OH MY GOD, there other people sharing the world with me? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

[Cat_Whisperer]

And the incredibly sucky part of that scenario, Wolfian, is that if he hit the illegally-crossing kids, the trucker would probably be charged with something, and if not, he would at least have to live with having run into kids with his truck. When I’m a pedestrian, I try very hard not to get hit by vehicles, and when I’m driving, I try very hard not to hit pedestrians. Maybe the kids we all see acting like such assholes crossing streets don’t drive yet, and have no concept of what it’s like on the other side of the steering wheel.

That reminds me of an asshole-kid story. I was driving home while kids were waiting for buses after school, and a bunch of young boys thought it would be funny to pretend to push one of their friends out into traffic in front of my car. I was thisclose to pulling over and reaming the holy shit out of these kids for playing such an incredibly not funny (and dangerous) game.

[Fern_Forest]

@Malienation

Hmmm… I’m surprised no one’s mentioned the obvious: develop a gross, disgusting, avian-flu sorta cough. Make it a real phlegm-rattling one. I’ll bet they’ll move… Far.

That was my hooker repellent. It worked like a charm.

[Clothahump]

@DianaG

This is my single biggest peeve… people who are in a huge hurry until they get in front of you, at which point they suddenly have all the time in the world.

Same way on the damn highway. There’s always an asshole speeding and weaving in and out of traffic…until he gets in front of you. Then he settles in and starts slowing down. And if you pass him, he’ll pass you again and settle in and slow down.

Ad infinitum.

[Fionn]

@ryobserver

I walk past or through a university campus on the way to and from work. It’s amazing how many of the kiddies seem to have never walked in a city before (or else they’re from New York, and nowhere else counts as a “city”, so they can stroll like they’re on a lonely country lane).

I’m amazed at how few accidents there have been at the university where I work, given the crowds of morons who never pay any attention to lights, traffic or anything walking around campus.

Yesterday, I had dinner with friends at a restaurant downtown with a single recessed door. When we tried to exit, we found the doorway completely blocked by two couples and a fifth person who had apparently chosen that spot out of the entire damned street to chat. I barely managed to stop myself myself from saying “Oh, for fuck’s sake” as we gently pushed open the door to alert them to the existence of people who might want to exit.

[want2know]

For inconsiderate shitstain walkers of every shape, size, gender, age, ethnicity, whatever–try living in the Holy Land of inconsiderate behavior itself: beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada!

Yes, folks, people actually live and work here (about 2 million in Clark County at last estimate), so all the previous anecdotes about malls, supermarkets, sidewalks also apply here. But for the ultimate in GET-THE-FUCK-OUT-OF-MY-FUCKING-WAY frustrations, I give you…THE CASINOS!

We locals have occasion to be in the casinos for any number of reasons. For my SO and I, it’s bowling or restaurants. Now some of the blame can be placed at the feet of the casino itself–some have tried to cram so many slot machines into every available square inch of space that just finding a navigable walkway is an adventure–but for absolute stupidity on top of inconsiderate behavior, you just can’t top tourists, especially when they are traveling in large groups.

You know the type: the ones that think that wearing a fucking “HELLO my name is…” sticker on their clothes actually makes them important or something. Try maneuvering around a group of about 8-10 standing in the MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING AISLE, looking up saying “ooh…lights…pretty…shiny things…” while I’m trying to observe proper “walking ethics”, hoping that if I say “excuse me”, the drunk-ass “leader” of the group doesn’t take a swing at me (believe me, I’ve SEEN it!).

Or Grandpa, who decided to retire to our fair city so he can spend his retirement years (and his pension) sitting in front of a slot machine, lugging his oxygen tank and/or walker right down the center of a walkway, stopping to marvel at the bimbo who just hit 4 aces on video poker.

And if you think teenagers are bad in malls, try encountering a group walking 4-abreast in a casino aisle. Talk about I’m-hot-shit-who-the-fuck-are-you; here they just seem a lot worse.

[Cat_Whisperer]

@Fionn

<snip>Yesterday, I had dinner with friends at a restaurant downtown with a single recessed door. When we tried to exit, we found the doorway completely blocked by two couples and a fifth person who had apparently chosen that spot out of the entire damned street to chat. I barely managed to stop myself myself from saying “Oh, for fuck’s sake” as we gently pushed open the door to alert them to the existence of people who might want to exit.

On a somewhat similar note, I was leaving Safeway a while ago, and the exit door automatically opened as I left and hit a woman who was just standing there. I did not say sorry or excuse me (and since I’m Canadian, you know what a big deal that was ) - if you can’t figure out how the doors work at Safeway, I ain’t apologizing to you, and I’m especially not apologizing for the automated door. The door that hit her was probably the one she used to leave minutes earlier. It’s truly amazing, the leaps of extremely simple logic that people don’t make.

