None of my business, but...geeze

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

This morning, my husband I were chatting about a co-worker of his, and the travails this co-worker is going through.

The co-worker has been working on building a house. The house suffered major damage in a big windstorm last winter, so he basically lost any progress he’d made on it.

He’s basically been working on it, but now it needs to be done by the end of this year, or he’ll have to start paying big penalties on the loan.

The co-worker is the only breadwinner in the family, and money is starting to get tight. The obvious answer is for the wife to go out and get a job to help bring in a little money. She is fully capable of working and there are no childcare issues.

Her solution is for her husband to go to Iraq and work as a truck driver over there. This way she won’t have to work. Yes, she really said this. He doesn’t want to do this, and who can blame him?

When my husband told me this, I was just floored. I cannot believe the selfishness of this woman. I know both of these people, and have for quite a few years. She has never wanted to work. I wasn’t floored because she didn’t want to work, but because she wants to send her husband to someplace where he could possibly be freakin’ killed to earn “big” money. :mad: :frowning:

I know this is none of my business, but I am just appalled. We don’t have much contact with them on a social level, but now I don’t want any contact with her at all. The husband is a nice guy, and I like him. She’s a whole different story. I’ve never much cared for her. Even my husband says she perpetually has a look on her face that indicates she just ate a lemon.

This is too lame to pit, and I’m not really asking for opinions. I guess I’m just trying to wrap my mind around how someone could be this callous about the safety of her husband. I don’t get it, I just don’t.

I know some folks are willing to take risks like this, and if they are, that’s their business. I know our military are suffering over there everyday. However, contractors are killed there too.

2

If I were him I would be looking for a way out of the marriage. She doesn’t want to work? And there are no kids? WTF? If you aren’t pulling your weight you’re just dragging everybody else down.

3

There are kids, but, there would be someone to watch them. I guess I should have made that more clear in my OP.

By the way, I agree with you, but I guess he loves her.

4

Um, wow. Does she not realize he could get killed over there? She’d really rather him live apart from his family and work in a dangerous place than her get a job?

Some people are just incomprehensible.

5

Sounds like it’s a one-way street, though…

6

Other than it sounds more like a suicide mission than a marriage. I wonder about this.

Just curious. Not so much about your neighbors predicament, but in general.

I did a re-fi on my house 5 years ago. To do an addition. It’s not done yet (permit and inspection wise) but the lender could care less about that. I’m paying my mortgage, that’s all they care about.

7

I’m not sure about the ins and outs of his construction loan. He’d been working on the house for quite some time before the storm.

I do know there are some construction loans that require you have X amount of work done by a certain time, or have the construction done by a certain time.

There is a difference between a construction loan, and a mortgage/re-fi loan.

I only know this because my Dad built a house a few years ago. Again, I’m not really knowledgeable of the specifics. I do remember my Dad saying he had to have the house completed in a certain timeframe, though.

8

Perhaps that’s the idea. Does he have a hefty life insurance policy, too? I’m betting he does. Some people really are that evil and greedy. At the very least, the wife sounds very narcissistic, but I wouldn’t rule out evil and greedy, either.

9

Nah, his life insurance policy isn’t that big.

He works for the same company as my husband. Driving a semi is apparently considered a risky job, therefore the life insurance isn’t that great.

10

Construction loans are generally for the planned duration of the construction, plus a little extra for breathing room on either side, say 12 months total (at least that’s standard for our institution.) You can do one, maybe two extensions if you can justify it, like a wind storm causing damage to the house, but it should get done.

11

You misspelled “reprehensible.” :smiley:

I guess he and his wife have an agreement where she doesn’t have to work, but when life gets in the way and you have new circumstances, sometimes you have to re-visit existing agreements. And sending your husband off to a dangerous place so you don’t have to do something most adults have to do usually isn’t on the table.

12

I hate to say this but she sounds EVIL. Why the heck did they marry? Doesn’t sound like love to me.

13

If he goes ti Iraq, who is gonna work on the house?

14

The Ira

15

The Iraq truck driving scheme isn’t as viable as it once was, and there were restrictions from the beginning. First, you have to have experience. If you leave early, for whatever reason, there are penalties that take out most of the profit. Even if you qualify and get accepted it’s only 80 grand a year. Doesn’t sound like a solution to me, more like some whacky idea she dreamed up.

16

Yes, I know there are restrictions. He is an experienced driver, having driven a semi (still driving) for years.

As to the money thing, that’s why I put quotes around the word big in my OP, when I referenced “big” money.

We had a former neighbor check into it, and that was three years ago. Even then there were several restrictions, and, I’m sorry, $80,000 just isn’t worth possibly losing your life over. Frankly, there is no amount of money that would be worth losing my husband or anyone I know.

“Reprehensible” is a perfect word.

17

Wait a minute, there ARE kids, but there aren’t child care issues? What – are they caged in the basement or something?

18

Childcare is available to them. Most of the kids are older anyway (12 and over).

She simply doesn’t WANT to work. The few times she’s actually gotten a job, she’d quit in less than a month.

19

With a wife like that, I’d cancel my life insurance. She might suddenly decide she needs a large cash supply to solve her problems, and I’d be worth more dead than alive – to her.

20

To go a bit off-topic, the truck driving thing is not a good deal. The reason it pays about 80K a year is that is the limit on tax-free overseas income. So $80K is worth about $120K in US earnings. If you are single, you box up the apartment, give away your cat, go to Iraq and let the money roll in. No expenses, big paychecks.

But you might get hurt. Truck drivers get hurt all the time, even without people shooting at you. Do you really trust some company like Triple Canopy to cover lifetime care for a serious injury? Fat chance.

All in all, it is much too dangerous for a married man, and pretty marginal for a single one.