I search the world over, and I thought I found straight dope,
Your column ended, and phhffffbbttt, you was gone.
Maybe Unca Ceec is locked up in a nursing home and can’t respond.
I know for a fact nursing home victims, I mean patients, are free to use their phones and laptops.
If they remember how.
I am destined to be interred at a nursing home.
I vow to remember how to use these devices.
If not, can I call you?
I ask the whole Doper community to rescue me.
Surely, some of you lazy bums will show up, cut the ankle alarm off and carry me away.
Trust me, it’s the last thing to go.