hello everyone,
well this is a problem my boyfriend has. he is not circumcised. and he is 20 now. last week we tried to have sex. but it hurts him whenevr i move the skin backwards. he says he has never pulled it backwards before and it hurts him whenever i try to put the head of the penis out from the skin. Do u guys know wht to do abt this??
He’s 20? I’m uncut, and by that age I’d been pulling it for years! (TMI, but how could I resist that line?)
Seriously, skin stretches more easily with practice. Your help would probably make the exercise more fun. He could also see his doctor for an exam and maybe a little snip to loosen things up. I don’t know what else the doc might recommend, but it can’t be a unique problem.
Good luck!
If it’s not comfortable for him to roll the foreskin back when he’s unaroused, then there’s a problem, and he should see a doctor. Embarassing, yes. But what’s the alternative? And it’s not that embarassing, becasuse doctors are trained specifically for dealing with such sensitive issues.
I second the doctor exam. He sounds like he has foreskin stenosis (phimosis) which make it very painful to try to retract the foreskin, and this would probably need some sort of intervention to correct. It’s pretty uncommon to be unable to retract the foreskin after adolescence
http://fpnotebook.com/URO80.htm
QtM, MD
It’s called phimosis. I’m not posting any links because the sites I pulled up seem to be very biased one way or the other on diagnosis, treatment, etc. but as others have noted skin stretches. A doctor can help him stretch the skin appropriately, or may recommend partial or total circumcision.
Although…
I had the same problem - foreskin only goes back during sex and hurts like fuck. A doctor will operate if your boyfriend really wants them to but I decided I didn’t want anyone messing with my crown jewels so I struggled manfully through it.
First few times it hurt like crazy after sex (although you don’t notice it during actual sex coz you’ve got other things on your mind) but after a while it stretched and stopped hurting.
So my advice to him would be: before you start seeing doctors and having them cutting things off, be a man, bear the pain and see what happens. It may well get better the more sex you have.
So basically my advice is to have as much sex as possible as often as possible. And also, sex while slightly drunk anaesthatises you to a large extent. I should become a doctor - with medical advice like that, I’d be the most popular doc in town.
Follow Gorilla Man’s, Otto’s and Dr. Quagdop’s advise and have him get checked out. Look for an MD who is up to date on the latest. The solution can be as simple as stretches + a prescritpion steroid cream to make the process easier (brute force is not something you really want to try in that region) or as complex as a surgery to “let it out” like a tight pair of pants. The former is much slower, of course, but the later, I’m informed, is no walk in the park – and either one is much better done while he’s still young-ish, so you actually have helped him discover something that should be taken care of sooner rather than later.
As to how come this only gets noticed now – well, a boy can give himself pleasure w/o retraction, and any person will naturally do things in such way as does not cause even momentary, transient pain; if you add to that how it’s very likely for an average hetero boy to never really “compare notes” on technique with other boys, whatever he was doing probably seemed the normal and natural thing to him at the time. And though “practice” can lead to stretching, well, this is not exactly the kind of thing that average-boy up and says, “Mom, Dad, could you take me to the doctor? It hurts when I try to beat off”.
Actually, I had almost this exact same problem when I was young. I noticed that the area around the foreskin would hurt when I was streching before running. Basically, if you don’t regularly pull the foreskin back it seems to adhere to the glans very strongly, which will really hurt when pulled (think about waxing your legs, only do it with superglue and do it on your clitoris). He also did something (don’t recall what) that cleared it up pretty much right away. It may have been tender for a week, but it passes quickly.
The Mayo Clinic has an article on circumcision at Link
Reading this article, there seems to be more benefits for circumcision than not, although there may be some loss of sensitivity. If there are measurable and positive health benefits to being circumcised, why doesn’t nature make everyone circumcised right out of the womb? Why hasn’t the foreskin evolved away? What exactly is its purpose?
It hasn’t evolved away because there’s really no selection against it. In the wild, cancer in general is rare (a disease primarily of old age) and penile cancer even less so. The rest of the differences between the two are largely because the foreskin can provide a cozy nesting ground for germs, especially since it’s tucked away behind two layers of clothing most of the time these days. These differences can be offset by teaching your child to wash his penis properly. Of course, we’re so neurotic about sex in this society that we’d rather take knives to all our male children than teach them to wash their genitals.