[Pine_Fresh_Scent]

Here’s a music video from the Verve that fits this thread pretty nicely. It shows examples of a lot of what folks have done or want to do when walking down the street.

I know it’s all scripted, but it’s still fascinating to watch the singer (Richard Ashcroft) plow his way through everyone in his path with the expected results. I’ll bet if anyone tried this for real the video would last about 20 seconds.

The more times I watch it, I wonder if all the folks are hired actors. Some get a pass if they move out of his way; so do little old ladies and baby strollers. I was surprised he didn’t hip check the girl who gave him the disparaging once over, but it doesn’t look like he’s out to cause trouble for those not in his way. Simple but cool video (IMO).

[Ice_Wolf]

Cheekiest bit was when he hopped up, onto, then over that woman’s car. Having to dodge around cars on footpaths is a bugbear for me from time to time. You can’t get away with what he did IRL without a visit to the local hospital’s A&E, mind.

[Cemetery_Savior]

@Random

Hear, Hear.

I work across the street from the Downtown Store Formerly Known as Fields.

Where the hell do these people come from? How can you be so oblivious to what is going on around you? Does*t it HURT to move that slowly?

What limited brain process generates a yelp of surprise at the amazing fact that there are
ACTUAL PEOPLE ON THE SIDEWALK when you exit a department store in the HEART OF DOWTOWN at NOON at the HEIGHT OF CHRISTMAS SEASON?

Are your eyes, brains and ears in one of the 8 giant bags that you are carrrying? Or maybe in the SUV-sized double stroller?

When I worked at 200 S. Wacker, there was a slightly large building right across the street. It is large.

It was also right across the river from Union Station.

It never failed to amaze me how people would walk out of Union Station and then crane their necks upward, looking at the mostruous Sears Tower. What really got me was that they’d continue to walk down the (very) busy stretch of Adams Street toward the Tower, all while looking directly upward.

When you stand under the Tower and look straight up, your vision gets a little wobbly (I’m not a doc…you tell me why this happens), and the tourists tent to wander off into the cab lane (NOT a good idea), or into the street itself (even more NOT a good idea…lotsa traffic on Adams).

Natural Selection will weed out the Gawking multitudes!

-Cem

[elmwood]

A special announcement to Wal-Mart shoppers in beautiful Las Cruces, New Mexico: we know some of you love to shop as an extended family, but please break up once you get into the store. A slow-moving family reunion consisting of los abuelos, mama, padre, tios y tias, primos y primas, y 15 niños making a slow paseo through the aisles, and stopping to have drawn-out group discussions about four-packs of toilet paper or six-packs of Coke can make it very difficult for others to navigate the store. We understand that close traditional extended families are an integral and important part of traditional New Mexico culture, but please … split up just for an hour or so.

[Canadiangirl]

My big one is the hoarchers (spelling?)…you know the ones, every two seconds, they have to clear their throat and spit on the sidewalk. Jesus, get someone to look at the state of your health…and while you’re at it, buy a belt to hold those pants up, you look like a moron.

[araminty]

Sort of related - I was at Target today, and joined the 5-items queue - you know the deal, one queue for two (or more) registers. Makes sense, yes? So I stood, where the clearly marked arrows on the floor indicated. A gaggle of people came up behind me, one of whom became exasperated by my indecisiveness, and walked straight in front of me, starting her own queue at one of the registers. I did the typical roll-eyes, shake head, tap foot, when the woman behind me leaned in and asked, “Which line are you in?”

Gobsmacked, I somehow muttered, “There’s one line.”

Thankfully I was backed up by some other shoppers. But honestly, who doesn’t know about this system? It’s in every supermarket round here, and at ATMs…

[Dead_Cat]

@Fionn

I’m amazed at how few accidents there have been at the university where I work, given the crowds of morons who never pay any attention to lights, traffic or anything walking around campus.

I agree. I usually cycle around campus, usually at a higher speed than most people seem to expect. Those that see me coming but step into the road, thinking they have more time than they actually do, I can just about forgive, but those who step into the road with no warning and without even looking - that’s dangerous. Often there is only room in the road for my bike going one way and a car going the other way. If someone steps out when a car’s coming, guess who I’m going to have to hit?

[Malienation]

@araminty

Sort of related - I was at Target today, and joined the 5-items queue - you know the deal, one queue for two (or more) registers. Makes sense, yes? So I stood, where the clearly marked arrows on the floor indicated. A gaggle of people came up behind me, one of whom became exasperated by my indecisiveness, and walked straight in front of me, starting her own queue at one of the registers. I did the typical roll-eyes, shake head, tap foot, when the woman behind me leaned in and asked, “Which line are you in?”

