Not Enough Lunatics on Long Island, Apparently.

The BBQ Pit
1

Now they’re shipping themselves in from Kansas!

Background: I’m an alumna of W.C. Mepham High School (class o’ 1997) - the same Mepham High that’s involved in the football sodomy scandal. I’m fucking horrified by the thought of what those JV kids went through; even more so (if that’s possible) now that I’m observing & interacting with a classroom of 9th graders on a daily basis. Some assholes in the community think that gee, it’s not that big a fucking deal; most others, I would venture to say, live life with their heads wholly removed from their asses & fully realize what the fuck the big deal is.

OK, so my point is this: Some religious group from Kansas is coming here to stage a protest. Why? Because according to these folks, the reason the alleged assailants forcibly sodomized the victims was because the school is both a little bit Sodom and a little bit Gommorah.

Yep, you read me right. They figure that the reason that the alleged attackers did what they did is because the school “promotes homosexuality” by way of the gay-straight alliance that is one of Mepham’s many after-school activities.

Silly me. Of course attraction to people of one’s own gender (& perhaps even sexual relationships with people of one’s own gender) leads to forcibly sexually assaulting someone!

Why didn’t I realize that??? The alleged perpetrators did what they did because the gay-straight alliance sent out conversion beams & turned them gay! It had nothing to do with the fact that they were, apparently, violent little fuckers with a sadistic streak a mile wide. Nope.

I imagine that these lunatics wouldn’t have had a problem if the varsity players had simply beaten the ever-loving shit out of the freshmen. Boys will, after all, be boys.

2

How did I just know that was going to be Phred Phelps and the Westboro Whackadoos before I even clicked the link?

3

I didn’t bother to click on the link, insofar as there are very few wackos that nutz in America, and that tilted the odds so much that the effort wasn’t worth it.

4

I thought maybe my psychic powers were finally developing.

Cosmopolitan, while your ire and outrage are certainly understandable, try not to stress too much. This is, after all, a group of people who would picket the Last Supper on the grounds that the apostles are leaning all over each other to gaze adoringly at Jesus.

5

I always had my suspicions about the Osmonds.

6

Marlitharn: Thanks - I know I shouldn’t get all worked up, but at the same time, I’m concerned that other (i.e. rational) people from across the country may be painting the residents of the area with the same brush.

Miller: Thanks for getting the joke! I realize that the Osmonds have nothing to do with this, but I didn’t feel like passing up the wisecrack.

7

Shit. Y’know, I was so riled that I didn’t even realize that these were Fred’s folks? Perhaps I should feel honored.

8

Look on the bright side, at least the former group who believe it’s not such a ‘big deal’ are blocking any golfball or pinecone intrusion with their heads. (I squirmed as I typed that - but it’s the pit and I’m leaving it in!)

Seriously though, part of the blame can be attributed to the news (Mainly: News 12 LI & to a lesser extent Newsday) - who run the same sensationalized stories day after day.

I think most people who are toeing the ‘No Biggie’ line are really just saying in effect, “All right already, enough about the story.” Remember the furor over the Massapequa baseball team who were going to titty bars while playing away games down in Fla? That’s probably contributing to people’s nonchalant attitude…even though it’s a mole-hill and mountain comparison.

Imagine their shock when they find out that Mepham, which may be a little Sodom & Gomorah by their standards, is really a whole lot more Naples & Haifa - even by Italian & Jewish standards. I doubt the fundies will make any more of an impact than a fart in a Nor’Easter.

If you think about it Cosmo, you don’t have took look nearly as far as Midwestern congregations to find preconceived notions that are accepted as fact, stereotypes that are perpetuated and pigeon-holing that occurs on a daily basis when it comes to (LI) suburbanites.

Quite a few of our NYC neighbors regard us as materialistic, homogenized, bland commuters who live in boxes and invented sprawl. (OK, I plead guilty on at least one of those counts)

Ron Kuby constantly refers to Long Island as White-Landia.

