Obituraries in SUV Rear Windows?

Sell a car? They don’t sell their car - they drive it into the ground, and repair it with duck tape.

A ballsack hanging from a pickup trailer hitch is pretty tacky.

But then I grew up with parents that never let us put any bumper stickers on the car. So I’m used to a different mindset.

Fake fender vents - well I probably wouldn’t know they’re fake and not custom mods to make your duechemobile look cool. Last name plastered across the back window, typically in elaborate font, that screams tacky. Don’t think I’ve seen many eulogies or memorials, though.

One guy does have a custom mod to his car, though, that even though functional looks like ass. He drives a Saturn sedan, which is actually fairly small for a 4 door, but has mounted a gigantic platform over the roof as what appears to be a luggage rack. It is welded to the car, slightly sloped up from the front, probably works like a giant spoiler. The platform is as wide as the car and almost as long, from just behind the front windshield to over the tail of the car. At first I thought it was a solar panel, but no, it’s just a luggage rack. Doofus didn’t even make it removeable.

Probably the most solid thing on that vehicle, assuming it’s made of metal.

Metal frame, plywood platform.

Hmmm…I’m seeing an untapped market: stickers showing Calvin peeing on an inscription reading “In Loving Memory of #3 - The Intimidator - 1951-2001”.

Hmmm, wood…call it a draw, then. There’s barely any metal on that car, excepting the engine block of course. That’s why they’re so ding-resistant. For some really heinous mods, there’s a Cheezburger-like site of redneck car fixes that will blind you. off to search

It’s “That will buff out”:
http://cars.failblog.org/

For the record, the fender vents on modern Buicks straight from the factory are mostly cosmetic/fake as well. I suppose back in the day some may have had some function (like maybe in the 1930’s, for factory-installed death-rays), but not lately.

Hah…back in the day, the thing in vogue with Toyota tailgates was to paint over/remove the decals for the “TO” and the “TA” leaving “YO” centered in the middle of the tailgate.

Seriously though, what’s the big attraction to putting tacky aftermarket crap on shit-tastic cars? I mean, I’ll see some 1989 Olds Cutlass tooling around, and it’ll have fender vents and wire wheels. Never mind that most of the paint has either rusted away or flaked off, or that it smokes while it runs.

Or some beater 1980s or 1990s pickup with f-ed up plastic ground effects and running boards, fender vents, and usually some third crappy thing attached.

It’s like these people don’t quite get that you’ll look more rich if your car simply doesn’t smoke or has good paint, than if it has every aftermarket decoration from AutoZone on it. (as well as usually a Virgin Mary surrounded by intertwined rose vines and blooms)

For some of these people, the decal is all they can afford, and at least one had told me that fixing it up is making it more of a target to be stolen. Gotta be a rough neighborhood if burning oil is a deterrent to crime!

I think there are two basic types: the socially clueless, adn the good sense of humour.

The fake sunroof is for socially clueless trying to get laid. The eyelashes are just funny. (I mean, right? Bwaaahahaha!)

Burning oil and fake vents? Either socially clueless or X-mass gift from beloved-but-clueless Grandma. . .

Pro or con? As in are you for it or against it?

…and I like your new philosophy.

It’s a portable mausoleum so they get a tax write off. The ashes are of course in the loved ones compartment formerly known as the glove compartment. Let’s all remember those two cool cars from the Munsters.

Munster Koach and DRAG-U-LA

You might be right Harmonious Discord, it would also seem quite sensible to have a tombstone-style inscription on the rear window if the deceased was actually buried in the trunk.