Okay, it’s weird where it happened, but it happened.
Ten minutes ago, I went into the washroom at work, and while in the stall after taking a leak, I sat there and thought the phrase, “Fuck you Jehovah” and did not immediately beg for forgiveness.
I just typed the phrase here and I have not and will not beg for forgiveness.
Because I just said fuck you to nothing. At all.
There is no being of whatever substance or name up there listening in on my thoughts so they can zap me with punishment. I know it. I feel it.
Ever since I left the Jehovah’s Witnesses, I’ve been dicking around, clinging to the label Deist, because I wanted to cover all my bases and you cannot prove a negative and say for certain that there is no creator or ultimate being.
But now, it doesn’t matter. I’m done. I’m an atheist. It’s kind of weird that this thought train came upon me in the bathroom, but whatever. I’m free. I can think or do what I want without fear of some meddling malevolent spirit creature taking note of my every move. I am truly free.
I’m not proud or anything. I’m not even crying. I’m sort of numb.
I’m an atheist.
Fuck you Jehovah.