Nothing to write home about - a very early MMP

Technically, it’s Monday (at least on the east coast) so I am posting now. nyah.

Back about 15 years ago, I participated in a creative writing group. We’d share our short stories and poems, even technical writings. We also wrote several original interactive murder mysteries, and then acted them out as an event for the social group to which we all belonged.
During a slump, that is no one was bringing in any new works to critique, the coordinator decided we needed to write a round robin novel. So we drew numbers from a hat, and that was our chapter. The only rule was that we had to try to maintain some sort of continuity. Chapter one was film-noir-ish, and chapter two continued along those lines. Chapter 3 started swerving into the supernatural - by the time it was my turn, we’d already had a TV has been bumped off and a vampire spice rack tooling around giving spinters, and thereby turning, everyone it came in contact with. The final chapter involved a female Scottish Ninja and a recovering bloodaholic (a vampire who refused to feed on humans). If I can find it, perhaps I will print exerpts.
Another exercise was we drew a random phrase from a hat, and had to write a two to three page essay/story. I drew “iquanas in the grape nuts” (I told you the phrases were random).
This OP isn’t nearly as fun as I thought it would be, I’m sorry. I’ve had a bitchin’ sinus headache for two days so I’ve been hiding in my bed. But I did volunteer for this assignment, and I’ve never backed down from a volunteering. I hope your Monday is a happy one and a belated Happy Fathers’ Day to all dads and dad-like individuals.

And it’s lovely that you’ve started early because I’m awake for some silly reason. Although I seem to be getting sleepy again, finally.

So, what kind of story did you make out of “iguanas in the grape nuts”? Sounds promising for something wacky.

Happy early early Monday!


Hope the sinus headache goes away for ya.

I hear they’re real bitches.

Wow. You are early. I shouldn’t be up now, but my goddamned staff in UK paged me at 5:00 in the am with an “Urgent” issue (they could and should have dealt with it without involving me). So I’m losing out on my Beauty Sleep because they need reassurance. :rolleyes:

Good MMP, Rose.

Early this morning my dog took up the patented Dog Position, which is a mixture of utter rapt adoration of the Goddess (me) and total indifference to the world. Dunno how she does this, but she does.

So I was on the computer and all at once I farted like a trumpet solo. I then said “Sorry, Dog.” And it occurred to me she probably thought I spoke to her twice. And I began to wonder which of the two voices she preferred…

No reaction to either.

Oh well.

Morning, all. Good MMP, Rose. I hope you’re feeling better soon. I want to hear some excerpts, especially iguanas in the grape nuts!

It flooded overnight here. Not on my side of town, but I just talked to my husband and he’s stuck on a freeway, trying to get to work. And he can’t turn around and come back home. At least he has coffee. (Hopefully he won’t have to pee too soon! Hee!)

Why is it we either have drought or flooding? There doesn’t seem to be any in-between.

So it will probably be a quiet day. People aren’t going to make it in, I’m sure.

Last night hubby finally finished the TV shelf in the bedroom. Then I had to help him hoist the 5000 lb TV over my head onto the shelf. It took us three tries, but we got it up there, with minimum scratching to the newly painted surfaces. It looks really awesome! He does great work.

Speaking of which… have a great day everyone! Gotta get to it.

When Evil Fat Scarlett was a kitten, she always slept curled up against my butt. During the night, if I farted, she’d start purring and rolling around like I’d just blessed her with a precious gift.

Stupid cat.

I’ve had those so bad that I seriously thought that a properly chucked and rotating 3/8-inch drill bit shoved up my nostrils would be both less painful and providing welcome relief at the same time.

Short of that, OTC Claritin and Benadryl do wonders…

I’m on Zyrtec. Could also have been a blood sugar thing - I didn’t eat much Saturday, and even less on Sunday. But in spite of how I felt I pulled myself together and I am at work.
I don’t have a copy of my Iguanas essay but I’ll try and remember it and post it later this week. As for “Blood and Cookies” (what we named our novel) which by the way is copywrited by us, so no sneaky plegerizing (sp?) I am going to try to get a hold of a full copy (no clue where mine is, but I know my friend has one) and post exerpts during the week

A MMP with weird fiction promised… I like it rosie! Sorry about the sinus headache. I have 'em. A lot. So I know how miserable you’ve been feeling. ICK!

My day started off with a visit to the dentist. Envy me. It was a follow up with the periodontist who told me everything was looking real good. I get to go back in August for a [del]torturing[/del] cleaning.

Happy Monday Y’all! I’ll check back later with what will no doubt be some fascinating facet of work. :smiley:

Very intriguing OP, rosie. Now we all want to read about the blood, and cookies, and iguanas, and grapenuts. :slight_smile: Hope you feel better.

So Mr. Anachi knocked out the shower in the Master bath this weekend. No, really, he did. We got the word that the tile guy plans to start the tile in two weeks so Mr. Anachi needed to finish the wrecking of the bath. Trust me, you do not want to see what’s behind sixteen year old leaky tile. :stuck_out_tongue:

We are using the guest bath now that The Princess[sup]TM[/sup] has moved out. It’s got one of those water saver showerheads. Bleah! I know, I’m bad. Somehow, though, I think I’m wasting a lot less water than some of the developers around here with their fountains and golf courses.

I do NOT fart! However, my dogs have been known to be extremely rude and crude. :wink:

Damn AC is stuck on the artic setting here at work again. :frowning: <---- the color I am now.


Good lord, swampy, it’s just now 9 am and you’ve ALREADY been to the dentist? On a MONDAY? I’m just barely sentient, myself.

