My wife and I have one child and another on the way. She’s Rh- and I’m Rh+. She got Rhogam after the first child’s birth and after at least one of the two miscarriages that happened between that live birth and this pregnancy. Anyway, this baby is doing fine so far.
My question is, since we don’t plan on having any more kids after this one (I’m thinking about getting snipped), does it make any sense to spend the $135-200 on the Rhogam shot after this kid’s born? As far as I can tell, the mom gets a post-birth shot to protect future fetuses from the effects of incompatibility, but what does it matter if there aren’t gonna be any future fetuses?
Assuming no means of birth control is perfect, do you want to take the chance on a pregnancy? And there are other contingencies I won’t mention, but I’m sure you can imagine under which your wife might get pregnant again. How would she feel?
It looks like vasectomies are 99% effective. Combine that with the 50% chance that a future fetus would be Rh+, and the fact that Rh incompatibility isn’t a death sentence, and that we don’t have $135-200 to spare and I wonder what’s the point. We put our kid–and will put our next kid–in a car; surely that’s thousands of times more dangerous than not getting the Rhogam.
Moderator Action
This is more of an advice question than a factual question. Let’s move this over to IMHO. The factual aspects of the topic (i.e. why exactly are the shots given) may still be addressed there.
Moving thread from General Questions to In My Humble Opinion.
Just because they are married abortion is totally off the table? He did say that they want this one to be their last one.
I’ll be a little more blunt than OldGuy. You’re only thinking about having the vasectomy- you haven’t had it yet and you may not. Even if you have it before she gives birth, is she absolutely certain there are no circumstances where she would want to be pregnant again? Not if you don’t have the vasectomy and hit the lottery for $100 million, not if something happened to you and she remarried, not if someone close to her needed a surrogate- no circumstances whatsoever.
Because Rh incompatibilty may not be a death sentence, but it can be deadly. And I can almost guarantee if that she'll never get over it if she doesn't have the shot, wants to be pregnant again and has a bad outcome.If I were the wife in question, I’d want the shot.
Because things happen. And I’d rather be able to change my mind about no more babies-- especially in a scenario where present husband has a vasectomy and then dies in a tragic car accident and grieving widow ends up having unprotected sex with a man who believes himself to be infertile (because his ex-fiancee lied) and then gets pregnant and has a crisis. Or maybe she remarries-- and the new husband wants a baby with her to carry on his family name . . . or . . . or . . or
OK, maybe I read too many romance novels-- the lying ex-fiancee came from one I read recently. But I think you need to consider the possibility that circumstances may change, and refusing a shot because there’s no way that you’d ever want another baby strikes me as short-sighted.
You don’t have $135-200 to spare and you are having a child? A vasectomy will cost more that $200. You getting a vasectomy does not magically keep your wife from getting pregnant. If she were getting her tubes tied then it might not be necessary for the Rhogam.
Given that we’re having a child, we don’t have $135-200 to spare for something we might not really need anyway. The shot has to be shotten within like 3 days of the birth, so it’s also a matter of not having the dough to spare when the bill comes due.
I mean, if there’s no pressing need to spend it, why spend it?
Because unplanned pregnancies happen. And the $135 - $200 is going to seem really piddly to you (or your wife) in the face of the thousands and thousands you could end up spending for medical care for that next baby. Not to mention the other potential consequences, like permanent disability or even death.
Seriously, anything can happen. Anything. You never know.
Looking up the procedure for giving Rhogam shots, did she not get the first of two shots at 28 weeks already?
I don’t have any answers to your questions, but I wanted you to know that I got a smile out of this phrasing. I like your style, man. My best to you and the missus and I’m sure you know that now you’ve posted this, some folks around here are going to be expecting pictures once your new family member appears on the scene.
I hate needles. HATE THEM. And I got my tubes tied while I was still open from the cesarean after my daughter was born. I still got the additional Rhogam shot, in part because you never know what will happen and in part because it was explained to me that not getting it could negatively impact me in the future in the event of a blood transfusion or other zany medical situations. Spend this $200 and know that it is the best decision you can make for your wife and family.
I personally know two women who had no intention of having another child, and who had tubal ligations, and were very surprised when they became pregnant again.
Are you reading the posts? ALL of them have said have the shot, anything can happen, yet you seem to be holding out for the one that says not to. Does your wife get a say in this?
You may decide to have a child after you snip. You may think this will never happen, but life is always throwing monkey shit at us which makes us change our minds.
Somebody has to fall within that 1%, assuming she doesn’t get pregnant before you even get snipped. Besides, a lot of stuff in life can change on the turn of a dime. Something could go wrong with this pregnancy and you guys might decide to try again. You two could split up. You could die. Your financial circumstances could change and you might decide you want another child.
As I pointed out above, he might not even be in the picture at that point. And for some folks abortion is totally off the table, no matter what.
Hopefully the baby will be rh- and this won’t be an issue. That said, I’d put the money down for the shot - better to have your bases covered, no matter what the plan is at the moment.
I didn’t assume abortion was off the table, I assumed that she might not want to have one for any number of reasons. I also assumed that she might wish to have a child some time later were she widowed or divorced or for some other reason.