I think that as with all things you can decide with a little information if he needs to see a doctor or not. Do you know how a foreskin works? I don’t really know, but it seems like you do. Basically, as I see it, the problem could be that his skin is too tight to allow the penis to pass through when it is erect. Or the problem could be like the others mentioned that he hasn’t had good hygene habits. What isn’t clear is if he can’t pull it back only when he is erect (where I think it would be the tightness factor), or if he can’t ever pull it back, where I would go with the guess that the foreskin is “glued” to the glans from the …secretions. If that is the case, then I would be a little scared! Let him soak in a warm bath for about 3 days if that is true! But in case you didn’t know skin stretches and gets bigger, and it doesn’t retract because new skin cells grow in where skin is stretched. Like the previous poster mentioned there is a group of people attempting to stretch part of their penis skin to replace what was cut off at birth. I suppose the best advice to use is just to use good judgement and see a doctor if necessary.
jojo, your “medical advice” was to be a man and ignore the pain, use alcohol as an anesthetic, and have as much sex as possible. That is bad medical advice no matter how you slice it. And frankly, it’s a set-up for a paraphimosis, which can happen in said situations, even tho that’s not the most common mechanism. It has and does happen thru trying too hard to retract the foreskin. Your approach is also a recipe for foreskin lacerations, hemorrhage, and infection.
I’m all for hot soaks, gentle stretching, cleaning, making sure the doctor involved knows what a foreskin is all about (I do), and educating oneself about the issue. But I remain adamantly opposed to the advice you gave.
And if you do become a doctor, you will then be appalled by the treatment plan you have endorsed here.
QtM, MD
(who already this week dealt with two patients unable to retract their foreskins)
I still hold to my position that having sex will not make your dick drop off.
This foreskin problem is a complaint that (I suspect) has been common throughout the history of mankind. While there is a tiny risk of paraphimosis I contend that this risk is insignificant, especially when dealing with a 20 year old healthy male as in this case.
Just to be clear, you are saying that if a young healthy male suffers from an excessively tight foreskin on his first sexual experience he should refrain from any further sex and immediately go and see a doctor.
I am saying that he should try sex a few more times and see if it gets better before he goes to see a doctor. He shouldn’t worry overmuch about paraphimosis because there is practically zero chance he’s going to get it. And alcohol does act to anaesthetise pain - it may not be the ideal, medically prescribed drug but you can’t deny that it does have that effect.
Are you saying that all the millions of people who suffered from this problem (before modern medicine) all had dicks that dropped off? I think most of them just worked through the problem.
And Excalibre, don’t be such a drama queen. It’s perfectly ok to discuss issues with other posters and to question them. I have made my credentials clear - I have none. I’m not pretending to be medically qualified and then dishing out advice. I’m just giving my opinion and explaining why I think what I do. I don’t think I’m breaching any board rules.
But anyway, to the OP - ignore my advice and go with what Qadgop said. I think he’s overreacting in this case but that’s just my uninformed opinion.
What I said was that in a situation where he has never been able to retract his foreskin, and attempts at sex are painful, the wrong thing to do is to get drunk, ignore the pain, and force the issue. It’s unlikely that he’d find success after a few attempts of sex with a partner if years of handling it himself have not yet enabled him to retract his foreskin. Risks far, far outweigh benefits.
That’s why I recommended a doc visit. Not automatically for surgery, but for evaluation and treatment! This can include soaks, stretching, prescription cream to lyse adhesions, or anything from minimal to major surgery, as indicated.
Look, I’ve done this. I’ve done both infant and adult circumcisions in my career. I’ve seen 3 paraphimoses too. One was from an self-attempt to retract the foreskin in a young adult. He got to keep his penis. So did one other guy. The third one didn’t. (He was pretty much done with it anyway, sadly). And I hate cutting on turgid penises. They’re just so damn bloody!
Yes but in all the years of me handling my dick, it never once retracted (when erect) until the day I lost my virginity. I didn’t even know it was supposed to retract - it was just never an issue.
From reading the OP, it sounded to me like the boyfriend had a similar problem. That he just realised that his foreskin retracts during sex, he was never aware of it before. Women seem to have some kind of ridge around their vagina that pulls the foreskin back. My foreskin never, ever retracts (when erect) except during sex.
I agree that if this is a problem the boyfriend has been aware of for some time then he should see a doctor. But if this is the first time it’s happened (and it happened because it was the first time he’s had sex) then it might be worth giving sex a few more tries to see if it stretches.
I think this is probably a common (temporary) problem among uncircumcised men. All I remember of my first few sexual experiences is that they were extremely painful. It got better.
Don’t give me that. We all know the only reason you guys go into the profession is so you get to saw on turgid, blood soaked penises.
Jojo, please do not offer potentially harmful medical advice on these boards. Even if, conceivably, the chances of harm being done might be low, we’d rather such advice not be offered here.
You may post your experiences on the topic, but please do not offer it as advice to other members.
Excalibre, your post is out of line for GQ. Do not repeat this.
Jojo, do not copy/paste entire articles from other websites. Please read the FAQ and the Registration Agreement carefully before you make your next post.
You have both been warned.
If this thread requires me to moderate it again, I’m going to have to lock it. Please post responsibly.
The way I read it, Jojo, was that the incident mentioned in the OP would have been his “first time” had he been able to bear it – but it was just too painful. In any case, I believe people may have felt a bit goaded by the line about “taking it like a man”. Enduring pain bravely is out of style in the health field, nobody’s handing out medals.
(Y’know, stuff like this thread and others dealing with penile matters, plus my own experience, tells me that even in the “developed world” we males have been going thru our adolescences pathetically uneducated about what the heck is to be expected of our equipment. At least most girls can ask their mom or granny or auntie about “women’s stuff”. Can you imagine going “Dad, does my dick look normal to you?”)
Q for anyone who may know – would it be possible to engage in intercourse without retraction? After all, those of us whose phimoses did not resolve until late adolescence/adulthood were (mostly) able to, er “take things into our own hands” through early adolescence w/o achieving retraction. It seems to me it would be sort of like using a lambskin condom with a hole in it, only troublesome for the passive partner due to (a) the lubricating preseminal secretions beingn trapped uselessly on the underside and (b) hygienic issues, plus with a high risk of tearing; wouldn’t it?
My foreskin is quite long - it’s perfectly possible for me to be fully erect without any retraction. I’ve only ever had sex with a condom, which necessitates pulling back the foreskin to ensure a secure fit, but I can see no reason that regular sex would pose any problems.