Ode to a Candy Bar

Once upon a time, there were Kit Kats.

Kit Kats were good, but strangely unfulfilling - after all, they are only four bars in miniature, and all together, comprise too little chocolatey goodness to give satisfaction.

Then there was a marketing genius at a chocolate company, who had a very simple idea. Bigger is better. Size matters, it’s not just how you chew it.

Thus, the Big Kat was born - full-figured to rival traditional candy bars, but with the same intrinsic yumminess as it’s tiny brethren. And the Big Kat was good. (And just imagine four of them, side by side, in a Super Kit Kat! But I digress…)

But for some reason, the stores don’t all stock Big Kats. Which makes me sad.

So it is for my breakfast this week, each day I shall have a Snickers, which doesn’t really satisfy, but allows a meager subsistence.

Have you tried King sized snickers? How about with almonds? The almonds work like asperin, with is nice. Also, howabout you combine the idea of the Dunkin Donuts cereal (No longer being made, sadly) with the new candy, donutz ? Put a bunch in a bowl, and fill with milk. :smiley: No joke, the texture of these candies are the best I have seen outside of a russian grocery store.

You misunderstand - it isn’t the volume of the Snickers bar that fails to satisfy, it is the taste and texture. And almonds are the devil.

How about you paste the four miniature kit-kats together with chocolate frosting into a cube of chocolate - would that help?


sigh it’s just not the same…

I just wanted to say, I just finished a giant KitKat bar. Dang, was it ever good! :stuck_out_tongue:

Dang it! Now I want a Big Kat and all I have are Sno-Caps.

Stupid Sno-Caps…

Have you tried the chocolate chocolate Kit Kats. That’s not what they’re called; chocolate lovers’, maybe?

Anyway, they’re goooood.

swampbear is mean. :stuck_out_tongue:

No, I prefer my KitKats like I prefer my Amish garb : traditional.

Not only did I have one today, I bought three of em cause the store had a big ol’ display of em and a sign that said buy two get one free! So There! :stuck_out_tongue:

[Vaderkin Skywalker] Nooooooooooooooo! [/Vaderkin]

I looked for these in the grocery store tonight, but they didn’t have any. I think I might just like candy that makes me feel kid-sized–I got a Reese’s Big Cup.

I grew up with two sisters and a brother, and we each only got one piece of that damn Kit Kat, anyway.

Well, I prefer my Amish garb like I prefer my stip clubs: flashing neon lights on the outside, and naked women on the inside!

My goodness! :smack:
I just remembered I bought a big Kitkat last week. :confused:
Where did I put it? :frowning:

Which Amish garb is that? The costumes from Joel Schumacher’s remake of Witness?

I have a giant KitKat for my break in a little bit. Just thought you’d like to know. :stuck_out_tongue:

I’ve never had one, but my sister raves about them. Might go get one now.

But you’re from the wrong chocolate company.

Gamera, I was going to suggest you go to your local restaurant supply store, tear the roof off with your gigantic havoc causing claws, and take all the remaining stock. Bwa, Ha, Ha!

Then again, it seems like you want to remain unnoticed, judging from your name, so how about going to the place, telling your sad tale to one of the people who shop there, and convincing them to use their own membership card on it.

Or, you could simply shop online. http://www.candyfavorites.com/shop/shopexd.asp?id=185&pname=Big+Kat

Let’s call it ‘market research’ - then it’s tax deductible as well! :smiley: