If the Straight Dope were a musical:
What would be the plot?
Who would be the characters, and who would play their roles?
What would be some of the songs?
Who would be the director?
Who would be the choreographer?
Who would be the composer and lyricist?
It looks like Meek would be our musical director.
I think “the Straight Dope musical” would be one half Monty Python musical number and one half Wagnerian Opera.
Jim
Settings:
Act I - An Internet cafe.
Act II - The Chicago Reader’s server room.
Act III - Hi Opal!
Aw c’mon, you knew that was coming.
Act IV - The Wrath of Cecil
Act V - Slug’s Return
Act VI - The Winter of our Missed Content
Act VII and Conclusion - The Adulation of Elendil’s Heir
… What?
Certainly the overall moral theme would be fighting ignorance, no?
Oh, Rio by Duran Duran has to be prominently involved in the score.
Well, OK… but for no more than 20 minutes.
There’d HAVE to be an atheists v. Christians fistfight.
But it’d have to be Sharks/Jets dance style, and completely irrelevant to the main plot.
Hee hee!
(to the tune of “America!”)
I like to be a Cre-A-tion-ist
If you are not you are ON my list
You’ll feel the hurt of my YOUNG Earth Fists
I like to be a Cre-A-tion-ist!
Bravo! Bravo!
You post a thread as a CHRIST-yon
You must prepare to be PISSED-on (ha-ha)
You will be branded a big troll
Banished to some distant a-toll!
E-vo-lu-TION is a BIG fat lie
WHEN you tell FIBS it makes JE-sus cry
I dismiss YOU with a FLIP of wrist
I like to BE a Cre-A-tion-ist!
Would this mean that Cecil would be like the Great and Mighty Oz? Who would be behind the curtain?
Whoever it is would be on a treadmill.
Thanks to TUBADiva and Ukelele Ike theere’d be lots of oom pa pa
<scene>: As the large, opulently-frocked curtain pulls apart, the audience hears an increasingly louf “whirring” noise, which is revealed to be a treadmill.
On this treadmill is a small airplane, in which sits 6 people, uncomfortably wedged into the cockpit with several reference materials, including the 2004 OED, the complete Encyclopedia Britannica, and a CD containing 1/3 of Wikipedia. the CD is being used to protect the dashboard of the airplane from a cool, frosty beer.
All 6 people speak simultaneously, in a Greek Choral style.
6 people: “Cecil told us to wait here. What are you doing here?”
…the curtain closes, fade to black.
-Cem
I thought about people who could pull of Cecil’s mix of erudition and ‘nice try, bub’ sarcasm, and my list stopped with Kelsey Grammer.
As for songs?
Well hello, Zotti
Well hello, Zotti
It’s so nice to have you back where you belong…
He is a bit old now, but is not John Cleese the master of this?
Jim
Cleese is great at it, but I don’t know if he’s as strong a singer.
I call dibs on being Statler or Waldorf in the balcony, hurling lines down at the cast.
I, too, think there should be a big fight scene between Creationists VS Evolutionists. And lottsa viking hats and pointy spears.
I suppose there would have to be some kind of running gag through the show about squid and Death Pool and I Burning Your Dog.
Beer will be served during the show.