Now that Elon Musk has bought Twitter - now the Pit edition (Part 1)

“Two men enter, and then we seal up the door, forget about them both and go have lunch.”

For the love of God, Monstressor, double time the mortar!

As much as I dislike the man, Mr. Musk get my bet.

Mr. Zucker is physically less able.

In any case I think this would not be an actual punch-up, but a childish slap fest ending in a draw.

Edit: ninja’d by quite a few people

Musk looks very out of shape according to a couple shirtless photos I’ve seen. Also, this (I don’t think this is satire, but it’s hard to tell these days):

If that is true, Facebook would demolish Twitter in a cage match.

It’s not satire. Here’s the same article from SI:

https://www.si.com/tech-media/2023/05/09/facebook-founder-mark-zuckerberg-wins-big-first-ever-jiu-jitsu-tournament

I don’t think anybody claims Zuck can take on a professional MMA fighter, but I’d give him the advantage over Musk on this basis, even with a weight disadvantage (or maybe even because of how that weight advantage is distributed).

More than one shirtless photo? I don’t mean to kink-shame; I’m just surprised.

It probably was just one. I guess that was enough.

I believe those were legit wins about as much as I believe Elvis actually earned that black belt.

I guess we’ll have to wait for the cage fight to see who’s legit! I’d pay to watch :slight_smile:

"Mr Musk, who turns 52 later this month, also tweeted: “I have this great move that I call ‘The Walrus’, where I just lie on top of my opponent & do nothing.”

I’d almost rather watch a movie about walruses. Except Tusk.

That may have something to do with why he’s been divorced so many times.

I hate them both but Zuck seems to have been at least semi-seriously training lately. In any fight, my money is on the guy who has actual training even if he’s less physically imposing than his opponent.

Best joke of the day, well done!

Sure they were legitimate. It was a tourney in Redwood City, CA and he won medals in a lower division (“white belt masters 2 lightweight” apparently). It’s not like he beat some heavyweight experts for a nation-wide title.

Still think that gives him a leg up over Musk, who looks like running up a flight of stairs might do him in

Well done!

Golf clap.

In a real fight, Musk’s size would matter, but the winner would be the one who wants to hurt the other person the most.

Zuck has a yellow belt in Jiu Jitsu. That means close to nothing. You get a yellow belt for having learned how to fall, some basic holds and grapples, and a sign that you’re committing. Yellow belt basically means you’re ready to start learning. But it’s definitely better than nothing.

The truth is that in the ring, the one who wins will likely be the one who is most in shape. Two minutes of grappling will leave both of them gasping like fish on a beach.

My money is on Zuck. He has a bit of training, looks like he’s in decent shape, and Musk looks like the only exercise he’s ever done was walking the hallways of his businesses.

The real winner out of this? The audience. Start the popcorn.

Zuckerberg probably also gets more and better sleep.

I’d venture to guess that Musk’s only advantage other than size might be a willingness to take some drug to amp up his adrenaline, numb pain, etc.

If so, I’d really prefer to not bet on either participant.

I saw some reddit discussions on the likely winner of this fight. Most had Zuck as the winner, partly because of his yellow belt and Musk looking like an unbaked loaf in some paparazzi yacht shots. Partly because Zucks advantage in having exoskeleton and ectotherm metabolism in a warm midsummer.