Norfolk police warn of alarming clown epidemic

I know we have some international Dopers here so I just wanted to spread the word. Fortunately, The Guardian is on the job.

Man, sometimes I wish I was British.

Regular person on the street? Ignore the clown.

Internationally-wanted drug kingpin? RUN AWAY!

Shakes, is that you?

Nice of them to offer a warning. If I encountered a clown just wandering around loose, I’d assume nobody else could see it and ignore it diligently. With a heads-up, I’d feel free to run away screaming, which is the only sensible reaction to random clowns.

A clown apocalypse is even more dangerous than a zombie apocalypse. Clowns are faster, they have bigger feet, and they are able to cram themselves into impossibly tight spaces.

I feel I should point out that in Anhk Moorpork they know how to handle mimes.

Certainly worse than a grandmapocalypse.

There was a clown doing stuff like this in Britain somewhere a couple months ago - it popped upon Fortean Times. He would lurk and do stuff like wave at people in cars or busses. I don’t remember him being reported chasing anybody though.