This Thursday, I’m going in to have a gum graft done (the first of two). Today, I had to go in and get a cleaning and to have a mold made of the roof of my mouth.
The mold will be used to make a retainer to cover the area where the tissue for the graft will be removed.
Unfortunately (for the dentist and his crew), I have a bad gag reflex. The assistant comes in with a basket of metal molds that looked like they were transported through time from the Dark Ages.
She mixed up a big cup of goop that looked like concrete ice cream. She proceeded to jam the vile jelly into my mouth. I gagged twice, but was able to contain my bile for the two minutes required for the mold to set. I gagged once before she removed it. While removing it, I swore she was going to pull out all of my upper teeth.
Well, that nightmare finally ended and I was sent out to the waiting room. A few minutes later, I was beckoned back to have my teeth cleaned. Originally, Thursday’s surgery was to be on the lower teeth, but there was a scheduling goof and they’re now going to do the upper two teeth. No problem. They’ll have to do both eventually and this procedure will only take about 90 minutes.
I naturally assumed they were only going to clean the teeth that were to be repaired.
HAH!
Boy, was I wrong. This female Dr. Szell proceeded to do a complete cleaning.
My usual hygienist will use the pokey-stabby things, followed by a polishing and flossing.
Dr. Szell decided to use the Ultrasonic Tooth Blaster 3000. It didn’t hurt so much as the high pitched whine of a million angry bees resonated through my skull.
After what seemed to be a short eternity, she put away the UTB3K. Now, she said, I’ll polish your teeth.
My regular hygienist uses a rotary tool with a buffing attachment and some chalky “cherry” flavored abrasive.
Not so, Dr. Szell. She whips out a the UTB3K’s little brother, the Gum Slicer 3000B replete with Baking Soda Action! I’ve seen 50-yr-old sidewalks cleaned with less power.
After a slightly longer eternity, I don’t have whirring death machines jammed into my gaping piehole anymore.
I would have been able to take all this a little better had the good Doktor been in the least bit friendly. I’d gotten used to my usual hygienist making small talk.
In retrospect, I have to say that I do have a lot of respect for anyone in this field. It’s a nasty job, I’m sure, but there is a lot to be said for bed, uh, chairside manner.