Oh Fenris...

Cafe Society
#1

and anyone else who wants to play the “create a demented musical” game.

I should first explain the context. My daughter’s “musicals” class has been given an assignment. The assignment gives a list of actors, limited information about the kinds of characters they play, and from this information is supposed to develop a synopsis for a musical (this must include appropriate plot lines and songs).

What the class has come up with is pretty funny (albeit VERY Australian) and I’m happy to share it with you all; just thought it would be fun to see what fellow-dopers would do with the same material.

Your actors and their immutable characteristics are as follows :

Britney Spears : good, must die

Courtney Love : bad

Haley Joel Osment : annoying

Skippy (the bush kangaroo) : evil

Willy (the whale) : dead

Anthony Hopkins : bad, insane

Jet Li : good
Go for it guys. Hint - my daughter’s class has the theme as the premiere of Willy’s rap CD featuring Eminem; the location as a cruise ship (safer from terrorists); the theme song as “The Love Boat”; and Skippy the Bush Kangaroo as Anthony Hopkins’ (who wants to eat Britney Spears) evil hench-marsupial.

Go to it guys, let’s get creative…

#2

Sounds like fun, but who’s Haley Joel Osment?

#3

“I see dead people”

you know the little bastard…

#4

He’s that kid who whispers “I see dead people” in The Sixth Sense. I think he also plays Bruce Willis’ son in Unbreakable. And Pay It Forward as well?

#5

:confused: I don’t know who half those people are!

Jet-Li? Haley Joe Osment? Courtney Love (wasn’t she the one who was married to the grunge guy who killed himself?)

Fenris

#6

OK, I had a couple of free minutes:

Courtney Love was married to Kurt Cobain. She played Larry Flint’s wife in The People VS Larry Flint.

Haley Joel Osment is the kid who sees dead people in The Sixth Sense and the robot-kid in AI.

Jet Li is a Chinese actor who specialises in Martial Arts movies. He played in Lethal Weapon 4, Romeo Must Die and his most recent movie is The One. You probably saw trailers for ‘The One’ on TV.

Anthony Hopkins played Hannibal Lecter in both Silence of the Lambs and Hannibal. He also played Prof. Abraham Van Helsing in Dracula and many other roles.

Skippy is the beloved Kangaroo of our youth, and Willy is the killer whale from Free Willy.

All right, now let’s see what happens…

#7

[begin hijack]

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by MJH2 *
**I think he also plays Bruce Willis’ son in Unbreakable.

Actually that was a different actor. I tried looking up the cast list of Unbreakable just now, and IMDb is apparently having a few hiccups with their server, so I can’t find out his name. There were a number of scenes invovling that kid in Unbreakable that made me want to throw things at the screen in contempt.

I’m not sure why Osment is so widely regarded as annoying.

[end hijack]

#8

Spencer Treat Clark played Bruce Willis’ son in Unbreakable.

#9

Thanks for the clarification. I get these kids all mixed up. At one point I wasn’t sure whether Joey Lauren Adams was a boy or a girl!

#10

Ok, now that everyone knows who’s who…

Curtain opens on tropical beach

enter Britney Spears, stage left, sings
Just sit right back and you’ll hear a song,
A song of a fateful thong
That I’m wearing with this tiny bra,
Being jailbait isn’t wrong…take it Willy!

*enter Willy the Whale stage right, swims up beach, beaches himself, gasps, dies

silence, sound of crickets

Helicopter lowers from ceiling, Jet Li backflips off of skid, sings*
There was this mighty crazy man
who wanted many dead
Because of him I met a marsupial
And gave him a kick in the head
a kick in the head