My part of the country is now shitty enough to warrant the presidents attention: Local Story. He’s visiting tomorrow.
Lee County, FL was one of the fastest growing areas during the housing boom and one of the hardest hit by the mortgage crunch. So I guess we’re the poster child for the state of the economy.
He’ll be a block from my office. The traffic was bad enough today just from folks waiting to get tickets. God knows what it will be like tomorrow.
So this economic disaster is all your fault?
Florida, you’re grounded. No phone calls or TV for a month. And if your attitude doesn’t improve, we’re selling you to China.
Well, if they had listened to me and my coworkers, a lot of this crap wouldn’t have happened. But we’re not allowed to regulate greed because that interferes with the almighty Free Market.
Be sure to use the plates with his face on them. I bet he’ll like that for dessert.
When president comes, bring pie.
Here’s a NY Times article on Lehigh Acres describing the predicament.
China pretty much owns the US already or at least holds a hell of a mortgage. But if they’d just accept Florida and call it even we might have a deal here. They’d get RatLand of course but it’d be worth it just to watch the Disney assholes come up against the Peoples’ Republic worthies. Hell, it would make a honey of a televised cage match, followed of course by the inevitable executions, accompanied by the soundtrack from Mulan.
Bet the gang banging and carjacking would fall off sharply. Though it’d be hilarious to watch lawfully minded Chinese trying to ride herd on all those cranky retirees peering through the steering wheels of their Caddys, roaring at 25 mph through red lights to get first place in line at the early bird buffet.
Apologies of course to all the FL dopers. It’s a fantasy, okay? There was that prolonged national clusterfuck over your hanging chads. And they aren’t palmetto bugs. They’re roaches the size of mid=line Buicks.
I am headed your way (again) Wednesday, to pick through the distressed real estate and buy myself a bargain home.
Seriously.
Apart from the fact that I have a home and a career in NYC, and very little instant liquidity, Fort Myers is a terrific part of the world and I should figure out how I can pull this off. I’ll get there around 8 PM.
The parking and traffic restrictions have been issued and we’re pissed down here in my office. Most of the streets are closed to through traffic and one whole parking garage (the one most of us use) is closed and all cars have to be out of it tonight. Grrrrrr.
And now the Governor is introducing him. The crowd is pretty loud for only 250 people.