Odes and Elegies to Trump

The BBQ Pit
1

I hope all Dopers give this a try: compose poems to honor our Great President. (Perhaps this belongs in Cafe Society, but it seems best to ensure that the broadest lexicon is admissible.)
Don’t be bashful! So that nobody worries about submitting the worst poem, I’ll claim that distinction immediately. (I’ll present my Villanelle later, if there are enough submissions so I needn’t worry about it being the 2nd worst poem in the thread.)

*Bird got to fly
Orphan got to eat
Trump got to squat and grunt and tweet tweet tweet.

Bird got to land
Widow got to cry
Trump better pinch a turd or he gonna die.
*

2

Mm, mmm, mm!
Donald John Trump

He said that we must build a wall
And Mexico will pay for it all
Mmm, mmm, mm!
Donald John Trump

He said he would fight for L, G, B and T
Then banned trans folks from the Army
Mmm, mmm, mm!
Donald John Trump

He said no refugees allowed
There might be Muslims in that crowd
Mmm, mmm, mm!
Donald John Trump

He said when Heather Heyer died
There were fine people on both sides
Mmm, mmm, mm!
Donald John Trump

Yes!
Mmm, mmm, mm
Donald John Trump!

3

I think I hear a golf clap from Bokonon out of the great beyond. :slight_smile:

4

Joan Baez: Nasty Man
I’ll let Joan speak for herself:

5

[quote=“bobot, post:4, topic:799714”]

Joan Baez: Nasty Man
I’ll let Joan speak for herself:

[/QUOTE]

She was my heroine when I was still a child. Thank you for posting this! Among many good verses was this one:

YouTube picked a song from 44 years earlier (" Live at Sing Sing Prison" concert) to follow it:

I could spend the rest of the evening just listening to this great woman.

6

From Nasty Man, Google’s YouTube demonstrated its pattern-matching skills:
Mr. Tangerine Man
Sympathy for the Donald.
Enjoy!

7

My pleasure!

Most excellent!

8

Actually Don Jr.'s haiku is the best haiku ever.

9

She said, “Grab me like
Trump would.” I said, “I can’t now
That you’ve asked me to.”
#haiku

10

I want you to know
It’s time to go
'Cause you are dumb
I just want to see
The back of your family

Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb, you are dumb
Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb, you are…

Dumb weird beings foiling Barry
Every voice rings out and carries
No we won’t just go back
Home without you hearing
The sound when the many say
You are dumb

11

Speak not but good of the dead.
He is dead. That is good.

12

I haven’t fired off a double dactyl in a while. Stand back, everyone; I’m out of practice, this could go anywhere.

Covfefe dovfefe,
Forty-fifth president
Rode coalition of
Nazis and hicks

After the sturm und drang,
Quadradecpential,
My favorite number is
Now forty-six.

13

Well the stock market’s high
So I’m ready to buy

Do the Scott Adams
Yeah
Do the Scott Adams

It looks like there is trouble
But it’s a media bubble

Do the Scott Adams
Yeah
Do the Scott Adams

14

“Confounds the Science”

15

I’d have to go with the Vogon “Ode To A Small Lump Of Green Putty I Found In My Armpit One Midsummer Morning” :
Putty. Putty. Putty. Green Putty - Grutty Peen. Grarmpitutty - Morning! Pridsummer - Grorning Utty! Discovery… Oh. Putty?.. Armpit? Armpit… Putty. Not even a particularly Nice shade of green. As I lick my armpit and shall agree, That this putty is very well green.

16

Pretty sure this is paywalled. My top five of the 18 offered by Don J- er I mean Will Stephen:

Buildings are the best,
With elevators, and glass.
So cool. So cool. Chyeah.

The White House. It’s real.
I thought it exploded in
“Independence Day.”

America First.
Hell, yes. Badass. So baller.
I have five children.

Aboard Air Force One,
We are kings. On my iPad,
I watch “Neighbors 2.”

God, I miss college.
Beer bongs. Beer pong. Every night,
I would piss my slacks.

17

The US has a Pres who is sick, sick sick
So they called for the congress to come quick, quick quick
The congress came with a vote and some crap
And they knocked at the WH door with a ratta-tat-tat.

The minders at the door just stood and shook their heads
And they said, “The Pres has just gone off to bed, bed bed”
“He’ll be tweeting in the morning, just as shrill, shrill shrill…
But come baaack in the morning with more pills, pills pills”

18

To the tune of the “Car 54, Where Are You?” theme:
North Korea’s shooting missiles,
And Houston’s getting shattered,
Puerto Rico’s under water,
And Florida’s been battered,
Muslim bans keep getting struck down,
The Constitution’s tattered–

President Trump, where are youuuuu?

The wall has not been started,
The NFL’s disapproving,
NAFTA may be on the rocks,
Nazis find his remarks moving,
He has no plans for ACA,
At least his golf game is improving–

President Trump, where are youuuuu?

19

There was an orange asshole named Trump
Who put the whole world in a frump
When caught in a ruse
He would type “It’s Fake News!”
In his tweets while taking a dump

20

@ Mods — I think I placed this thread in the wrong forum. We’d get more submissions in IMHO.