No, no, no… that’s your real fortune, but in code.
See, the english text you read is the “feel good” fortune - the one that, for marketing purposes, they want you to think is your fortune. They say thing like, “You will have a productive and satisfying career!”, or “You are helpful and kind to strangers!”
However, there is a secret code that maps the number you see into your real fortune. When decoded, they say things like, “You would be wise to get an MRI scan of your left temporal lobe, SOON!”, or, “you will be hit by a bus on the way home from work tomorrow, and suffer a crippling neck injury.”
For obvious reasons, they can’t just come out and tell you this sort of stuff (they’d never sell the cookies then!), so they put it in code that you can only decipher if you know how.
peas on earth