Rev. Al organizes a protest march at least once every other year or whenever he’s in need of press coverage.

All I’m saying is, don’t sweat it. The not gonna rile anyone’s feathers. I mean shit, I can barely get a reaction from the locals down at the bar when climb on my soapbox & bemoan all the big things - like taxes, traffic, no smoking in bars, et al.

Well, I’m finally done here at work & the weekend is upon me. I doubt I’ll give Rev. Phelps and is band of troggs any more thought 'til Monday. But if I do see any buses with Kansas tags out front of the bars, I’ll be sure and give em hell for ya.

9

Okay, wait, this is utterly brilliant. These dimwits figure a homosexual assault was brought on by “promoting homosexuality?” Even assuming that’s an accurate depiction of life at that school, what the fuck do they think causes all the heterosexual assaults that go on every friggin’ day in this country, the Washington Monument?

I got it! I know what he wants! We gotta deport alla the lesbians fast, and give every man in the nation chemical castration, that’ll make it a perfect world!

[sub]Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, my frontal lobe just started bleeding again, goddamn Phelps and his mindbending logic…[/sub]

10

Even though I live in the same state as that…creature’s vile noxic lair, I am NOT of a like mind. (Besides he’s from Missouri, isn’t he?) Determinedly holds up her head

Fred Phelp’s bio

(Noxic, is a word of my own creation AFIK, it’s a combination of noxious, and toxic.)

11

As I’ve mentioned in other threads, I am from Topeka, Kansas. Fred wasn’t born here but slithered in sometime in the fifties. And about nine of his crew(six adults and three kids) were, yet again, in front of my church about 10:30 yesterday morning. Try seeing the jerk several times a week. talk about eyeballs bleeding and scrubbing out your skull.

12

I noticed that while all of the NYC radio stations broadcasted this story, not one gave the name of Phelps or his group. I’m proud they did not give the group any free publicity.

13

There was a brief shot of them on the CBS morning lo-cal news that did give the name of the group, but it was definitely played as a “Come looks at the freaks!” story, and the anchors shook their heads with sadness afterwards as only an anchor can.

14

Probably because I don’t think most people here know who he is. Don’t recall ever hearing of him before the SDMB, or really anywhere else. He comes to the area, he’ll get a lot of “Fred Who?”

15

snort The guy came to Pittsburgh to picket at the memorial service of Fred Rogers.

Yep, that’s right. Mister freaking Rogers! C’mon, if he didn’t get to Heaven, what chance have the rest of us got?

Fred Phelps is crazier than all get out.

16

What was Fred P.‘s beef with Fred R.? Mr. Rogers was either a very gentle hetero pastor or the world’s biggest closet case. Unless Phelps objected to Mr. Rogers’ daily dive into and out of the sweater closet or his habit of keeping his fist up his puppets’ butts, I just can’t see the connection.

17

Wherever he’s from, he’s not welcome in Missouri.

Bubbadog
We try to convince all our nutjobs to go to California. Maybe Phelps thought Topeka was next to Fresno.

18

Update:

Didn’t make today’s * Times *

The * News*, on page 9, had a pic of 3 kids and spoke of them as 8 family members. Fred was not mentioned, a Margie was. No organization name was mentioned. They were apparently outnumbered 50-1 by a counterprotest.

19

Fred doesn’t get out much anymore, being something like eleventy-seven years old. It’s mostly the second and third generations of his toxic little family church, dragging the poor, innocent fourth generation along with them, that do the actual remote protests.

20

Phelps is either a certifiable megalomaniac, or a troll.

He decried Fred Rogers on the grounds that he was a Presbyterian minister, and had infected generations of children with evil Protestant mind-rays. If a megalomaniac, he (Phelps) believes that it’s not enough to simply believe in something, or even to practice some form of Christianity: you have to believe what Phelps believes, or suffer eternal damnation. If a troll, he probably figured on getting extra attention by Pitting the unPittable Mr. Rogers.

Hey, is “Pit” a verb yet?