But maybe Big-Ass Spider is female.
I need a drink.
Or maybe aBig Ass-Spider
And all you silly Dopers thought that Intelligent Design was hogwash!
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These well-endowed arachnids have been around a long time
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Ladies, How you doin’? 
^^ Parker! I pay you to take pictures; get back to work!
It looks like legs aren’t the only long thing on this daddy.
A crane fly?! :smack:
In my area (western WA), we use the name for a true harvestman, but also for a spider that specializes in building webs where they cannot possibly ever find food, like the back of a cupboard. With a small body and long legs, they look superficially similar. http://www.spiderzrule.com/daddy1.htm
Yes, often called a cellar spider, and their webmaking skills are pretty awful. I’ve only seen an Opiliones once in my life, and it was outside on the lawn and bright red/orange, so no confusing it with the spider. Really cool little creatures.
It’s also apparently a plant in the antipodean WA. News to me.
I’ve had it with these mother fucking spiders and their 90 million year old mother fucking penises.