Notice: Do not speak these phrases near my ears

I hereby restrict the utterance of the following two phrases to not less than five miles from either one of my ears:

“Shut the front door.”

“This ain’t my first rodeo.”

If you verbalize any one of these near me you will receive, at the very least, a sharp elbow to the spleen. You are not clever, you are not witty, and you damn fuck ain’t original.

Thank you.


Is there anything specific about these phrases you have problems with? Or is your sole complaint that they’re unoriginal? Because if that’s it you might as well attempt to ban every phrase or quote ever and almost every joke uttered within your earshot.

Don’t give him ideas.

As long as we’re making pointless pronouncements, I wish for the sun to move thataways and get out of my eyes.

Because this ain’t my first rodeo, if I feel your elbow in my spleen, I’ll knock your teeth down your throat. Now shut the front door.

If it weren’t for that horse…

Now, see, if you had asked nicely, I might have complied. But I hate being told what to do, so now I’m going to say them all the time.

Someone is not a happy camper.

I suspect you’re talking about the recent trend to use this phrase as a euphemism for “Shut the fuck up!”

If so, then please allow me to bitch-slap the offender after you’re done with them.

Is there a particular inside meaning to these phrases which has yet to make it all the way up north to Canada?

  1. “Shut the front door.” - Your fly is down?
  2. “This ain’t my first rodeo.” – I’ve had sex previously?

Did I guess correctly? Am I a total idiot? What does this thread even mean?

“Shut the front door” is a cutesy way of saying “Shut the fuck up.”

“This ain’t my first rodeo” is fairly self-explanatory. It just means that you aren’t inexperienced in whatever area is being discussed. It is especially applicable when you suspect someone is trying to dupe you.

You’re going dirty, pull up, pull up!

Front door=fuck up Grew in popularity after the Orbit gum commercial with the fake swears.
This ain’t my first rodeo.=Scuse me, I’ve done this before so back off. Like “Don’t teach grandma to suck eggs.” but less likely to scandalize idiots.

There’s an annoying cookie commercial involving two children, a dad and a mother who says, “Shut the front door”. I think, “How inappropriate!”

Oh, I should point out that it would be weird to tell someone “Shut the front door” when you’re actually mad at them. It’s an expression of incredulity, not hostility.

Well, I’m glad they’re not in the vernacular here. Yet.

“If it were a snake it woulda bit me!” ARGH.

I always prefer:
“Well, I’ve been to one world fair, a picnic, and a rodeo, and that’s the stupidest thing I ever heard come over a set of earphones.”

From the always good Slim Pickens.

I have to admit, I’ve never heard “Shut the front door” as a euphemism for anything. But I live a sheltered life.

Maybe if you’d shut the door when you come into a house, and stop hanging out at rodeos, you’d stop hearing those phrases.

I can tell when I’m not wanted.

Can you give me a little boost back into this turnip truck?

I thought it was more along the lines of “No fuckin’ way!” or “Shut the fuck up”, as in, “I don’t believe what you’re telling me. Are you serious?”

Although, admittedly, I can probably count on two hands the times I’ve heard the phrase- enough to get the meaning from context, but not nearly enough that I’d demand never to hear it again.

As for the ‘rodeo’ one, I’ve heard it a few times and I kind of like it. I might actually *start *using it.

Sounds like someone’s got a case of the Moondays.