Mrs. Chef, Chef Jr., and I went to a new Italian restaurant in our neighborhood - fabulous food, especially the chicken marsala - and while we were there, we were treated to Dean Martin singing “That’s Amoré” over the stereo.
It made me remember the bit in one of Spider Robinson’s “Callahan” books where a cluricaune starts singing fractured verses of the song. Here are a couple of verses from that book:
*When you swim in the sea
and an eel bites your knee,
That’s a moray…
When two patterns combine
In a form serpentine,
That’s a moiré…
My new ray-gun here tries
to put out both your eyes -
It’s a Moe-Ray…*
So I’m putting out a challenge to all you Dopers who think you’re smart - post your own fractured verse to “That’s Amoré” right here! I’ll do one to get things started:
A Canadian chick
Who is turning a trick…
That’s a whore, eh?
A cluricaune is one of the Daonie Sidhe, aka the Little People. Superficially it resembles a leprechaun, but whereas leprechauns spend their time reluctantly granting wishes and keeping those pesky kids away from the Lucky Charms, a cluricaune… drinks. Anything that has alcohol in it within the cluricaune’s sphere of influence will vanish. Basically, as Spider Robinson put it, a cluricaune is a walking thirst. As you can imagine, it was a worrisome prospect to have one appear in the bar that is the setting of the books.
The book speaks of one bar that got rid of a cluricaune by renting the building to a group of moslems who turned the place into a mosque. The cluricaune replied, “The irish may be bellicose, but by Harry, at least we ain’t humorless.”
Here are some additional verses I just thought of:
*If your housekeeper, Rose
Strips away all her clothes
That’s a raw maid…
If Afghans get some grub
That we drop in a tub
That’s some more aid…*
*Chopping off people’s heads,
'til your hands are bloody red,
That’sa gory.
Spinning yarns for the kids,
'til sleep closes their eyelids,
That’sa story.
He was chief engineer
seeing through a visor queer,
That’s Giordi.
A Christian’s boss of it all,
Not some schmuck from down the hall,
That’s the Lord-e…*
OK, I’ll quit before my rhyme goes downhill. [sub]Too late! :rolleyes:[/sub]
Sorry, I have to call foul on this one, and also the one that ended in “quarry.” They just aren’t close enough to “amoré.” Let’s all pay attention to our craft, people.
There’s just one way I’ll eat
A marshmallowy treat
That’s the s’more way.