Welcome to the MMP, Gabriela! An unrelated fart post is just the sort of thing we like around here. I myself do not fart. No mother does. It is Fact.

We had a terrific Father’s Day in my house. Carpet was cleaned! A room that was barely transversable, was straightened! And, presents were dispensed. One from the children, a second (infinitely renewable) from me. :wink:

Although – can you believe this? – I think I have a hangover. This is pathetic. Over the course of approximately 9 hours yesterday, I consumed four (4) (IV) Coronas. With some lime. Can you believe that? Back in the day, I could put them away with little ill effect. Well, that’s the breaks of getting old!

Morning, everyone! I’m exhausted. What else is new. I had to camp this weekend. I hate camping. But I survived. I slept in a tent and everything. You’d be amazed how much easier sleeping outside becomes for me with the liberal application of alcohol. :slight_smile:

So, we had a great weekend. Without confusing everyone and making you think my friends and I are weirder than you’d originally imagine, I’ll say that this weekend, the Roomie had a test to become an official Guardian of our circle. Those are the people who stand outside the circle and make sure nothing gets us whilst we do pagany things. It’s mostly ceremonial, but believe me, these people are prepared, should we suddenly be attacked by zombies or bears or something. Anyway, rather than the usual “line everybody up to hit her with sticks” test, Roomie was given a mission–assassinate the six most central members of our Clan without getting caught. Only three or four people knew about the plan, and I was not one of them. So I was, naturally, surprised when I was just standing there, waiting for the bathroom, chatting with my best friend, and she stabbed me in the heart with a wooden knife after first slashing the throat of the other person I was standing with. In the end, she took out five of the six people she was supposed to (plus one extra who was in the bathroom when she killed Keri and me but wasn’t on the list), and passed with flying colors–and without anybody else figuring out who the assassin was.

And then everybody lined up to hit her with sticks, but that was just for fun. :smiley:

Everything after that is kind of a blur. I know there was an Irish Drinking Song competition. I don’t know if I won.

Good morning, y’all.

rosie I hope you feel better soon.

Finally got the deck stained. We finished last night just as the sun went down. We wanted to do it Saturday, but the boards weren’t dried out enough. So of course, as soon as we ffinished, we checked the Weather Channel, and find that we’re going to have thunderstorms tonight. Grrrrr.

Does anyone have any suggesions on how I can keep different sized and somewhat flimsy catalogs upright on my bookshelf? These things are falling all over the place, and it’s getting hard to keep them from falling apart.

sean, would something like this work?

MBG – I looked at your drum & bugle corps photos from last week’s MMP… HEY! Southwind is from here! I wonder if I know anyone involved.

– Ellen (old band geek)

Oh and also from last week, thanks FCM for the pottery wheel info. I’m still ponderin.’

For the smaller, flimsier ones, it just might. Thankee sai. (Yeah, guess what I’m torturing myself with this week from the library.)(I’m so glad I didn’t buy this book.)

Now I’ve just got to get the Eye-Candy girl to pick up two for me the next time she goes office supply shopping.

Bleh. It’s Monday. I hate Mondays. What’s worse, I have nothing to do at work, and I can’t just go to sleep. My weekend was uneventful to say the least. I did laundry yesterday. Bleh.

Oh, and inspired by the discussion of insects in last week’s MMP, here is the first of this week’s bug-based puns:

Hello, all.

Pagan weekends and eccentric fiction–I like the combo. Did the pagan rituals involve iguanas (ugly bastard creatures) or grapenuts(what the hell is a grapenut-besides an icky breakfast cereal?).

I worked all weekend. No, it’s true, I did. And we got a 30+ year old woman who weighed about 100 pounds soaking weight, whose abdomen was grossly distended. Fetal heart tones are present. Ultrasound puts fetal age around 35 weeks. She denies intercourse or pregnancy, and hasn’t had her period in oh, about 7 months–but don’t tell her 4 kids, they’ll be mad… :eek:

We don’t often get pregnant women–and we shipped her out to [del]the psych ward[/del] a university hospital for care. <need amazed, shaking head smiley here>

Other than that, not much is happening here. The countertop people come on Wednesday to measure (they actually said, “make sure there is nothing on the cabinets” Um, hello–we don’t HAVE any counters, so there is nothing on the cabinets!). Microwave is delivered as well on Wed.
Need the handyman and the tile man now–no response from tile man(urgh). Handyman is in talks with husband re vent for microwave.

I am getting --what is the word I want?–ah, yes, terrified re grad school. I just have realized that to graduate in 2 years, I must do 10 hours a semester. I don’t think that’s possible or even practical. But staying longer means doing my job longer…catch 22. I’ll get over it, I’m sure-but let me whine, ok?

Floods and T-storms and hurricanes, oh my! Nothing going on here–nice, cooler summer day…

There were no iguanas, but there was a small pet snake, at one point, I believe. And the only breakfast cereal I saw was the glop I fed my goddaughter yesterday morning while she spit it all over me and whined because Daddy was taking down his tent and too busy to feed her himself.

Oh oh! We also had our showing of A Midsummer Night’s Dream. At first, everyone just wanted to sit and read their parts without actually doing any, you know, acting, but Roomie and I convinced them otherwise. You see, they’d been promised that the play would include busty redheads wrestling, and Roomie and I told them in no uncertain terms that if they weren’t willing to actually act out the play, then neither were we. I believe my exact words were “If you don’t stand up, we’re not going to.” Every man in the cast and audience stood up, so we caved. :slight_smile: It went very well, and I got my face ground into the dirt whilst hurling Shakespearean insults, so that was fun, too.