paris I believe we were walking and this guy came and grabbed this womens purse from her shoulder and took off. Many people were around but most kept walking like they didnt even notice something. Two people I was with took off instantly after him and caught up and got the purse back. Anyways a cop happen to see this and caught up to the people I was with and started speaking to them in english before they spoke first. He said he figured an american would do something like that. Dont know if its a good thing or a bad thing but its something i witnessed

Interesting. I agree, Americans tend to believe a crime in a public place is everybody’s business. As an American, this seems to me to be a self-evident “good thing.”. Like, on the NYC subway, if some guy grabs your ass and you speak up about it, other passengers will generally offer to pound him for you (men AND women). I’ve heard of ass/boob gropers being forcibly ejected from the train by other passengers. Frontier justice, I suppose.

[Ximenean]

There are similar sounding incidents in every part of the world. There was a story here a few weeks ago of some guy who got run down in Cleveland or Philapdelphia or somewhere, and passers by just kept on passing by, nobody stopped.
It’s all just anecdotal unless you can point to some solid evidence.

[ChrisBooth12]

^^ I know what you are referring to it was used as an example on shoot now i forget the term. it was the “some guys name” effect where people tend to do what they see other people do. The police where called those by a passerby its not like no one did anything

[kalmia_latifolia]

a guy on the subway in philly was clawed by another guy with a hammer recently. is that the story?

also, with regards to:

originally Posted by CairoCarol
Apologies for not reading this entire thread before posting. It’s fascinating and I’m enjoying it; if I had more time I’d savor it all.

Now, an answer from an Indonesian I know well. He observed that Americans, unlike Indonesians, when parting, don’t say “goodbye” and then leave. It goes more like this:

A: Okay, see you later, thanks for coming over.
B: Yeah, bye, I’ll see you next week.
A: Right, at the party next week. Oh, what time does that party start again?
B: I think around 6, but I’ll have to ask Susan.
A: Susan! Did you see what she did to her hair?
B: I know, isn’t it hilarious? Oh well, she can wear it anyway she wants. Well, gotta run, if I don’t hurry I’ll be late to picking my son up from soccer practice. By the way, did you hear, they have a new coach?
A: No, I hadn’t. What happened to the last one?
B: Oh, long story … I’ll tell you about it some other time.
A: Alright then, bye-bye.
B: Bye, have fun tomorrow at Tom’s. Wish I could go.
A: Oh gosh, I almost forgot about that. Well, Tom’s a nice guy, I always like going there.
B: He sure is, have you met his new wife?
A: Yeah, she’s a piece of work. Well, anyway, I know you have to get your son, so I’ll let you go … see you later.
B: Okay, bye. I disagree with you about his wife, though.
A: What? Oh, I didn’t know you were her friend, sorry.

Etc. After about five more instances of saying “bye” and “see you later,” eventually the two will part.

I never noticed this habit of Americans until the Indonesian pointed it out. Now I see it is true.

I believe that this is a midwestern thing more than anything else.

[Harmonious_Discord]

@Springtime_for_Spacers

Online I’ve found Americans can be really really touchy, very quick to see insults where none is intended. Not so much on message boards but in IM chat during online games. I’ve had people flare up because they’re convinced that I was being sarcastic when all I said was “nice move” and meant it.

That would be because when that’s said during competition in America, it’s normally meant offensively. It’s sarcasm and means you probably couldn’t have done worse if you intended to. Think of it as nice move. Dumbass!

[5-HT]

@Hello_Again

Interesting. I agree, Americans tend to believe a crime in a public place is everybody’s business. As an American, this seems to me to be a self-evident “good thing.”. Like, on the NYC subway, if some guy grabs your ass and you speak up about it, other passengers will generally offer to pound him for you (men AND women). I’ve heard of ass/boob gropers being forcibly ejected from the train by other passengers. Frontier justice, I suppose.

On the news today here in detroit, a gas station was robbed at gun point. As the robber made his escape, another customer pulled a gun out of his pants and started firing at his car.

I’m unable to really come up with the correct way to respond to this incident, other than to say “that’s detroit as fuck.”

[An_Gadai]

@ChrisBooth12

^^ I know what you are referring to it was used as an example on shoot now i forget the term. it was the “some guys name” effect where people tend to do what they see other people do. The police where called those by a passerby its not like no one did anything

Bystander effect?

