I think what the person in that article is talking about is something a little different from the “man who buys a woman dinner or drinks expects something in return”.
On some level, I think almost everybody who buys dinner/drinks/does a favor for someone expects something in return on some level. Not sex necessarily - but I think most people would be annoyed if they were always paying for dinners out and the other person never reciprocated in any way, not even with a home-cooked meal. Or if I covered your shift at work and you never covered for me when I ask and so on. Or if there are three of us who hang out at a bar- and one never buys a round.
But there are some people who operate little differently, and I think that is what the person in the article was trying to get at. I had an acquaintance who one time borrowed a dollar from me to use a vending machine ( in the days before they took credit cards or gave change). At some point before the end of the day , he handed me a dollar and I had to ask him why. Neither of us was in a financial situation where a dollar mattered - if I had been in that situation, I wouldn’t have forgotten all about it. I couldn’t figure out why he was so intent on repaying me - in our circle, for small amounts of money and minor favors , we operated on a basis of “today I give you a dollar, at some point, I’ll need a dollar”.
After thinking about it for a while , and based on this guy’s other behaviors, I realized what it was - he didn’t want to be in debt to anyone , because he might be expected to repay that debt at a time or in a way that wasn’t convenient to him. And I think that may have been what the person was talking about in that article - if there are ten of us and I don’t buy a round , any opportunity I have to repay the generosity might be more of a burden that simply repaying people for my drink today.
You’re being quite dismissive of everyone participating in or being spoken of in this thread. I’m enjoying the discussion otherwise, but I think I’m going to bow out rather than subject myself to this.
I think that is the more negative interpretation of that. I grew up poor. I always repaid my debts (even a dollar!) as soon as I could so I wouldn’t be thought of as one of those chiselling poors. More a form of low self esteem than anything else!
And I was certainly happy to lend money if I had it.
Like I said, my view was also based on his other behaviors , the list of which would be too long for this post. Let’s just say he once got caught getting a free hotel room on a trip and trying to charge his roommate half of what the room would have cost if it hadn’t been free- he didn’t much care what people thought of him as far as being chiseling.