I’ve known a woman who is an incredibly picky eater for YEARS - and its only recently that I realized how picky she was. I don’t have a lot of tolerance for “center of attention” picky eaters, but she isn’t. She’s an “eat something before she comes over, graciously turn down what she doesn’t like without saying anything about not “liking” that, know exactly where on a standard menu to find what she wants and how to ask for a change in preparation to suit her (just broil the chicken without seasoning and a plain baked potato with a side of butter)” picky eater.
Contrast with my ex-sister-in-law, who was the worst to feed because she was incredibly picky and made a huge deal out of it - complaining that “there isn’t anything here I CAN eat” and “no one ever remembers that I’m allergic to tomatoes” (Her list of food allergies, determined by her homeopath, was as long as my arm, and she’s the reason people don’t believe people who DO have allergies. Because on Tuesday she was “allergic to gluten” and on Thursday she was eating pizza because it looked good.)
I hates her. Ooooh, how I hates her. Please, can I let her have just ONE good real allergic reaction to something? I’ll gladly donate one of my experiences. Or hell, I’ll donate a sensitivity issue. Nothing life-threatening, I promise, just something to make her really, really miserable for a couple of weeks.
Oh dear. I thought this was a friendly coworker lunch. I didn’t realize he thought this was an actual date. But he insisted on paying the check, and bought me this nice lingerie. I guess I better have sex with him so he doesn’t think I’m unappreciative. Mom would be so proud.
I wouldn’t ‘gag’ at the table. I might feel like doing so but I am in control of myself and am apparently a good actress.
I think adults with no health or allergy problems should be able to do this or to train themselves to do this. It’s not like overnight I magically am able to force down repellant foods, I have had years to practice.
The only person the ‘no thank you’ response is better for is the person eating the food. The person who worked hard at making it will still be put off by it.
The flip side of this is that if someone has a food they don’t like or have problems with from a health perspective I go out of my way when they are coming over to make damn sure they can eat everything served or have a valid replacement (my vegetarian friends will sometimes get a meatless version of the same dish but often I make a different protein fo them).
I’m gluten intolerant myself. Which doesn’t mean I’ll die, or blow up, or even be really miserable for a few weeks. It means that if the chocolate cake is good enough, it might be worth cramps and a few urgent bathroom visits. I avoid gluten, but I never tell people I’m allergic to it
I actually liked Brussels sprouts before trying this method but now it’s the ONLY way I cook them. The caramelization, especially of the loose leaves that turn into chips, does indescribably wonderful things to them. They’re like candy. For those thinking of trying this, make sure you toss frequently though.
Anyway, I was raised by people that insisted I at least try something once before declaring that I don’t want to eat it. I am raising my kids the same way. All kids go through picky periods but most come out of it if you stick to this policy. Barring any allergies, most kids will find they love stuff they once hated.
My oldest was four or five and firmly in the chicken fingers/hot dogs/mac and cheese phase but I kept making her try one bite of everything. Strangely, what brought her out of the phase was veal picatta. Now she happily tries everything; sometimes she likes stuff, sometimes she doesn’t…but she tries everything.
As for me, I hate beets. HATE them. My husband happens to love them though, so every year or so, I give it another shot when he orders them and ask for a bite to see if my palate has changed. Nope. They still taste like dirt to me.
As for your girlfriend, I’d advocate dumping her. You’re a foodie, she’s not and the two are not compatible.
I could not be with a picky eater. Because food is great and I like trying new things and I want to experience that with my partner, and also because I find overly picky eaters childish (I have maybe, 4-8 things I flat out don’t eat, I am repulsed by onions, utterly repulsed so that is the only thing my partner would HAVE to accomodate when cooking for me), mostly because unless there is a medical reason I find limiting your diet to a handful of “safe” foods incredibly childish.