As for it’s purpose, without clothing around all the time the exposed glans would get very irritated. Frankly, I don’t know how circumcised men can deal with it rubbing against the inside of their underwear all the time.
Hmmm, maybe that’s why circumcised men are said to have less sensitivity?
Originally posted by Mathochist:
The body adapts. I believe the glans penis starts out as unkeratinized skin (like the lips, labia, anus, and areolas) and tends to become keratinized (like normal skin) over time in circumcised men. I remember that my glans was much more sensitive as a boy than it is now.
I was in exactly the same position as your bf. I was able to pull the skin back fine when unaroused, but with an erection it was impossible and painful. I masturbated without pulling that bit of skin which went over the top!
I saw a few doctors, many of which refused to believe that there was a problem as, unsurprisingly, I didn’t have an erection when they looked at it!
In the end, I had an unsuccessful frenulectomy (where they cut the little web of skin attaching the glans to the foreskin) and, following that, a full circumcision. The glans was sensitive for a few weeks after - but nothing compared to the bruising of the operation itself, which was done under local anaesthetic. That said, everything is fine now and I just wish I’d got it sorted sooner. I was 23 when the operation was finally done.
I hope this helps. I think it’s one of those things that guys are often embarrassed about and I don’t actually think it’s that uncommon. Find a doctor he can trust and talk to - it’s embarrasing but worth it in the end.
Hope it all works out - if you have any questions I’ll be happy to try and help!
J.
Um, not to go off topic here, but if your bf has never pulled it back, you might want to reconsider oral sex with him. Every uncut guy should know, it is incredibly important to roll it back when cleaning. If he’s never done this, I can’t imagine what’s growing under there!
Yup I can second that - I would have been I guess around 10 or 11, just pre-puberty anyway and had never been told about cleaning behind the foreskin properly. Anyway (this is pretty gross to recall) I had some discomfort down there, like a burning sensation, and when checked out it just proved to be a really rank disgusting build up of smegma. The doc had to swab it out gradually (I bet he *really * enjoyed that day at work :rolleyes: ) and clean it up - then I got the stern lecture about personal hygene!!
Worked though - and all my girlfriends have appreciated it being presented “as clean as a whistle” ("…You know how to whistle don’t you? All you do is put your lips together and blow" 
)
Erm, whoops! I forgot in all that story-telling the point I wanted to make. Don’t scare the shit out of your boyfriend that he is necessarily going to have to have a small op to sort the problem. It might just be it is all clogged up. When I had the problem outlined below the foreskin could not be pulled back and it wasn’t obvious, well totally obvious anyway, what the problem was.
Yes, THAT is very important – contrary to popular belief, not all doctors are knife-happy on this issue. It could be – IIRC most of the time is – something that requires minimal if any invasiveness.
If it isn’t a medical condition, it sounds like it may just be that he’s never pulled it back. When I was about 12, my foreskin was fused onto my glans because it had never come back. Over the course of a few weeks, in a warm bath, I was gradually able to get it further and further off the glans, until one day it came back completely. Behind it was ossified ‘pearlescent’ smegma - stuff that would scratch a plate-glass window. Thankfully it all just fell off into the bath, unlike notquitekarpov’s experience. Once this had happened, I was able to move the foreskin up and down with no pain at all. Indeed, for the next few years I made sure to do this vigorously on a very regular basis.
Please don’t follow this advice! While I agree that not cutting what doesn’t need cutting is for the best, don’t tell him to be a man and deal with it. Tearing the foreskin can lead to scarring that makes the problem worse, effects sensitivity, etc. I’d see the doc, and look into instructions for stretching it properly, since that’s a lot more minor than getting anything lopped off.
This comes as an uncut guy who values his foreskin (and as a queer who values it on other guys as well.)
Jojo’s medical advice is extremely bad, and inappropriate for this condition, unless recommended by a competent physician, and then only after a thorough examination. Please disregard it. Following Jojo’s advice could endanger both one’s sex organ and one’s life.
He should see his doctor.
QtM, MD