Well it’s a bit of a gross story buy here goes:
I was out smoking on my deck, enjoying a cold beer. After 10 minutes or so, I head inside, taking my cold beer with me. A few moments later I take a swig. Swallow. (see title of thread). This is not my beer. “But it’s cold” you say. Yes, but it is also cold outside. Any other beers left out on the deck would also be cold. As it turns out, this beer had been left on the deck since Christmas, a single can of the exact same stuff I’m drinking. That’s over 3 weeks of exposure to the elements, wildlife and city smog. It tasted awful, totally flat and watered down. I really have no idea what could have been in that sip.
Lesson: never set your beer down. Or clean your deck.
Still though, surprise beer is still beer.
Wait, I don’t understand, you sat an unfinished beer down and just walked off and left it?
Is that what your saying?
You sir, are a perfect cad and unworthy of calling yourself a man. Turn in your testicles at once.
Chuck Norris will be around tomorrow morning to collect your testicles. He will give you a receipt if you ask.
Has blindness set in yet? (hmm, how will he read this and respond if it has?)
1up:
about 20 years ago I was a cheap college student. I thrived on cheap beer - Pfeiffer’s, Meisterbrau, Rhinelander - purchased in cases of returnable bottles (do they still do returnables nowadays?). After purchase I kept the new cases at room temp, tossing just a few in the fridge at a time.
One evening I pulled one of these beers out of the fridge and popped it open. I didn’t really notice that it didn’t make the classic “FFFFSSSSTT” noise when I removed the bottle top. I took a swig, and immediately had the most awful taste sensation ever. OHMYGOD, I ran to the kitchen and rinsed my mouth out for about two minutes after that.
So what happened? Inspection revealed that the returnable bottle had a substantial chip of glass missing from the rim; when the bottlecap was installed at the brewery, it never completely sealed the bottle. I don’t know how long it sat in the fridge at the store, but it sat in my hot, summertime un-air-conditioned apartment for maybe a week before I put it in my fridge. After that first apocalyptic sip of pure evil, I poured the rest of the bottle’s contents into a glass, revealing a massive schlog of…something…that had grown in there, presumably during the warm storage period in my apartment. Gawd, gives me shudders just thinking about it, and that was damn near twenty years ago…
Ahh, I though this was going to be about that age-old quandry: “Damn…now which can was I drinking out of and which can did I pee in?”
I thought it was going to involve chugging a cigarette butt from the beer can Taipan used as an ashtray.
As a homebrewer, I’ll note that the homebrewing books insist that there’s nothing that’ll grow in beer that’ll kill you. However, considering the stuff I’ve seen in “infected” (contaminated with another organism) batches or beer, I can definitely understand the horror when you do encounter something like that so up close and personal! :eek: I’ve personally been fortunate and only had mild souring in my own beer.
I(and some of my friends) used to dip snuff and had a habit of spitting in empty beer cans.Nothing worse than taking a chug of your own tobacco juice…unless it’s someone elses.
How many friggin’ partially-consumed beers are sitting around your back deck? Sounds kinda W.T. to me. Clean your deck.
…and if they were 40’s or double dueces?What does that sound like to you?
He said, paraphrasing Socrates.
My mother once served me some nasty wine at Christmas, and when I mentioned that it didn’t taste right, she said, “you liked it at Thanksgiving.” I was baffled at how the same variety of wine could taste so different, until I figured out that she was serving not just the same variety but actually the same bottle, which we had not finished a month previous.
Ants, flies, spiders, bird shit, pollen, dust, arsenic from the pollution, mold spores, pesticides and carcinogens.
Hey, you asked.
That was pretty much my first thought. There are reasons for cleanliness, you know. 
Been there. Done that.
I accidentally drank my boyfriend’s dip spit. Makes me want to yak just thinking about it, and it happened close to 15 years ago.
I’ve done that…and gone so far as to drink the wrong one…though it was bit more complicated than that.
I’ve also set a beer down for awhile, come back to take a big swig only to end up with a highly inebriated cockroach in my throat. Gawd you gotta love living in the deep south.
Every once in a while, I’ll have a bottle that wasn’t quite clean enough, and had some mold growing in it. Nothing worse than the large snot-textured raft of mold sliding into your mouth.
I’ve had a few batches that have gotten very soured, but in some cases, I was able to repurpose a few bottles of the batch into mustards, and other products, but it’s sad to open a beer that you expect to taste good, but doesn’t.