Talked to relative today about nursing homes.
Many families have pulled their loved ones out because;
So what have you all heard?
I was in one for about six weeks in July and August because I came down with Covid-19. Yeah, it was much like you describe, especially in the Covid unit. I couldn’t leave my room except for physical therapy, which was conducted one on one with a therapist walking along beside me. I had to wear a mask outside of my room. The dining room was closed down. Meals were brought to our rooms in disposable containers with disposable utensils. My roommate was visited by his family, who had to stand outside and look in the window. Our room was on the ground floor. They talked to each other on their cell phones. The nurses and techs were fully gowned and masked with face shields and latex gloves.
Why on earth would they send Covid patients to a nursing home with THE most vulnerable people and where staff often work in more than one such home?
Seems very ill advised.
Because there’s a separate wing for Covid patients and a dedicated staff who only works in that wing and doesn’t interact with non-Covid patients. They also prohibit patients from being in the the halls and other areas of the facility. As I said, they also shut down the dining halls and gym and eliminate any mingling.
My dad is in an assisted-living facility. Back in April my siblings and I briefly discussed removing him when all this started, but then decided against it. He’s there because he needs the high level of assistance that only a team of professional care givers can really provide, and the facility itself is made to be safer for old folks (grab rails everywhere, elevators instead of stairs, no deep-pile carpet, no high-walled bathtub to climb over for a shower, etc.). It would have been sad if he had died of COVID at the AL facility, but if he died at my sister’s house because of something like tripping getting in/out of a bathtub or on deep carpet while trying to get to the bathroom alone at night, it would have been much more emotionally devastating and guilt-inducing. And even if he didn’t die at my sister’s house, it would have been a ton of work for her to take care of him - we’re not just talking about a week or two, but many months now. On top of all that, his friends are at the facility; he would miss them if he weren’t there.
A few days after that discussion, his facility had their first COVID case. By the time their outbreak ended in late summer, 11 residents had died from it, and the restrictions had been really demoralizing. No group dining, residents served all meals in their rooms. No menu, you get what they hand you in a styrofoam clamshell (typically late and no longer hot). No group activities. Masks and social distancing enforced, which is a major impediment to communication for old folks who can’t hear worth a damn and can’t speak clearly either. No outside visitors. No leaving campus except for approved medical appointments (one resident who violated this rule was put on a no-bullshit quarantine in her room for 14 days). A lot of old folks aren’t tech-savvy, so things many of us take for granted like email, web-surfing and Zoom meetings with family just don’t happen. The isolation we young folks have been experiencing is nothing like the isolation they’ve been experiencing; it takes a major toll on their physical health and quality of life.
His facility has been COVID-free since late summer, so the restrictions have eased a little bit. They are now dining in small socially-distant groups, and can order food from a menu that is served nice and hot. Residents are allowed to go off-campus again, but the requirements for bringing in outside visitors are so stringent that it mostly doesn’t happen. I normally visit him about once a quarter, but I haven’t seen him since February. A visit from me would involve a flight of several hours, which would put both me and him at risk of infection.
TL,DR: living in a care facility with COVID restrictions really sucks, but living in your adult kid’s house also has drawbacks and hazards for everyone involved.
Ouch. Sounds tough. Yes, no good answers.
My daughter works in a hospital right across the highway from Brighton Rehabilitation and Wellness Center, a nursing home that was in the news pre-COVID for all the violations they’d accrued. At one point the facility had all the COVID-19 cases in the county.
Employees stopped coming to work, rumors were flying, the FBI even served search warrants at the facility.. By September, 332 of Brighton’s residents tested positive for COVID-19 and 82 died.
I think most nursing homes have done better.
Also, in my stay at a nursing facility during July - August, many of the caretakers in the unit had already contracted and recovered from the coronavirus, so they were presumed no longer to be infectious and cleared to work with patients.
Our good friends brought her 92 yr old mom home to live w/ them. The old lady was getting quite depressed in the home - essentially isolated in her room, with meals delivered there. And our friends were very restricted in their ability to visit her, bring her stuff…
Of course, now that they have an old lady living w/ them, life isn’t entirely a bowl of cherries! 
This article doesn’t paint a pretty picture:
Wife’s assisted living facility has had 0 cases among staff and patients so far. A few staff have had it in their own households and had to quarantine. Staff now gets tested a few days after any major family event such as funerals or reunions.
Several residents have passed lately, mostly seem to have just given up. No family, no trips, no excursions about town. Only time they leave is medical. Really expect the deaths to ratchet up after the holidays as if any leave to visit family, they return to an immediate shower and 14 day isolation. A few weeks ago, a small 12X16 building was put up for family visits. Plexiglass wall and separate doors. Not going to be useful when winter finally arrives with force.
…and now the restrictions are back on, at least for my dad and several of his fellow residents. A worker who visited his room earlier this week subsequently tested positive. So now my dad is supposed to stay in his room for the next 14 days, being served lukewarm meals in styro clamshells. There’s only so much TV a guy can watch.
Fuck.
MOM, 95 & in memory care, we see her thru the window but that’s it. The rules for in person are naturally very strict, & as deaf as she is, seeing her 6 foot away won’t work. She tested positive but is asymptomatic but neither my brother or I can take her. So It’s been 8 months. The hairdresser is not allowed or willing to go in so she looks like hell. But she seems happy & I take care packages every couple of weeks full of treats.
My father is in a nursing home. Actually, they call it a “memory care” faciltity, and most or all of the residents have some degree of dementia, ranging from mild dementia to full-blown Alzheimer’s, but they also do all the nursing home care for physical illnesses and weaknesses, right up to hospice care.
Visiting is limited to one visitor a week, masked, behind glass. The visitor must have a negative COVID test within the past week.
Residents are allowed to move around the facility, at least on their own floors. Meals are still in the common dining rooms (one on each floor).
This place has been good. It’s adequately staffed, they’re careful, and they’ve only had a couple of deaths since this whole thing started.
The isolation is not good for people with dementia. I know that not getting as many visitors as he was used to is not good for my father.
Because those who were residing in a care facilty before their COVID diagnosis (a) often don’t have anywhere else to go, and (b) often require specialized care that isn’t available anywhere else.
As to staffing, yes, that’s a concern. Many nursing homes are understaffed by underpaid, underqualified workers.
Higher-end places (like the memory care facility where my father lives) have full-time staff, paid decently, who are tested daily and trained in all the safety protocols.
Some dump out in the Rockaways that exists only to collect Medicare dollarswill be, well, different.
My wife’s facility banned the hairdresser (friend of the owners) for most of the spring and summer. By mid-summer, my wife got the OK to take care of the guy’s hair. She’s been doing mine for 20 years. One of the other staff did the women’s hair that really needed something done. When the hairdresser was left back in everybody wanted to stay with the staff and not the hairdresser. (She’s using the surplus stuff that she got back in the 80’s when she tried to have a salon and she cuts it the way she thinks they want it not their way.)