Brought on by the can I date a high schooler thread. I think someone in the thread suggested he wait 10 years, which would be 37 26. But would be wrong with 32 21?
I say once a person reaches 21 it is open season. Sure a 50 year old and 21 year might seem weird, but I have no problem with it.
I would see nothing weird with a 32 year old dating a 21 year old, but if the 21 year old was 19 or 20 then it seems weird for some reason.
What say you?
Eh, I wouldn’t say there’s a set age. I’d say when you’re done with schooling and in the working world then it’s much easier to date anyone else who’s in the working world.
I’ve dated a few guys who were in school, at varying ages, while I was not in school and it was just a pain in the ass. Their school schedule + my work schedule was a pain in the ass; their work+school schedule + my work schedule was a pain in the ass. Their lack of respect for what life is really like beyond school was a pain in the ass (as was probably my lack of caring about how ha-ard school is was equally a pain in the ass for them).
But that’s just me.
It’s weird how when you reverse the sexes the ‘morality’ seems to change significantly…
I had a friend (male) who when he was 18 was dating a 26 year old woman. It seemed fine. But at the time it felt like if you reversed the sexes, a 26 year old man dating an 18 year old girl. Though not exactly totally wrong, it would be slightly creepy.
I confess, at 29 to have found more than one 21 year old woman attractive, but they seem young and it definitely feels like I am too old for them.
It bodes well for my future if, when I have become a “Grizzled but handsome gentleman” that I might be ‘allowed’ to date a 21 year old.
As I mentioned in that thread, I was 21 and Mr. S was 32 when we became a couple; that was more than 20 years ago and we’re still here while several of our married friends have divorced. I say it depends on the individuals, life experiences, maturity level, etc.
When legal questions are out of the picture (age of consent, drinking age, etc.) then it’s really just a matter of where you are in your life. As Zipper JJ mentioned, having one partner in first year uni and one well into a career can be a real source of conflict, even if they’re only a few years apart.
I would find the 26 year old woman with 18 year old man slightly more abnormal, but neither would be creepy at all for the age reason–just a little weird.
I’m 28, SO is 59. We get along famously.
The standard rule we used in college is your age / 2 + 7 for guys.
So the hypothetical 30 yo guy would be allowed to date a 22 yo gal.
I take no responsibility for usage of this rule, YMMV and so on 
I agree. I dated several women who were 6-7 years younger than me, and the common issue with them was that I was at a different point in my life than they were. Had they been done with school (or doing something different with their life) things might have possibly worked out differently.
One of the things I am currently looking for is someone who is more or less at the same point in their life as I am. I’m flexible on age as long as we are close in lifestyle/maturity level.
In Alberta you are an adult for all intents and purposes at 18. As far as I’m concerned, an 18 year old can date anyone of any age. I personally wouldn’t be dating any 18 year old boys, because they would be very much like boys to me, but if you find an 18 year old that suits you, go for it.
Maybe the difference in how your friends (apparently) viewed that relationship is because women are generally not viewed as being as sexually motivated as (most) men are, so it is not seen as being as predatory as it is when the older person is male.
Still, as a mid-20s female myself, I would consider it very, very odd if I knew a woman my age was dating a teenager. :dubious:
I’ve heard that in rural areas, bigger age differences are more accepted and commonplace. The reason is simple: slim pickings. If your town has 1000 people in it, many are already married and some are still minors. Who’s left?
If both parties are finished with their schooling, it would help a lot. And I think a lot of things could work in the short run. I wonder about Camelot’s situation, however. My sister’s hubbie is 8 years older than her and she said that when he retired (but she hadn’t), it was a real PITA. I guess their schedules and priorities were different.
I changed so much between 20 and 30, that it really wouldn’t have made sense to date someone way older. They needed to be in that same general time of flux and motion. Once 30 comes around, sky’s the limit, I say. Having said that, I would never again go higher than 10 years above my age. Lower? Bring 'em on!
How much lower? 
Old enough for booze, old enough to Schmooze! 
Hey, I still get carded…shouldn’t I still be able to date those who get legitimately carded? I meant, if I wasn’t married!
I’m close to 32, and my girlfriend of five months turns 21 next week. The age difference was something we had to talk about early on, but now it barely even crosses my mind (unless we’re teasing each other about it!). We accept each other’s differences, and we’ve both never been happier. 
This to me this age difference would give me pause were I to meet you. A 26 and 18 year old would not. That being said if it works, then rock on!
My Grandpa and his 2nd wife (my Grandma through and through) are 20 years apart. They married when I was born (she was about my Mom’s age, late teens/early 20s.) My grandmother is mentally every bit as old as my grandfather, possibly older. My 38-year-old Aunt is married to a guy 10 years younger and she is still mistaken for a woman my age (25.) So I’ve got a grandmother in her forties, a great-grandmother in her sixties, and aunts and an uncle who are like brother and sisters. Age was never an issue in our family so I’ve never had that hangup. I say tread carefully between 18-21, but legal is legal. Age is truly a state of mind.
“You’re as old as the person you’re feeling.” ~Groucho Marx
Og only knows what makes relationships succeed. My personal history suggests that the more you have in common, the less you have to argue about. OTOH not everybody is looking for a LTR. So hey, consenting adults and all that.
We were 42/26 when we started dating. I (42) have indeed asked myself the first few weeks whether that was wise - and might have backed off if she had been 20. We have been happily married for close to 9 years now.