Midnight Plowboy - A farmer’s dimwitted son completely misunderstands his father’s order to spend the weekend hoeing.
I’d buy a ticket.
I Am Legacy Will Smith provides the voice in this animated tale of the one remaining Subaru left on Earth.
Prides & Prejudice - The honeymooning Fitzwilliam and Elizabeth Darcy go on a romantic safari in Africa, with deadly results when two ravenous groups of lions find them in their tent late one night.
The League of Ordinary Gentlemen - A plumber, a bricklayer, a chimney sweep and a scrivener rather half-heartedly fight to protect Victorian England from a boring threat.
My Favorite Year of Living Dangerously - A callow but endearing TV network gofer gets caught up in Third World political intrigue.
The Patriot Games - Through the miracle of time travel, a soldier from the American Revolution and a present-day IRA gunman make common cause against their British oppressors in both eras.
Straight Outta Africa - L.A. gangstas disrupt the lives of a lonely farmwife and her pilot lover.
The Giant Iron: A behind the scenes look at an art installation featuring supersized household items
Deconstructing Henry: Musicologists, anthropologists, and critics get together for an in depth examination of the song “I’m Henry VIII I Am” (2 hrs.)
Nobody will be allowed to leave during the thrilling conclusion.
The Phantom Menace of the Opera - A sad & pathetic figure disrupts a producer’s efforts to stage a grand space opera. Starring Jar Jar Binks as the Phantom
Meet the Swiss Family Robinsons:
An inventor uses a time machine to go back in time and meet the Robinsons. Boredom ensues.
A Funny Thing Happened On the Way to the Penthouse Forum: T.M.I.
Goatbusters: “I am Vince Clortho, Keymaster of Goatser”
Starch Wars – It’s Frito Lay against Jays to see who will dominate the galaxy’s snack trade.
Next Friday the 13th. - Deebo, who was raped in jail until he died, comes back to haunt Day-Day and his family. He gets killed when Craig drives a blunt-laden stake through his head.
Dennis the Phantom Menace: an annoying little kid brings about the collapse of the Old Republic due to his constant harassment of his neighbor, the future Darth Wilson.
The White Goddess – Ramar of the Jungle and friends try to puzzle out Robert Graves’ treatise on Mythology and the Origin of the Alphabet. No one under an I.Q. of 200 admitted without a Mensa member.
Aeon Flux Capacitor - Doc Brown and Marty McFly get more than they bargained for when a sexy freedom fighter comes back in time to ask for their help.
Comcast Away - A man is stranded on a remote island without a good wireless connection.
*Flubber Biscuit *- An absent-minded inventor is forced to close his family’s diner when the baked goods prove comedically inedible.
Flags of Our Fathers of the Bride - Even the invasion of Iwo Jima can’t stop Steve Martin’s daughter’s wedding plans from going forward.
American History XOXOXO - A skinhead convict falls for a teenage girl who writes love letters to him on pink stationery.
Magnificent Seven Brides for Seven Brothers- seven south-of-the-border lesbians trained in hand to hand combat and explosives come to the aid of seven Amish brothers unable due to their religion to defend themselves from bad guys in exchange for sperm donation and green card marriages.
Tyler Perry’s MEET THE BROWNS- M’dea falls through a time portal and winds up conspiring with abolitionist John Brown and his many children to raid Harper’s Ferry. She ends up taking over 4 states before shooting Brown herself when he calls her a giantess. Also features Emmanuel Lewis as a crack dealing elf, Maya Angelou as somebody old and distinguished and profound, and Rihanna as a battered woman who reconnects with her Christianity and finds an impossibly perfect and physically beautiful love interest.
Merkin Idol: Anything goes in the cutthroat world of competitive crotch wig weaving.
Lonesome Doug - A former Texas Ranger deals with unrequited love by punching cattle.
Enemy Mime: An astronaut is stranded on a deserted planet with a clone of Marcel Marceau.(Running time:10 min.)
Sallies of the Field - An itinerant handyman encounters a group of nuns who escaped East Germany by flying over the Berlin Wall.