Obsolete jokes

Weren’t they a string quartet?

Or Lord Mountbatten

Ouch

I’m not sure why this was obsolete back in '06, but it’s certainly become topical now. :eek:

How do we know Nixon was a slow learner?

He had to watch Deep Throat four times before he had it down Pat.

Remember the zombie thread rules, "it is acceptable to revive an old thread if you have some substantive comment to add. " which I believe allows us to discuss the Michael Jackson joke, but probably not to add new jokes, right?

[jedi mind trick] This is not a zombie thread. The mods will not shut it down. [/jedi mind trick]

Anyhow, one of my favorite jokes applied during a brief period in 2003, before the invasion of Iraq. It is now obsolete, and I mourn its passing:

I like the old soviet jokes

When I was a kid, I was reading an old book of jokes and one of them went like this:

What do you call one white man with ten black men? Quarterback.

What do you call one white man with one hundred black men? Warden.

What do you call one white man with ten million black men?

The Prime Minister of Rhodesia.

I had absolutely no idea what Rhodesia was at the time.

I do not get that joke about the “kagate” at all. Please explain it to me!

Back in the day(1980ish) I had an Irish/Jewish jokebook. One particular joke stands out although I cannot remember the lead up to the punchline. I’ll try to lay it out.

Something about an old lady who lived in the penthouse and some old man who was maybe an elevator operator. It seems he thought she was Catholic because she always made the sign of the Cross when she got in the elevator.

It turns out, no, she was not Catholic, but was checking her jewelry. "My tiara, my brooch, my earrings… oooh, my earrings!

Something like that.

I think the point is they don’t believe he’s a spy, they think he’s a soviet intellectual who is trying extreme measures to avoid his obligation to public service.

When I was a kid and making prank phone calls was the rage, the joke was calling up a tobacco store and asking “Do you have Prince Albert in the can?”, and then answering “Better let him out” if they answered yes.

Prince Albert is (or was) a type of tobacco. I believe the “in a can” meant the loose tobacco (either roll-your-own or pipe, I don’t recall which), as opposed to rolled cigarettes or cigars.

The phrase “the can” is also a slang reference to “the bathroom”.

Rhodesia (now Zimbabwe) was a white-run black African country, very near South Africa in both senses of the word. They suffered from the unreasonable fear that if the black indegenes were allowed to run the country, it would disintegrate into a mass of corruption, crime and a busted economy. And now Zimbabwe is… well, surely you know.

The version I’ve heard is the Jewish man was riding the elevator everyday with someone who thought he was scared of elevators and Catholic. But it turns out the Jewish man was just forgetful, so whenever he got on the elevator he checked to make sure he had his spectacles, testicals, wallet and watch (joke-teller’s hand moves to gesture to head, tummy, then side to side.)
Obsolete because who wears watches anymore? Time’s on your cell phone!

In *The Colour of Magic *, Rincewind spends a short time on a real world aircraft, and ends up back on Discworld along with the Luggage which is now marked with “the powerful travelling rune TWA”. Rendered obsolete when TWA went away.

From back in the early days of AIDS:

Q: What is the worst thing about having AIDS?
A: Persuading your mother that you are Haitian!

A guy walks into a bar. He sits down, gets a cold one, and asks the bartender, “Hey, wanna hear an ethnic joke?”

The bartender says, “Well buddy, I’ll have you know that I’m ethnic. And those bikers down the bar are ethnic too. In fact we’re all ethnic here. This is an ethnic bar. So maybe it ain’t such a good idea for you to tell ethnic jokes.”

“Ah, don’t worry. I’ll tell it slowly.”

I had to look. Who would want to do that?

:eek: :eek: :eek: