You hit a parked van, then you stepped on the gas
You left the scene! You stupid dumbass!
In your black SUV (like a bad stereotype)
While parallel parking, your tore off his light
And then you drove off, leaving witnesses aghast
That you’d be such a bitch and drive off so fast
To see the results, you hatched a plan so half-assed:
To check out the damage, again you drove past!
You slowed down for a peek, and we saw you again
And we thought “what a fuckface!” as you zoomed by the van
Of course, your licence plate number we gave to the cops
And hope the van’s owner gives you a smack in the chops
Let’s hear it for turning a $75 careless driving ticket (if any at ALL if this happened in a private parking lot) into a hit & run–possibly worse if there were passengers (attempted vehicular homicide if you get a creative attorney!).
Good for you for caring enough to call the police. I’ve had my truck very badly damaged right in front of the guy I was renting the space from, and he didn’t do anything. Person who hit it completely smashed in the passenger door.
Well, if it happened in Minneapolis, the police wouldn’t respond. The hit and run division was cut do to budget cuts. In Minneapolis, crime doesn’t pay, but look at the savings!