Not-So-Great Childhood Games

In My Humble Opinion
1

Don’t know why I got to thinking about this. What games did you have as a child that looking back now, seem rather lame?

I can think of two.

First was the little electric racetrack. (Can’t remember an official name.)

You set the track up, carefully positioned these little cars that had two metal runners on the underside of them, controlled the speed with a little hand-held gismo and that was it.

You just watched the cars go round and round, slowing them or speeding them up and for God knows what reason, felt that this was an actual form of entertainment.

The other one was that football game with a bunch of little plastic men that you placed on a field that had to be plugged in. (Don’t know the name of this one but I know some people know what I’m talking about.)

So, you set all your guys in some elaborate formation. Sometimes you would take turns with your opponent alternating the placement of your men—“O.K., if you’re putting YOUR guy THERE, then I’m putting MY guy HERE!”

Once all the men were in place, you hit the switch and the field would begin to vibrate as the men would move about in every which way imaginable. All the while, the field is making this low, dull, grinding rumble. You watched helplessly as players ran in the wrong direction, locked arms with other men and began spinning themselves around, or made a straight beeline toward the edge of the machine and fruitlessly tried to bore their way to freedom.

After it was determined that no forward progress could be made, you turned the machine off, and set your guys up for another down…Never questioning if there was a point to any of this.

I know we look back on some of the childish diversions of our youth with great nostalgia but others really make you wonder what the hell you were thinking.

Such is life.

2

Slot cars were fun, they required a degree of locomotor reflex skill.

Electric football was merely a high-tech version of watching paint dry.

3

We had one of those footbal games and played with it a lot. My aunt stepped right in the middle of it (not on purpose but we were in the hall just outside the bathroom and she came barrelling through without looking) and bent it all to hell. She thought it was our cousin’s and apologized profusely to him until we told her it was ours – at which point she just said “Oh” and went on and did whatever she had headed to the bathroom for to start with. Bitch.

Electric trains were as stupid as those cars, especially the one I got one Christmas that had such a short track that the five or six cars covered one whole side of it. I’ll never forget the stink of those things.

Erector sets and Lincoln Logs and those sets that had the little disks and sticks that you could build stuff with – Tinker Toys! Pre-Lego by a long shot.

4

[Family Guy]
If you ask me, electric football is a metaphor for America. Always shakin’… always wigglin’… never really knowin’ where it’s goin’… wait a minute…
[/Family Guy]

I had one of those Labyrinth games, with the two knobs and the tilting maze with the holes. It was kinda fun until I figured out a few shortcuts; then it got dull. I had Lincoln Logs too, but they got boring almost immediately.

5

Electric Football is definately the worst game ever developed anywhere by anyone.

6

I has some weird games. There was a game I invented with my brother and sister called “Mad Motorbike Killer”. Exceptionally bizarre.

Though Board Games that didn’t stand the test of time… Hungry Hungry Hippo is one I have fond memories of, but didn’t last. Ditto Ker-blonk.

7

Slapjack is the lamest card game ever. I played it with my cousin’s kids last Thanksgiving, remembering the bajillion games I made my Grandpa play with me. sigh In case you don’t know it: you turn over the cards one at a time. If a jack comes up, you slap it. Whoever slaps it first, gets it. If you slap a non-jack, you lose one of your jacks, if you have any. After the cards are gone, whoever has the most jacks wins. If your four-year-old neice/nephew is having trouble picking up the finer points of Gin Rummy or Cribbage, try it.

8

I don’t understand how ANYBODY could get bored with Lincoln Logs. I’m 28 and still occasionally play with legos, lincoln logs and slot cars, I also used to enjoy my train set.
One stupid card game is War, though I played with my 6 year old cousin a few months back and it was a blast, she kicked my ass, though I doubt it was through any skill.
The absulute stupidest thing ever has to be ‘Simon Says’, completely retarded, especially when your 3 years old and nobody ever told you the rules :frowning:

9

Anyone ever played mumblypeg? I still can’t believe our parents (Ok, our Dad) taught us a game where you throw a knife at each other’s feet. Seems a tad out of place in todays world. :slight_smile:

10

Bloody knuckles.

11

Hands up, anyone who remembers Gnip-Gnop.

Lincoln Logs were boring because the shapes and linkages only allowed for limited permutations. “Look – it’s a log cabin! Look – a different log cabin! Look – a log fence! Etc…”

My parents gave me a large basket of wooden blocks of all shapes and sizes, plus a sizeable Tinkertoy set. The combination of the two led to some interesting creations.

12

My friend used to make me play 52 pickup. Still not sure why this person was my friend.

13

My friend, usually in the course of describing the joys of growing up Scottish (he’s been shot, stabbed and almost drowned by members of his family), has often told me of a game he played with his father and brothers: Bone. The players sit around the kitchen table wearing heavy boots, and take turns kicking each other in the shins as hard as they can until someone gives up. The last person left playing is the winner.

14

How about some really fun games. Like peeing on the electric fence. Have an ant hill and some firecrackers? Lots of entertainment value. The nearby train tracks were lots of fun, especially if the train slowed enough to get a ride. Once a friend and I, armed with our brand new wrist rocket sling shots came across a large pile of gravel next to a new freeway that had just opened. Combine 2 stolen bowling balls, a fairly steep hill, an orange pickup with a smashed in taillight, and a silver Chevy with a bent wheel and hubcap, you get tons of laughs. The only thing I ever got in trouble over was a train ride to a town about 75 miles south of home. My freind’s dad was not impressed when he had to drive down and pick us up.

15

I was going to get into those outside group games from childhood like tag, red rover, kick the can, hide and seek, steal the bacon, dodge ball, pop the whip, Mother May I, Simon Says, etc., but it looked like the thread was headed for toys and such.

racer72 reminded me of what I first thought of when I read the title of the thread. We had some doozies of fun things to do that would be not-so-great in this day and age. I suspect it’s just good fortune that I’m still alive and not incarcerated for the things I did as a kid and teenager.

16

If you mean Ping-Pong, then you must know my brother.

17

For the record, I must have been a lame kid, because I loved slot cars and also Gnip Gnop. The only 4-player game I’ve ever seen where one player’s game pieces were BROWN. :smiley:

A game I look back on and wonder why we played it over and over and over for ours was “Witch in the Well.”

18

I guess you din’t mean Ping-Pong, and Gnip-Gnop is a game unto itself.

19

Gnip-Gnop was a small enclosed two-person game with three large buttons on each side. When you smacked a button it launched a ping-pong ball towards (and, ideally, through) a small hoop to the other players side. The object IIRC was to get all three balls on the other player’s side. Much heavy smacking on buttons ensues.

Ping-pong is actually fun, at least until all the balls are destroyed or lost.

20

A slinky was fun maybe 4 or 5 times until you realized the thrill of seeing it do its trick wore off. Then what did you have? A spring.

Hula hoops? I guess if you wanted it to become an Olympic sport, okay. Maybe it was worth getting where you could keep one going a while.

Yo-yo’s were it, though. I had several. All of them had been carved by a touring yo-yo expert who could do just about anything with one. I even had a little book with maybe 50 tricks in it. I lost it and have never been able to locate another one like it, even from Duncan themselves.