The Simpson Defense: “This man was set-up. His blood was planted by crooked cops who carried the Simpson samples back to the scene of the crime.”
The Prosecution: “See here, the crime scene DNA matches OJ. The odds of another person matching are 7 billion to 1, and there aren’t that many people alive.”
The Simpson Defense: “It’s preposterous, ludicrous, outrageous. The samples are contaminated. They don’t match, they are really contaminated by a sloppy investigative team”.
The Prosecution: “I thought you said they are really Simpson’s planted blood? If you claim they are really planted samples, you should agree with the exact DNA match.”
The Simpson Defense: “The blood was planted. Don’t bring in confusing facts.”
The Prosecution: “The DNA matches Mr. Simpson.”
The Simpson Defense: “That blood is not OJ’s. We have DNA experts with even more annoying attorney attitudes that will demonstrate that it doesn’t match”
The Prosecution: “What the hell is your point?! You said it was OJ’s!”
The Defense: “The BBC is going to clear this up one day. They will have cleared, the blood was smeared. You must believe the BBC, and me, and set him free.”
The Prosecution: “Huh!??!”
The Defense: “Believe the BBC, set him free. The OJ blood was planted, and yet our claim is that it doesn’t match, but yet when it matches, it’s due to contamination, not planting, because if it was planted, it would match, but it doesn’t match, yet the blood was planted”.
The Jury: “Otay!!!”
The BBC: “Right-you-are-chaps!”
THE U.S. People: “Someone bitch slap Johnny!”