[An_Gadai]

@featherlou

I take it back - this is what we are all like.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x496a_i-am-a-newfie_fun

[HMS_Irruncible]

@put_down_the_sabre

Nice theory, and it may account for some of it - but many of the examples I’m holding in my head of this are other people on my grad programme, who are from most of the United States. People from California seem particularly prone to this, somehow.

I’m not talking about a gentle conversation starter, I’m talking about…
Me: Hello, [asks for his coffee or whatever]
Them: [gives coffee] So where are you from?
Me: The UK
Them: Oh I went to Oxford once, stayed in London … [go on and on and on].

I understand what you’re saying here; this phenomenon seems in particular a plague of upper-middle-class WASP girls. To an American like me, it comes off as an endless game of travel one-upmanship that all-too-often makes an unfortunate detour through her sexual resumé from the summer in France to whatever exothnicity she’s currently shagging.

But really, I hope you’ll go easy on those who are only trying to find a bit of common ground with someone unfamiliar. What would you have someone do, proceed directly to self-deprecation regarding their role in the current state of world affairs? I see people do that as well, and I find it an equally irritating backhanded way of trying to ingratiate oneself.

[Nava]

@Tom_Tildrum

This is a good point – presumably Italian men are less likely to pinch women while traveling in other countries, for instance.

And both Italians and Spaniards in Prague move rapidly from our usual mode of “jump into the subway almost through the people getting off, stay as close to the door as possible - if for some reason you decide to take a seat, dash to it as if a pack of wolves was on your heels, radiating more agression than a dozen hooligans whose team just lost” to “let other people walk out, leisurely get on, walk to a seat and sit down.” You can tell the new arrivals by how they rush on

[put_down_the_sabre]

@Cosmic Relief

I understand what you’re saying here; this phenomenon seems in particular a plague of upper-middle-class WASP girls. To an American like me, it comes off as an endless game of travel one-upmanship that all-too-often makes an unfortunate detour through her sexual resumé from the summer in France to whatever exothnicity she’s currently shagging.

But really, I hope you’ll go easy on those who are only trying to find a bit of common ground with someone unfamiliar. What would you have someone do, proceed directly to self-deprecation regarding their role in the current state of world affairs? I see people do that as well, and I find it an equally irritating backhanded way of trying to ingratiate oneself.

I think you’re exactly right, here - the problem is that the person in question doesn’t seem that interested in talking to me as a person, rather in just using me as a vehicle (for their “I’m so international” spiel or whatever).

Americans who immediately start criticising America for its role in world affairs and apologising for it are equally annoying though - what some other foreigners and I refer to as ‘self-hating Americans’. Firstly, they’re an instance of what I mentioned at the start - American exceptionalism. But secondly, it’s clear that they don’t really see you as a person. Yes, I speak with a foreign accent… but that’s really not the most important thing about me, and you’re really showing how sheltered you’ve been when it obviously sticks out at you like a sore thumb.

This may offend some people here, but it’s the conclusion I and others have come to: the Americans you meet in Europe are often loud, self-aggrandising dicks. The Americans you meet in the US who immediately tell you all about their trip to Europe/passion for der Spiegel/fluency in language X or whatever, at tedious length, are usually the same. The good, cool Americans, the ones who make it worth living here, see you as a person and talk to you as an individual, and not as some icon of their insecurities. Often, they will discuss with you their trip to the UK when you know them a bit better, and that’s absolutely fine (that’s probably when I’ll tell them about my trip to Seattle in tedious detail).

I think it would surprise many self-consciously ‘international’ Americans to realise that they are viewed as the annoying ones by many foreigners. Same deal in Japan - those Japanese who ‘studied abroad’ and want to go on about it annoy the tits off people, but those who are regular, fun people and want to talk to you about random shit… everybody loves 'em!

pdts

[Laughing_Lagomorph]

@Kyla

Yeah, that. I specifically remember a story about a guy in New Mexico who wanted to buy tickets to some events at the Atlanta Olympics and could NOT get them to believe that New Mexico is part of the US. They kept telling him that he needed to buy his tickets through his home country’s IOC or whatever.

There’s a Facebook group called Yes, New Mexico is a state, thank you very much!

Here’s an NPR story about people not knowing that New Mexico is a state. The story refers to New Mexico Magazine’s monthly bit on New Mexicans having trouble convincing other people that they are, in fact, Americans, One of Our Fifty Is Missing.

Pretty embarrassing.

I had a former co-worker who was married to a guy whose family was from New Mexico. She told me they routinely had employees of the US Postal Service tell them they needed extra postage on packages and letters they would try to mail from Boston to New Mexico because it wasn’t part of the US.

