Ode Yesterday's Hit-and-Run Driver

You hit a parked van, then you stepped on the gas
You left the scene! You stupid dumbass!
In your black SUV (like a bad stereotype)
While parallel parking, your tore off his light

And then you drove off, leaving witnesses aghast
That you’d be such a bitch and drive off so fast

To see the results, you hatched a plan so half-assed:
To check out the damage, again you drove past!
You slowed down for a peek, and we saw you again
And we thought “what a fuckface!” as you zoomed by the van

Of course, your licence plate number we gave to the cops
And hope the van’s owner gives you a smack in the chops

Let’s hear it for turning a $75 careless driving ticket (if any at ALL if this happened in a private parking lot) into a hit & run–possibly worse if there were passengers (attempted vehicular homicide if you get a creative attorney!).

silly peoples.

It was a “street parking” thing, but as the damage was most assuredly less than $1000, the police don’t even need to be called.

Well… if they’d stopped the police wouldn’t have needed to be called, but since they took off…

And they weren’t kids, either. I’d peg the woman and her sister/friend at about 35 years old. They should know better.

So not one, but two idiots!

Good for you for caring enough to call the police. I’ve had my truck very badly damaged right in front of the guy I was renting the space from, and he didn’t do anything. Person who hit it completely smashed in the passenger door.

Well, if it happened in Minneapolis, the police wouldn’t respond. The hit and run division was cut do to budget cuts. In Minneapolis, crime doesn’t pay, but look at the savings!