Gobsmacked, I somehow muttered, “There’s one line.”

Thankfully I was backed up by some other shoppers. But honestly, who doesn’t know about this system? It’s in every supermarket round here, and at ATMs…

Hmmm, didn’t know they had Targets in Australia. Anyway, might they have been Americans (or other non-Australians)? Here in the U.S., home of efficient shopping, we’re behind the times, line-wise. Almost all stores here have separate lines for each register. Only universal exception: banks.

[Exgineer]

@Ensign Edison

When people (tourists) would block the sidewalk in Manhattan, a friend of mine would stand behind them and say “NOPE, NOTHIN’ GOIN’ ON HERE!” until they moved.

I don’t like having to go to New York for any extended period because my whole personality changes, and not in a good way. You can tell exactly how long I’ve been in town by how I react to people clogging up the sidewalks.

Day 1: Excuse me, may I get by, please?

Day 2: ‘Scuse me, comin’ through.

Day 3: Comin’ through on your left.

Day 4: Watch it, buddy.

Day 5: CAN THE REST OF US USE THE FUCKING SIDEWALK TOO?

Day 6: <head explodes>

It takes me days to retrain myself when I get home.

[villa]

@Malienation

Hmmm, didn’t know they had Targets in Australia. Anyway, might they have been Americans (or other non-Australians)? Here in the U.S., home of efficient shopping, we’re behind the times, line-wise. Almost all stores here have separate lines for each register. Only universal exception: banks.

I am pretty certain in the Arlington/Alexandria one here they have that same system for the express lanes. I will check next time I make my weekly outing there.

My God, I live a sad and pathetic life.

[rinni]

My sidewalk peeve is people who won’t get out of my way when I’m walking on the sidewalk with my boyfriend and I have nowhere to go, and they have everywhere to go.

I understand that if I walk on a thin sidewalk where there’s only room for two abreast, I will move out of the way so that you can pass. No problem! I’m not a sidewalk hog! But this particular sidewalk had room for about 10 more people beside you, and it was EMPTY. What am I to do, shove my boyfriend into the parked car or what?

It was two in the morning, the sidewalk is completely freaking empty, and I’m walking with my boyfriend, holding hands. We’re near the edge of the sidewalk, but some large guy comes walking up - directly at me. There is about 10 feet of space directly on his right, but oh no - he wants the exact space I’m occupying. Sigh. I can get people to move out of my way if I put on my bitchiest face and glare at everyone, right in the eyes, but that is totally not my style at all. So I ducked behind my boyfriend. This sort of thing happens all the time. Sometimes I just run into them, but running into large guy at 2 am didn’t seem like a good idea. I hate that he just gets to go ahead and do whatever he wants!

I even went to the trouble of drawing an illustration of Sidewalk Arse. I drew it with my trackball which is freaking hard to draw with. I know I could have used the text tool and straight lines and circles, but where’s the fun in that?

[Carl_Corey]

@Canadiangirl

My big one is the hoarchers (spelling?)…you know the ones, every two seconds, they have to clear their throat and spit on the sidewalk.

I hear ya. That drives me nuts. And then you see the product glistening on the ground. Nasty.

The worst was what I saw yesterday: (grossness warning)

Someone had left a loogy. . . that was a puddle. I’m serious. We’re talking something like four inches in diameter (estimate, I did NOT measure it.) Unbelievably foul looking. Glistening, with nice chunks of matter in it. Right at the bus stop where of course I was waiting for a bus. So I had to turn away because I really didn’t want to vomit.

[Annie]

You had my gross detector go off at ‘glistening’

[Unauthorized_Cinnamon]

Ah, just the thread for me today. I have a broken foot. It actually doesn’t hurt much, but I’m supposed to stay off it, and it hurts my knee and my back to walk much in my protective boot.

So of course, I had to go to Target today for holiday stuff. I figured I would feel kind of dorky, but thank myself in the long run if I used the electric scooter. It wasn’t too bad. Of course, I tried to be vigilant and be careful around corners so as not to run anyone down, and also tried to keep the big ass thing to one side so a cart could get by me.

At one point, I moved forward into a corner to make sure people could get by while I assessed twinkly lights. To get out, I had to back up, which involves a mortifying “beep-beep-beep” sound. I oriented myself to go down the aisle - only to come upon a woman deeply examining every pack of Xmas cards on the shelf.

There she squatted, in the middle of the aisle, taking down a pack, scrutinizing it, putting it back. I waited for a minute, then finally parked the scooter to the side, got out, galumphed my way around her (I sound like a movie monster - "THUMP, rrrriiiip [velcro]), got some lights, hobbled back, and by the time I got on the scooter she finally moved, never indicating she knew I was there.