… You do know what Crunt-knockling and Nipplotism are?
The phrase “pictures or it didn’t happen” did pop into my mind.
I’ve always been curious to try crunt-knockling, but my girlfriend doesn’t want to get the surgery. And strangely enough, I experienced my first nipplotism in an airplane lavatory.
Flang is just gross though.
Gross? You must be using the wrong type of custard.
Funny, I didn’t think you could perform nipplotism without a hermaphrodite dwarf and at least two liters of saline solution at hand, but apparently you’re far more resourceful than I thought.
In a pinch, I have resorted to substituting one of those small “no smoking” signs for the saline.
You’re using custard?
Philistine.
This is the Straight Dope, buddy. When come back, bring illegal-in-38-states pie.
Anyone who tries flanging without French champagne and a silk-trimmed trampoline is a barbarian.
I count at least six dead:
-five shown here, none with the arrow still in place [noparse]http://oglaf.com/stalker/1/[/noparse]
-plus the last casualty. [noparse]http://oglaf.com/two-reports/[/noparse]
Re blaming he apprentice the whole thing started when she was inhaling bad decisions incense so the mistress has some culpability in this. Re the progression of the storyline it will be interesting to see if anything changes for the apprentice. He’s shown as something of a schlub so far. This quest is the most incentive he’s demonstrated so far. Can he go back to just being the sad masturbator?
I think of myself more as a purist.
Don’t forget the reason he’s doing what he is doing is that he killed mistress’s monster and desperately needs to get another. If he doesn’t and mistress finds out he will probably be killed. He has no alternative.
Nipplotism is like hypnotism, only with nipples.
Interestingly, I have it on good authority that Crunt-knockling was what Meatloaf had in mind when he penned the lines “I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that”.
Per the most recent cartoon, I think the cat’s out of the bag on that one. In the first panel, that looks like the corpses of the monster and the lizard of guilt on the table.
True, but Ivan doesn’t know what Mistress knows, so my point is still good. He’s not going to fetch another monster in some show of unprompted initiative, he’s just utterly desperate.
My w.a.g.: IF Ivan somehow finally gets laid, destroying the city’s magical protection so that Mistress can conquer it, AND he gets a replacement monster, AND in the process gets tortured to within an inch of his life, then Mistress might just barely forgive him.
The last bit, about him getting tortured within an inch of his life, only counts if Mistress gets to watch.
Any word on when the new Oglaf will be posted?
According to the author’s twitter feed, a multi-pager in this story arc is coming out today.