Observations of the newly unemployed

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

So yesterday was my last day in the office after 10 years and I am sitting at home more or less doing nothing. Its the first time I have ever been dismissed from a job.

I knew this was coming. I had been pretty unhappy lately and probably not performing as well as I should have been. I used to go home from work every day with a headache and a sense of dread for coming in the next day. And when the company is in contraction mode, having people know you are unhappy probably doesn’t go over very well. So even though I am officially laid off, I think I was really fired.

When you hear that terminations are coming, you think to yourself, “Hey it could be me this time”. So I was able to confirm through a couple of insiders that this was indeed my time. But the boss apparently didn’t want to tell us for a few days. I couldn’t stand it. Now that I knew I was dead meat, I just wanted it to be over so I could move on.

So yesterday, I got the call to go in and see the boss. Short and sweet. He swears up and down that he thinks I am an awesome employee. Its just a numbers game. Whatever. He says it’s my last day. The severance is very generous and will allow me to live for a while.

So I spend the rest of the afternoon cleaning up. After 10 years, you tend to accumulate a lot of crap in the desk. I still have a copy of the Philadelphia Daily News that I bought on my first day of work. I figured I would hang onto it until my last day. Everyone wants to come over and offer me a hand in getting cleaned out. Everyone wants to shake my hand and tell me what a great guy I am. Does everyone always treat you like you are dying?

One of the guys asked me to go down to the pub for a beer. We ended up staying till around 11. I have a lot of stories of my 10 years and a lot of memories. I guess I appreciate him listening to it all.

Today, I slept in. A couple of guys at the office had spoken with my former boss at another company and they had told me that he might have something for me. It’s an option. I called him and he told me he would love to have me back, but he doesn’t have anything open right now. Maybe soon. He will let me know next week.

I sat around watching some TV, took a nap. Called a couple of guys that I hadn’t had a chance to say goodbye to and then called some of my colleagues laid off in the last round. Spent a good bit of the afternoon tidying up my resume. The one thing I felt was this overwhelming sensation of loneliness. I am typically very introverted and spend a lot of time hidden away at my desk. But this is different.

My wife came home and we went out for dinner. Even when I am sitting with her at dinner, I am distracted by what had just occurred yesterday afternoon. I still am tonight.

Its late now. No headhunters to call. I just have to figure out what I am doing tomorrow morning. I’m not broke and as long as I am smart with my money, I won’t be for a while. There are job options out there which is a luxury not everyone has.

I know I am luckier than friends whose spouses don’t work. I know that many of my friends received a lot less severance. Ultimately, there is still a gross sense of failure; that I didn’t accomplish what I set out to accomplish in this job and whatever route I take now will set my career back. Even though I know things could be a lot worse than they are, it’s a pessimism that I have never truly felt before. I think this will pass. I do believe that, eventually, starting over is better than some of the frustration I felt at work. I just doesn’t seem like that right now.

My first day as a statistic.

2

It’s not much consolation, I know, but you’re not alone. I’m no one to give advice, but I’m going to anyway. Set a routine and goals for yourself, because it’s really easy, I think, to just slip into depression and apathy. Don’t stay at home all the time…go out, see things, take advantage of the time to do and see things you had always planned to, do the chores you never had time to, etc. Spend time with your friends and family…that’s one of the things they’re there for. And most importantly, don’t give up hope.

Captain Amazing-5 months unemployed and counting

3

Ditto on the “stay busy” comment. It’s easy to get all pathetic and “woe is me”, but you aren’t alone and you won’t be unemployed forever.

It IS a kind of death when a long-term gig ends. Relationships and that particular purpose in your life have ended. But you need to move on and start planning your next steps in restoring some normalcy to your life. It’ll happen.

Good luck! Keep the faith!

4

Hi, Neptunian Slug, and welcome to the club. Meetings are on Tuesday afternoons and usually someone brings some snacks.

Two little tidbits of advice:

  • You said your wife is still working? Congratulations - you *do *have a job! Your job - along with looking for a new job - is to do a lot more around the house. However much you were doing before … you’re gonna do more now. You may find that there is more to do than you could possibly have the time for. (This could be taken as snark but I swear it’s not.)

  • This is your chance to take at least a half-assed stab at the various little dreams you’ve had and shoved aside. Always wanted to write The Next Great American Novel? Have at it. Always wanted to pick up a new foreign language? Get some language lessons on tape (I guess it’s CDs now) and give them a whirl while you take care of some of the things around the house that your wife used to handle.
    Enjoy getting to sleep in or take a little nap when you feel like it!!

5

I’m in the Club. Whatever you do, make sure to get outside at least once a day. It’s a good idea to go out for coffee in the morning and then take a walk. Don’t become a slug.

It’s too easy to spend the day inside at the computer and TV.

6

Annie-Xmas is right. If you can, join a gym and go out of the house to exercise every morning. Exercise will help you sleep better, and after years in what sounds like a desk job, might do you some good. Getting up when your wife does will also help you stay on a social schedule. Good luck.