That’s hard. I’ll be thinking of you and your family and sending good thoughts your way, Ogre. I empathize.
Ogre your posts have both broken and touched my heart. I am so sorry, and being in close to the same situation with my own parents, your sadness and loss truly touches home. My most sincere condolences, take care.
Ogre, I’m sorry for your troubles. 
No child or spouse ever thinks they will have to endure what you have endured. yet, we all do to some measure.
The lemon juice into the emotional papercut you have had to deal with is encountering the insane and vulturous world of The Funeral Home Industry.
I’ve been there, twice, with planning for brothers and I just want to kick the blue suited vultures in the nuts when I look at the cost to bury a loved one. It makes me want to open a cut rate funeral home.
Right now it is important to let your dad (and yourself) greive, but remind him that Life Goes On. ( It’s a fine line, really.) I highly recommend catapulting any grandkids at him as often as possible.
The end was not how she would have wanted it, but you can have a dinner in memory of a well loved and well lived life in her honor.
I’m sorry for your loss. It sounds like your family is one of the lucky ones with tons of fond memories, few sad ones, and no regrets. I found that a close family with good memories is just so comforting. I cried when my mom died, but she filled our lives with so much love that the memories are like a big soft blanket that’s always there to wrap myself in. Wishing you strength and peace.
Ogre, I’m so sorry for your loss…I’ve been there and all you can try to do is carry whatever she gave you proudly.
I also sympathize with you on the “upsell”. If my mom hadn’t been so ill when my dad died, and we were just trying to get through it as quickly as possibly, the funeral director would have had perhaps a slightly rougher day. His questions and comments were awful. If I may, while everyone is reading this thread, think about what your family will do when something happens to you - save them some decisions (and money) - make your arrangements now, the way you want them and pay for them. That way, in the end, you will get your wishes and it will be much easier for your family.
Your post was very moving, I am so glad you have kept us updated as events have unfolded, thank you.
She sounds a wonderful woman and your family sounds charming and warm and filled with lovingkindness.
We are currently, at the, teetering on the brink stage, here in our home and all I can hear in my head is the words to that song;
Like a bird,
from these prison walls I’ll fly.
I’ll fly away.
I’m so sorry for your loss, my thoughts are with you.
Ogre, good thoughts for you and your family. I’m sorry for your loss.
GT
I am so sorry to hear your news. Sending supporting thoughts your way.
Ogre, thoughts and prayers with you and your family. And this from an agnostic. Not sure what else to say.
-Matey.
{{{Ogre}}}
Love is endless. Look to your heart and she will always be there.
Thank you for sharing. Your genuine love for your mother and father (and theirs for each other) has touched my heart today. Peace be with you and your family during this time of grief.
I’m so sorry to hear of your loss.
I hope you can find peace, strength and happy memories in each other.
I’m so sorry, Ogre.
I know you don’t know me from Adam (or Eve, for that matter), but
{{{{{{Ogre}}}}}}
My thoughts are with you and your family.
Ogre,
I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. You know, some of us are blessed. You are. I am. Because although we’ve each lost a parent, my god, did we ever have wonderful ones.
From one child of Appalachia to another, best wishes.
I’m so sorry, Ogre.
I’m also amazed by your father’s devotion and honoured to be on the same planet as a man so devoted.
Thank you all so much. I swear I’ll respond in more detail later, but we had the wake tonight, and we’re burying her tomorrow - and I desperately need sleep. It may be a few days before I can properly write, but I’d like to thank all of you.
Especially you, elbows. Because of your post, I believe my sister-in-law will be singing “I’ll Fly Away” at the funeral tomorrow. Thank you for that.
Ogre, I’m so very very sorry.
Also, I’d like to appologize on behalf of most decent funeral directors everywhere-that should not have been done and people like that give the industry a bad name.
Hi all. As I promised, I want to wrap this thread up properly. I’d have done it before, but I frankly didn’t want to read through the thread again to refresh myself. Hell, freaking Gray’s Anatomy made me cry the other night when they had to turn the life support off and let the old woman die.
I probably should have just let this go, but I promised, so here I am.
First, thank you all again for your kindness. I have noted that more than one of you with whom I have vociferously wrangled in the past have selflessly offered me kind words and emails. We all know that this is a wonderful board, and you people have proven it to me once again.
Second, to those who have either been through this before (jsgoddess, Kalhoun, Canadiangirl, Shirley, Zab, StGermain,) or are going through one stage or another of it now (elbows, Bosda, kaiwik,) you have my empathy. If I can help you or do anything for you, let me know.
As for my own situation, I’ve cried often. It’s hard waking up and knowing that I’ll never speak to her again. It was even harder having to leave my father alone in the house that first night after I had to leave. Fortunately, he’s a bulldog. He appears to be taking it as well as he could possibly be expected. He’s not moping. He’s going back to church and to his previous volunteer activities. Of course, we all know that no equilibrium has been reached yet, and that this is a stage of his grief…specifically, the stage where he is trying to keep himself exhausted and keep my mom off his mind. I’m speaking to him frequently. We’ll see how everything shakes out.
Thank you all again.