Let's come up with the worst (and best) ideas for (BLANK): the Musical

A thead inspired by Rocky: The Musical. Was Stallone high or does he need money? Anyway, what are your ideas for the worst (and best) movies and TV shows to be turned into a Broadway musical??

Worst:

Glee, the Musical. Why is that insipid show so popular?
Law & Order:SVU the Musical. Nothing like singing about sex crimes.

Absolute Best: Wolverine: The Musical starring Hugh Jackman. I would kill to see that one!

I’d like to see Frankenstein: the Musical. The gimmick is that all of the songs would be taken from other musicals, sometimes reworked, and stitched together into one frightening, bloated corpse!

There’s a Light Over At The Frankenstein Place – Rocky Horror Picture Show
Something’s Gonna Live! (Something’s Gotta Give!)
etc. etc. ad infinitum ad nauseum

Why, yes, I did grow up reading *Mad *magazine. How could you tell?

Battlefield Earth: the Musical. Performed on a tilted stage! Bubble gum scenery to make chewing it easier! Dance routines on stilts! Scientology lecture at intermission!

Carrie: The Musical. Whadaya mean, it’s been done?

Worst: Warren Commission Report-The Musical!

Best: The Mad Magazine Musical

I dunno…maybe Rocky will be good. (Aren’t Ahrens and Flaherty doing the music?)

Anyway, here’s my pick:

Best: The Wind In The Willows (it’s had several musical version, but nothing high-profile)
Shadowlands (the play/movie about the romance of C.S. Lewis and Joy Gresham–could be a very intimate romantic musical)

Worst: The Da Vinci Code

The thing is, it’s hard for me to think of anything that would defy musicalization, since my favorite musicals are based on:

-an updating of Romeo and Juliet to the slums of 1950s New York
-a cheap Roger Corman horror-comedy about a man-eating plant
-a legend of a murderous barber and his ingenious way of disposing of the bodies
-a passel of presidential assassins
-a book of loosely related short stories by James Michener about life in the South Pacific during WWII
-the story of an Asian monarch trying to navigate the demands of a changing world without alienating his people, and the British widow who both inspires and endangers him
-a European play about an impulsive, violent carnival barker and the trouble he causes even after his death
-an epic French novel that spans twenty years, covers a slew of characters, and tackles heavy themes like religious faith, justice, and redemption
-an Ingmar Bergman film that was one of his rare romantic comedies
-a bunch of short stories by Yiddish author Sholem Aleichem about life in turn-of-the-century Russia
-an update of Puccini’s La Boheme to 1990s Greenwich Village
-an update of Puccini’s Madame Butterfly to the Vietnam War
-a Charles Dickens novel about child abuse, crime, and grinding poverty (but with a happy ending overall)
-the signing of the Declaration of Independence and the political wheeling and dealing that had to be done to accomplish it

…well, with all these sources, I can see almost ANYTHING as a musical. I guess the only bad sources would be if the source material doesn’t…well…sing. If, even in moments of emotion, you can’t imagine the characters singing.

Sawney Beane: The Musical

We’ve already had cannibal musicals – Sweeney Todd (who was the same status of mythical) and “Cannibal: The Musical”. What would make this one different is the characters total lack of empathy and charm. It’d put a stop to future cannibal musicals. I hope. If not, maybe H.P. Lovecraft’s The Picture in the House: The Musical will.

**Schindler’s List ** the musical.

I WOULD say some WWII-ish like Downfall, but I would fear an accidental hit . . .

Johnny One Note: The Musical

Saw: The Musical
Can’t decide if best or worst idea.

Highlander 2-The Musical

Muhammad!

Much snippage ahoy:

I can identify all the others, but not these.

And for my candidate:

Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Hush.

“a European play about an impulsive, violent carnival barker and the trouble he causes even after his death” - Cabinet of Dr Caligari?

-an Ingmar Bergman film that was one of his rare romantic comedies

–This one’s A Little Night Music

Musial: The Musical

The story of baseball immortal Stan Musial, who married his childhood sweetheart, rose quickly through the minor leagues, had a long, distinguished major league career, never had an alcohol or drug problem, never accused of personal or professional impropriety, retired on his own terms, and lived well and well-loved until his death.

Possibly the most boring storyline in the history of theater, musical or otherwise.

Assassins

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