I ran out of cigarettes, and for various reasons, haven’t been able to get more yet. So, I haven’t had a full cigarette since yesterday. I can’t even remember the last time I went a day without cigarettes, and I’m pretty sure I’d remember this feeling. Which is to say, really, really crappy. I’ve already done the “find all the smokeable butts” bit, that no one who has never suffered through withdrawal would ever understand. They say nicotine is more addictive than heroine, and today I’m inclined to believe it, as I search through every possible place where a forgotten half-pack of cigarettes might be hiding. And this is just day one.
Someone please tell me that Day 1 is the worst one?
The worst part, especially for me, is the stupid emotional thing. Generally, I handle my emotions pretty well, but today, the teeniest, tiniest thing sets me off, and I’m crying because my pencil fell on the floor, or the wind blew in the wrong direction.
So now I sit and wonder. Do I suffer through the next few days, which should be the worst, and go ahead and try to quit while I’m not smoking anyway? That’s what the logical half of my brain is telling me. However, the other half, which actually appears to be about 7/8 of my brain, knows that if I am within reach of a cigarette within the next few days, I’m going to smoke it. That’s the problem with quitting involuntarily, I guess. Even though I’ve told myself a million times that I’m going to quit.
I’m going through the same thing right now. Just tell yourself that you’re stuck in a no smoking allowed zone and you can deal with it until you get to another place.
If you want to quit, and you’ve already been without a cigarette for a while, then why not? When I was young I had to jump off a diving block to pass some swimming stage and I stood terrified on the block for about a minute before my instructor just grabbed me and threw me off. I haven’t been afraid of diving since. If you keep waiting for the right moment it might never happen.
I wish it were that easy. I want to quit, logically and practically. However, emotionally, I don’t want to quit. I like smoking, and I like the way I feel when I have a cigarette. And the real danger is, I know exactly how good the first cigarette I smoke after this will make me feel.
Quitting is hard enough. Quitting when you haven’t mentally prepared yourself for it… for me, it’s almost a guaranteed recipe for failure, because the minute I have nicotine in my grasp, I’m going to smoke it. Unless it takes more than a week or so for me to get nicotine in my grasp, which I am pretty sure won’t happen.
I’m proof that if you want to quit you can. I used the patch and I went from about 4 packs a day to ZERO overnight, and I have never looked back. That was almost 5 years ago.
Yes, the first day is the hardest. Yes it gets better from here. If you can hold out for at least 72 hours the physical cravings will be mostly gone and what you’ll have left is the psychological stuff which can be very powerful.
The first 3 days were indeed the hardest. I think it’s easiest to do without great preparation, actually. The many times I planned to quit - made a schedule, journalled my reasons for each smoke, found substitute behaviors for smoking, etc. - didn’t work. All that effort just made me think about cigarettes more and more.
The only two times I quit for longer than 6 months where when I got pregnant. Now, you’d think I was one of those “lucky” pregnant women who were revolted by the very odor of smoke. Nuh-uh. I still craved it. Still loved it, and loved the idea of it. But I just didn’t. That was it. No patches, gums, Bic pens to chew on. Just didn’t light up a cigarette. What I couldn’t do for me alone, I was able to do for my baby with comparative ease.
Lasted for 3 years once - then he was two and I was in a theater program at college (read: rehearse, smoke, drink coffee, repeat) and it all went downhill.
This time I’ve been smoke-free for 13 months, and don’t, at this point, intend to go back. The price of cigarettes scares me - $7 a pack around here!
Plus, you know, that whole health thing.
It took me almost a year before I could hang out with all of my smoking friends and not spend every second fantasizing about bumming a smoke.
IM (repeated) E, the worst day is the third one.
However, in your case, it’s probably worsened by the fact that you haven’t decided to quit, but instead happen to lack cigarettes and are searching for at least one everywhere. Were you on your first day after having decided to quit (hence thinking that you’re not going to smoke anyway, instead of hoping you’ll be able to), it would probably be significantly more bearable.