I’m fairly anal retentive. If something can be put in order, I like it to be in order. I like for things to be black & white wherever possible, but I will accept the fact that that doesn’t apply to everything.
I also hate surprises. I’m not a control freak by any means, but I don’t like situations where I don’t all the facts.
I think a side effect of this way of thinking is a lack of emotion. I’m not a very emotional person. It takes a lot to get to me.
Us anal retentive types might be able to control how much emotion we show, but I don’t believe that anyone can control how much emotion they feel. IANA shrink, but I’d say that your “lack of emotion” is not connected to your anal retentiveness. I’m quite anal retentive, too (my realtor once diplomatically referred to me as “meticulous”), but I’m neither over- nor under-emotional.
I do all of that. I enjoy a good laugh. Hell, I enjoy a bad laugh, too.
Maybe what I’m talking about is passion. Some people are extrremely passionate about things. Whether it’s their job (I like my job a lot, but I’m not gonna go Tom Cruise about it), or their hobbies and outside interests.
I’ve never found any activity that I wanted to go nuts over. I tend to get bored easily, so my passion for any given thing wanes after I’ve absorbed (assimilated?) whatever it is I found interesting about the subject. Afterwards, it just beomes part me (like the Borg).
[Spock] I am in control of my emotions. I am in control of my emotions.[/Spock]
A former gf described me as living in a ‘shallow emotional landscape’, which she felt was rude enough to apologise for, where I hadn’t taken it as a critisism. But I’m not sure I’d say like Mr Sky ‘I’m not a very emotional person’, it’s just that I don’t readily express myself (I’m a middle class English bloke, I don’t do expressive) and I think there’s a positive feedback that goes on when someone starts emoting, if you keep a stiff upper lip you damp that out.
I can relate to a lack of ‘passion’. I used to be like that about some things wheras now I tend to dabble in things I find interesting rather than (to utterly overstate) indulge in my passions (that’s probably against the law here anyway, we’re not like the Italians, anyway it’s usually too cold).
IANA shrink, but I see one about 4 times a year (for medication management).
I am anal retentive, obsessive/compulsive, I hate surprises, and circumstances out of my control.
My shrink told me that, contrary to the usual advice he hands out, he wanted me to concentrate more on feeling and less on thinking. It has been some of the best advice I have ever had, and my life is so much easier now that I allow myself to show the emotions I am feeling. YMMV
Maybe you are depressed? Or your anal compulsiveness is an attempt by your psyche to fill the empty void where your emotions should be? Or your lack of emotions, like your compulsiveness is another way of trying to control your environment?
Are you age 25-35? Because that would plant you squarely in “Generation X”. We don’t feel emotions like normal people. Just irony, righteous rage and sarcasm.
My SO is quite… (anal-retentive)… but he’s not unemotional at all. So I don’t think the two characteristics are necessarily connected. (Although they may tend to be – I don’t know enough people like that to be able to generalize.)
You know you’re anal retentive and focused too much on keeping things in order (like cans of soup in the cabinet) when your ex-spouse (only half jokingly) refers to you as the non-homicidal Martin Burney