Re: Massachusetts as a commonwealth vs. a state: I have lived in MA for more than 20 years and I still don’t get why this (officially being a commonwealth vs. a state) is so important to some people. It is functionally equivalent to a state and it still throws me when the Governor gives his State of the Commonwealth (rather than State of the State) address.

Really, it is always “the 50 US states”, not “the 46 US states and the four commonwealths”.

[Cat_Whisperer]

@An_Gadai

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x496a_i-am-a-newfie_fun

That’s beauty, eh?

[Skylark]

I consider myself a Texan not an American (we’re only begrudgingly part of that cursed Union…), but I have made one observations this week.

Staying in Gulfport/Biloxi this week. Lived in this state before, but it’s reminded me. Mississippi has the friendliest drivers but the worst customer service anywhere.

[dgrdfd]

@Walpurgis

Almost all American men I’ve met have been way too friendly for comfort, both physically and verbally. Physically, they stand or sit too close (The Swedish comfort zone seems to be much bigger). Verbally, it’s the constant compliments: “You look beautiful today!” or “That is a lovely dress” (I know it sounds lame, but I couldn’t think of any better examples).

Now… in Sweden, a guy only does this if he wants to give you the sexy, and even then it’s considered a bit embarrassing. To get this from someone’s American boyfriend or relative feels very awkward.

I’ve talked about it with a couple of American guys who have been in Scandinavia for an extended time. They both said that there was usually no intention of hitting on anyone, but that they were just being friendly and polite. They had heard the same complaint from several Scandinavian friends, and learned to act accordingly.

So, in short: All American guys seem like they’re hitting on you, but don’t let it get to your head. They’re just being polite.

As a 24 year old male I have to say I have never seen this. The only people I have ever seen tell a women she is beautiful or has a lovely dress has been:

1. woman
2. gay man
3. hetero man who wants to insert penis in you

I couldn’t imagine walking up to my buddies wife and saying “You look really beautiful tonight” without getting strange stares from people and bursts of laughter. I think they Americans you met most definitely wanted to bang. Or maybe everyone I know is weird and doesn’t throw those types of compliments around that often?

[dgrdfd]

@dgrdfd

As a 24 year old male I have to say I have never seen this. The only people I have ever seen tell a women she is beautiful or has a lovely dress has been:

1. woman
2. gay man
3. hetero man who wants to insert penis in you

I couldn’t imagine walking up to my buddies wife and saying “You look really beautiful tonight” without getting strange stares from people and bursts of laughter. I think they Americans you met most definitely wanted to bang. Or maybe everyone I know is weird and doesn’t throw those types of compliments around that often?

I guess I really should have qualified that by saying that I was referring to a man telling a woman this whom was not already his girlfirend/wife. I was thinking of people who only casually know each other as friends but nothing already intimate.

[constanze]

@woodstockbirdybird

I don’t mean stereotypes or movie/TV portrayals - in other words, I’m not looking for stuff along the lines of “The Irish sure do like to drink” or “The French are all pretentious and arty”. More based on your personal interactions with Americans - what are some of our characteristics you notice, behaviors that seem quintessentially “American”? For example, in my travels, I’ve noticed there are definitely cultural factors that tend to give people elements of what I associate with a “National Character” - the Irish people I met were extremely friendly and self-effacing, very down-to-earth, Australians similarly open-hearted and laid-back, etc. So, how do we come across when you meet us in a pub or whatever? Should I continue to tell people I’m Canadian when I travel overseas, or is the image of us as rude, loud and self-centered more a media creation?

First, why do you want to know? Because if I give you a serious answer, it’s going to be lengthy and honest (that is, brutal) - I don’t know if you want to hear that.

Second, you know that it’s a bit of a contradiction? No stereotypes, but generalizing about people we know or have met have in common … comes out pretty close to stereotypes.
The people I know personally or close from much reading/writing on the net, I don’t think “Jim is loud/obnoxious because he’s American, Hans is always 10 min. early because he wants to be punctual, because he’s German etc.”. I think of them as individual characteristics. For each trait I can tell you, there are dozens of Americans that don’t do that (but many do), and with some digging, I know Germans who share many of the obnoxious traits or ideas, too (but it’s not what I’d typically expect.)

Thirdly, are you interested in impressions about tourists (because you say travelling abroad) or Americans in general (e.g. when talking on a message board)? Because there are different behaviours and attitudes there.