Here’s few REALLY bad songs I’ve run across. No hits for obvious reasons:
“Back Street” - R. Dean Taylor - Boy & girl plan on marriage & happy future. Girl gets preggers by someone (who? don’t know). So ashamed she runs to the ghetto and becomes whore to support baby. Leaves baby with boy and dies in the street. Have a nice day! Mr.Taylor deserves an extra slap for using the word “scorned” TWICE in the same song.
“Sitting in the Palm Tree” - ABBA - Bjorn decides to sit at the top of a plam tree until girl he loves returns love. Palm trees. In Sweden. Ooooo-kay. I won’t even discuss “King
Kong Song”
Actually, I know of some pretty good, if a bit weird and certainly obscure, rock songs.
In my B.C. days during college, I listened to some weird stuff - Frank Zappa, Captain Beefheart, etc. but the strangest of them all was Root Boy Slim and the Sex Change Band.
I saw a review (I think in Rolling Stone) that said Root sounded like an emphysemic throwing up inside the Goodyear blimp on the song “Boogie 'Till You Puke”, and I knew I had to have it.
I ordered it by mail. (It’s funny the looks you get when you ask for it at a record store.) When the 8 track arrived (yes, it’s been awhile since college), I took it down to a friend’s dorm room and played it. Keep in mind it’s the middle of the afternoon, not too many people are in the dorm, and his room is way down at the end of a hall. Three folks wandered in to ask “WHAT IS THAT NOISE?”
There were lots of other great songs on that, “In Jail In Jacksonville”, “You Broke My Mood Ring”, and “Used To Be A Radical”.
I would recommend “The World’s Worst Records” - a compilation album put out by Rhino. The vinyl version comes with a barf bag.
One song is called “Fluffy” and it’s about a dog that has disappeared sung by a woman who has no ear for music. Another is about a clown named Kinko who molests children and winds up in jail. Then there’s a kazoo orchestra doing a medley of popular songs and a tune by The Turtles that was waaaay ahead of its time.
All of the songs are really bizarre. It’s one of my favorite albums.
This is one that was on a record called Golden Throats. William Shatner singing Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds. I heard it on NPR while driving home from work. I almost ran off the road. I was the musical verson of a train wreck.
Umm…Denim and Leather is not obscure.
Depending on how old you are, you may not have heard them too much, but Saxon was one of the premier metal bands back in the days of the NWOBHM (New Wave Of British Heavy Metal), when Iron Maiden first came out. Saxon just didn’t have as much staying power as Maiden.
I inherited a tape with this on it from my aunt. The song is so difficult to listen to, it’s like brushing your teeth with battery acid and a buttonhook.
I hadn’t thought of Root Boy Slim in quite awhile. How about “Christmas in Kmart”?
You’re a man after my own heart. (Though Captain Beefheart had Root Boy Slim beaten in wierdness).
The weirdest ever, though, was Lol Coxhill, who put out an obscure double album around 1973. It consisted mostly of him blatting out progressive jazz on his saxophone, but he revived a couple of songs from the 30s “Two Little Pigeons” and the politically uncorrect (even then) “That’s Why Darkies Were Born.” There was also “A Series of Superbly Played Mellotron Codas.” But the champion was his version of “I Am the Walrus” chanted by preschoolers. So bad it was stupendous. Or stupifying. I forget which.
Hooray mikehardware!
I have a friend called Slim. I have referred to him as “Root Boy Slim” for years and nobody has a clue who he was. The song She’s Not Too Old For Him was always my favorite.
mojo, I have no idea what you’re saying. Saxon is awesome! Denim and Leather is is a great record! If you want bad and obscure, you need to hear M.O.D.‘s cover of "Surfin’ U.S.A." aptly titled “Surfin’ M.O.D.”.