Ooh ooh! Save it for The Thread!
One has to ask: If this thread is prepared, can it beat Superman?
Actually, Malacandra, I think it’s this link, which, you’ll note, was never edited.
Yeah, what can I say? I tried to go the no-edit route but I turned out not to be as smart as I thought I was. I’m so ashamed. 
With its eyes closed.
But, yeah, I think I’ve changed my mind. A thread this awesome is just too much to unleash on the world right now. Instead, I’ll break it up into 212 threads to be spread out over the next 10-15 years.
When you leave your home, keep an eye out for the mob of angry Dopers
Aw, shucks. I didn’t mean to denigrate your efforts, just to share my own.
If the OP is weaseling out, may I nominate my own newest thread as one that has something for practically everyone: Which is the more PC term: “ass pounding” or “meat colonoscopy”?
Please, ask your children too. 
The Honeymooners did it 40 years ago, and better. Backwards, in high heels.
With 1920’s style death rays?
So can we at least have the first word of the, uh, thread? If it’s not too much to ask? Feel free to use spoiler tags. 
None taken. But I was genuinely 
'ed to see my own little effort didn’t work. I mean, I could have edited both posts into oblivion, but that would have seemed like cheating. 
they worked when I tried them (see posst #60) each leading to the other is what you intended, right? you evil evil person.
Oh, I believe your wife wept, alright.
Seriously, a very amusing OP and thread, guy.
True Blue Jack
This Thread of Magnificence will have Pirates and Ninja’s, right?
Holy cow, I’m the first one to say…
Cite?
But where’s Rue?
Yes, but they were meant to do that without having to edit them to get them to work. 
Leave your family out of it!