I also love travel, and I highly doubt someone who can only eat meat and potatos has the kind of personality wants to visit exotic locales. It’s a personality type that wouldn’t mesh well with me, and I would not waste either person’s time trying to make it work.
edit: Almost forgot my reason for replying. There was one time when my mom and I were going to a new church, so she invited the Pastor and his wife and 2 kids over to our house for pasta, my mom worked for a long time to make a white pasta sauce from scratch (at the time she had zero cooking ability, so I know it was an effort for her). The pastor was a non-sophisticated, southern small town guy. He literally would not eat the pasta because of the white sauce. Did not even try it. Did not even know what it WAS, and that was why my mom couldn’t even convince him to try ONE FORKFUL to decide whether he liked it or not.
What did he do? Asked her if she would please get him some un-sauced noodles, and a bottle of ketchup. Ridiculous, childish.
You know what you are? You’re like a guy with micropenis or a small dick, or a short guy with “little man’s” syndrome, or a “nice guy”. You got something inherently wrong with you that will leave you lonely, bitter, and forever overcompensating all the days you walk the planet with your little secret. Sorry sister, better live with it, nothing to do but suffer like a man. By women’s standards you are worthy of ridicule and scorn.
Frankly, you sound like a bigger pain in the ass to eat with than most of the picky people folks describe. I mean, onions? Really? None whatsoever in any food anybody cooks to share with you, ever? That eliminates 90% of the dishes in my repertoire, or at least makes them vastly less enjoyable. It would be easier to make a little extra pasta and leave it unsauced or throw in a few chicken fingers when you’re making the bread than to eliminate such a common ingredient. And cause less resentment; the plain pasta or the chicken tenders in place of whatever other protein doesn’t affect my meal, but taking onions out of a dish does, and after a (fairly short) while I’d be talking about how childish and picky and hard to eat with you were.
devilsknew, this is way out of line and I’m giving you a warning for this. You’ve been told many times before that this kind of insulting, jerkish posting is inappropriate — and been warned for it officially. Your posting privileges here are going to be under review very shortly.
QFT–for a somewhat unrelated example, see this article on how Facebook users disliked their negative (insecure) friends much more than the enthusiastic ones.
This wasn’t meant as an insult. I was simply telling her what she is comparable to in unattached, unabashed, terms. I was simply saying that in this riduculous world that she had better get used to it. This coming from a guy who has been accused of being a “nice guy” and insulted for it on this very board. I have the utmost sympathy for her, and it was a simple matter of fact statement, and comparison, not an insult. I am sorry if you or she took it the wrong way, but when she asked “What am I?”, I thought to myself hey… you know what she sounds like? This particular subset of men that deal with unique physical/mental problems of little sympathy which women have no equivalent affliction. Just pointing it out. Once again I am sorry if you read this out of context, but my intention was not to insult. I was answering her question and pointing out unique similarities and warning her how there will be little sympathy. I am not at all unsympathetic to her plight, because I am a homecook who works around many people’s pickieness and dislikes, I feel sorry that they cannot enjoy foods and take pleasure like other people, but I have never insullted anybody for it, and my intention was not to here, either.
The very frustration and tone in that last sentence conveys the exact same frustration and anger of people that suffer from the equivalent afflictions.
Micropenis, short stature, and being a “nice guy” are not any more “perceived” than an eating disorder, they are physical and mental, concrete, conditions.
Yes they are real conditions. But a comment about someone driving a truck to compensate is an insult (for example). Someone may actually have “short man syndrome” and saying that someone does is certainly not a compliment and is in no way related to having an eating disorder.
??? I am not sure how this is supposed to relate? I don’t understand… there have certainly been times when I have thought to myself, when seeing either the very obese, very skinny, or very picky… hey, “I bet that person has some underlying mental or physical condition, or both, that might relate to their condition, some kind of eating disorder”. But never once have I said to them, “hey, do you have an eating disorder?” which could easily be as insulting as saying someone has short man’s syndrome. They might either be very angry about it, or in denial, or both.