If someone points out a mistake I made, I like to say:
“Hey! I’m no monument to justice. I lost my hand!”
It puts them off track.
From Moonstruck
Whenever someone mentions shoes to me, I have to fight the urge to blurt out “Shoes, Colonel. That boy was just tryin’ to get hisself a pair of shoes.” When I’m at home, I do drop the line, and then my wife looks at me that way again and says, “Your Tourette’s is acting up.”
They’re not really movie lines, but when someone says “Come on” or “let’s go” to me, I always think and will often say “Lay on, Macduff, and damned be him who first cries hold, enough!”. I vary this with “Lead on, Montressor!”
The “shoes” line is one of Morgan Freeman’s from Glory, “Lay on, Macduff” is from Macbeth and “Lead on, Montressor!” is from Poe’s The Cask of Amontillado. Just in case ya didn’t know.
This doesn’t count because I said this a long time before Millhouse on the Simpsons; But when someone calls me a ‘nerd’, I say;
“I’m not a nerd, nerds are smart. I’m more of a dork.”
**Rocky Horror Picture Show **lines, even though I never went to a late showing.
From the movie One Crazy Summer;
“Stupid… imbecilic retard! -You’re not my son!!” (only time I allow myself to say ‘retard’ that way).
Midnight Madness:
“Fagabeefe” (no, I don’t think it was ment to be insulting).
Cocoon:
“I’ve driven everything on wheels all my life and never had a mishap. … Shit!”
I also use “I’m in the middle of a big bike race” to exit conversations.